I've been recouping from a burnout and things are going pretty good, except I've found that I dont know life beyond caring for my mother anymore. I miss "me" and really want to find myself again but have no idea where to even start.
Has anyone else been through this and what did you do to help yourself?
I've also been hit with agoraphobia as a result of the burnout, which isnt helping at all.
I went through something similar some years ago when I became disabled. Agoraphobia, depression, 'who the bleep am I?", all of it. It helped me to learn that the brain continually rewires itself. Picture brain pathways as branches of a tree. If you want to stop a behavior, take baby steps to replace it with another behavior you want. Pretty soon the unused pathways (staying inside?) are replaced with others (sitting in the garden?). It becomes very easy once that process begins.
As others said, baby steps are important. One of mine was to make eye contact and smile at one stranger each day. That was it. Any setting. It was the start to getting out of that shell I had been hiding in, and my progress was rapid!
Anti-anxiety/anti-depressants are a wonderful to get your brain functioning normally again. They are generally used short term - think of them as a cast on a broken leg. :)
Finally, like others have said, just get out there and try various things. You will probably try 10 things you laugh at later because they were such a bad fit, to 1 or 2 that triggers a "Hey I like this!" response. As you go through this process, you will remember who you are or perhaps meet yourself for the first time?
I am excited for you. This will be a wonderful time in your life.
I also love to hang at a Goddess store/ Tea shoppe. People of all faiths welcome in and the place is more relaxing and more spiritual to me than my church, which just reopened thanks to the Pope, but it has changed too much...
If you google grief coaching and not just counselling it will give you more to choose from.
I have been working on my breathing and you are right, it does help! And I am taking baby steps in dealing with the agoraphobia. I've gone from going out the door to walk to the garden and literally freezing in my tracks after taking a few steps and urgently scrambling back inside, to going out to the driveway to take out the garbage, which I think is something good. I must admit though that I havent been going out everyday and I will take your advice and make it a point to do it.
Its good that your sister is helping by doing the grocery shopping.
Hugs back to you!
Sometimes it takes counseling, as well, to help us find out who we are because we get so lost in the caregiver identity. I'd really suggest that you look at some counseling. It likely wouldn't take you more than a few sessions to help you back on track.
Good luck,
Carol