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I have a sweet aunt (86 years old) that is suffering from paranoia and depression. She lives with her disabled son (mid 50's) who is taking the blunt of her manic periods. She will not go to a doctor to get the right meds, any suggestions how to get her to go to a doctor for help? We live far away from them but hear the cry of help from her son. Any suggestions from those that have experienced this would be greatly appreciated.

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Oh my, that's a tough situation. Does her son have medical POA? Is she mentally competent to make medical decisions on her own behalf? Unfortunately it's often very hard to get a person with mental health issues to seek treatment or to comply with their meds until a crisis hits or they are hospitalized.

If he has POA or could get guardianship, it might make it a little easier in that it would be harder for her to refuse treatment, but physically getting her to the doctor would still be a challenge.

If her depression, mania, or paranoia get to the point that she is danger to herself or others, he could call 911 and have her taken to a mental health facility for evaluation.

Does she have a primary doctor that she trusts that she would be willing to see for a "checkup"?
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I have friends who are trying to get their mentally ill son to go to the dr under the guise of physical care. Or perhaps you could call adult protective services for the son.
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I don’t mean to start a panic, but here in Akron, Ohio, there was a man with lifelong mental issues who was charged with taking care of his mother who suffered from dementia. He did EVERYTHING for her with no help from his siblings who lived nearby but chose to turn a blind eye to what was going on. Apparently decades before, they’d had a grandfather who had a bad experience in a nursing home so they would not place their mother in one. Their brother had enough one day and snapped. He stabbed his mother to death. His sister appeared at his trial claiming they’d “failed” their brother and showing remorse. A little after the fact, I’d say.

If your cousin is sending up distress signals, please don’t ignore them! Do all you can to find him help. Notify other family members. Call APS. Make sure something is done. Please don’t leave him out there fending for himself with your aunt.
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