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Olive, before you get too far into this, try to work out the reason for the POA’s views.
1) Do your visits upset your mother? Do you get her agitated about your sister? Do you have a past relationship with mother that hasn’t been good? Any of these things may justify your sister’s decision, particularly if the facility has been able to see poor results after previous visits. There is no point in trying for legal intervention if this is what will come up.
2) Are you concerned that your sister is managing to exploit your mother, get gifts from her, get her to change her will, or anything along those lines. If that’s the issue, what has she told the facility to justify her actions? See if you can find out, perhaps by making an appointment to talk it through with the facility manager. At the same time, make sure that the facility has actually seen the POA document. They really ought to have a photocopy. Sometimes they don’t exist!
3) It’s probable that you don’t get on well with your sister, and after all your mother chose her, not you, to be POA. Is there any way that you can improve this relationship first. A joint meeting with a counselor, or with a family member that you both trust, could be a big help. Be willing to offer compromises – a visit with someone else present, or time limited, or only once a fortnight, might go down better than just demanding that the prohibition stops altogether.
Think about this as something similar to contested visits with a child from the non-custodial parent (something I know about from personal experience). Don’t go in with all guns blazing, pushing ‘your rights’. That may be how you feel, but it is not likely to help you or your mother. Best wishes, Margaret
I agree with other responses that there is a compelling reason why you are being blocked -- and you're only giving us one side of the story. Most of the time it is because the blocked party is interfering with the care that the PoA is attempting to put into place. Often this is due to the blocked party not fully understanding the degree of need or type of help that the LO requires and is therefore convinced they have a legitimate reason to run interference. Sometimes it is because the LO has expressed desperation or dismay and wants to be "rescued". You should know that if your LO has cognitive decline and memory impairment, they very likely are not telling you an accurate story of what's going on and why. Many people have fears of facilities that are not fair or accurate. Sometimes blocked parties are reacting to a "promise" to never put their LO in a facility.
I'm sorry for the dismay that this situation is causing for you but I agree with MJ1929 that if you're not the PoA your only recourse is to pursue guardianship, which will cost you a lot of money and if you don't have a compelling case you will still lose. May you receive wisdom so that you don't worsen the relationship with your sister, and gain peace in your heart at her solution for your LO.
This is a question asked often on this forum. IMO POA does not give the assigned person the right to block someone from seeing the principle without just cause.
Do you undermind the POA in anyway. Like telling ur LO that the POA should not be doing this or that? Are you questioning the POA about how they are handling things? Are you bothering staff about this or that. If so, this is not your right. They answer to ur LO or the POA. If you have a question about something, then you bring it to the POAs attn.
If this is just being vindictive on the assigns part, IMO, this does not give the assigned the right to cut off your visitation. The person is LOs representative and does what LO would want. If LO wants to see you, the assigned needs to allow it.
A bit more info might help. In another question you asked what is APS. Is your sister telling you that if you try to visit they will contact APS? If your visits upset mom the POA can prohibit visits. If you upset mom or other residents when you did go there then the facility has a valid reason for not allowing you to visit. And they are following the mandate of the POA. If you think that sister is keeping you from visiting for no reason you could attempt to obtain Guardianship but this is an expensive process and not one to take on lightly. And if your sister is doing everything properly I doubt that you would get Guardianship. What you can do is try to mend the rift that caused this. Ask if you can have monitored visits. this could be with your sister present or some other person that is neutral.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Why you aren't welcome to visit? Does Sis think you cause trouble or upset Mom?
If you think your sister is not looking out for your mom's best interests, then contact a lawyer and go for a guardianship for your mom.
1) Do your visits upset your mother? Do you get her agitated about your sister? Do you have a past relationship with mother that hasn’t been good? Any of these things may justify your sister’s decision, particularly if the facility has been able to see poor results after previous visits. There is no point in trying for legal intervention if this is what will come up.
2) Are you concerned that your sister is managing to exploit your mother, get gifts from her, get her to change her will, or anything along those lines. If that’s the issue, what has she told the facility to justify her actions? See if you can find out, perhaps by making an appointment to talk it through with the facility manager. At the same time, make sure that the facility has actually seen the POA document. They really ought to have a photocopy. Sometimes they don’t exist!
3) It’s probable that you don’t get on well with your sister, and after all your mother chose her, not you, to be POA. Is there any way that you can improve this relationship first. A joint meeting with a counselor, or with a family member that you both trust, could be a big help. Be willing to offer compromises – a visit with someone else present, or time limited, or only once a fortnight, might go down better than just demanding that the prohibition stops altogether.
Think about this as something similar to contested visits with a child from the non-custodial parent (something I know about from personal experience). Don’t go in with all guns blazing, pushing ‘your rights’. That may be how you feel, but it is not likely to help you or your mother. Best wishes, Margaret
I'm sorry for the dismay that this situation is causing for you but I agree with MJ1929 that if you're not the PoA your only recourse is to pursue guardianship, which will cost you a lot of money and if you don't have a compelling case you will still lose. May you receive wisdom so that you don't worsen the relationship with your sister, and gain peace in your heart at her solution for your LO.
Do you undermind the POA in anyway. Like telling ur LO that the POA should not be doing this or that? Are you questioning the POA about how they are handling things? Are you bothering staff about this or that. If so, this is not your right. They answer to ur LO or the POA. If you have a question about something, then you bring it to the POAs attn.
If this is just being vindictive on the assigns part, IMO, this does not give the assigned the right to cut off your visitation. The person is LOs representative and does what LO would want. If LO wants to see you, the assigned needs to allow it.
In another question you asked what is APS. Is your sister telling you that if you try to visit they will contact APS?
If your visits upset mom the POA can prohibit visits.
If you upset mom or other residents when you did go there then the facility has a valid reason for not allowing you to visit. And they are following the mandate of the POA.
If you think that sister is keeping you from visiting for no reason you could attempt to obtain Guardianship but this is an expensive process and not one to take on lightly. And if your sister is doing everything properly I doubt that you would get Guardianship.
What you can do is try to mend the rift that caused this. Ask if you can have monitored visits. this could be with your sister present or some other person that is neutral.