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We found about about this last year, when we obtained a POA. could not understand why they had no money ( my dad has severe dementia) and she confessed to sending him over 1000.00 a month.


To keep the peace, we agreed to send him 500.00 a month( now documented)


I am concerned what will happen when she files for medicaid.


Right now, its fine because my father has a decent pension, but when he passes, her income will require her to need state assistance,


I dont want to get into trouble for sending these checks to him( from her accounts)

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This needs to stop immediately
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Yes, it will if she is still giving it to him during the look back period. Here in GA it is 5 years.
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Yes. And you can imagine why. The money of an elder is saved by them and should be for their own care, not to pay a child's rent because that child is living beyond his or her means. I am putting a grandson through college with his other grandmother. Were I to need medicaid in the lookback time of 2 1/2 years (California) that money would be considered a "gift", which in fact it is. The taxpayer at large should not have to pay for ME because I want to assist a Grandson through college. So yes, many states have a 5 year look back. This need to stop and the sooner the better if the Senior is thinking there is going to have to be governmental help. Of course it is unlikely that the son will then be there to help to the tune of 1,000 a month.
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worriedinCali Sep 2019
On the flip side, as a tax payer do you really feel you are not entitled to use the programs you’ve help fund for years Alva? As a tax payer, I would have no problem with you paying for your grandchildren’s higher education and then going on medi-cal. Education funds are actually one way to shield assets......
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Just hope your dad doesn’t pass in the next 2.5 to 5 years because your mother won’t qualify for Medicaid. The gifting needs to stop now IF you expect either of your parents to need Medicaid in the next 5 years. You never know what will happen, one or both could end up needing to be in a nursing home and unless your dads pension is upwards of $13k a month, Medicaid will be necessary. A nursing home will likely run $10k+ a month and the other spouse will still need money to live off of.
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Mom or someone will have to pay for her nursing home care equal the amount of money she has given - gifted - to her son during the “look back” period of time applicable to her specific states requirements. After that amount is paid out of pocket by mom or someone - then she would be considered Medicaid eligible. Providing of course, that she meets all the other specifications as well.

Sonnys free ride and moms open wallet both need to stop - like yesterday!
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Just a suggestion.

You better check to make sure Mom is survivor on Dads pension. Is so, she probably will only get 50% or less of it. Also, less SS.

There really should be a basic class on Medicaid when we retire.
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lauriecat Sep 2019
Hi Joann, she is not. That is another problem. she will have an income of 950.00 when he passes.
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This is a problem I have with the whole system. People don't realize they are doing anything wrong (gifting) until it is too late. Most people aren't trying to beat the system, they are just trying to help someone else out not realizing that things could dramatically change for them.

My father helped a grandchild out with college. At the time he lived on his own and his SS covered his living expenses. He also had a very healthy bank balance so helping with college only put a small dent in that. Then he had surgery and went downhill fast. He wanted to go to AL. So he went from $1000 a month in rent to $4500 a month in rent. Then he needed 'additional help'. That brought the monthly bill up to $7000 a month. No one could have imagined that prior to him going into AL. We were ignorant about the whole system. That healthy balance is getting depleted very fast and I worry he won't make the 5 year look back. That gifted money was spent and is not going to get returned.

Yes there should be a basic class on Medicaid when one retires.
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OK, folks an new problem.
She absolutely refuses to stop sending the Money.She told me its her Money, she can do as she wishes with it.
We are going to an attorney, because I am concerned because my name is all over this. Can we resolved a POA? Would the government step in to evaluate her ability to make decisions?
They have very little saved, but she is going to need it when he passes.
has anyone had this awful experience?
Sick and disgusted that she is being pray don by her own son.
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anonymous912123 Sep 2019
So common with people of that generation, especially women with their sons, they enable the chosen one.

I agree, go the attorney, lay it out, see what can be done. My brother and I just took away his step mother's credit cards, debit cards and now are going for guardianship due to her dementia and having a felon for a son, who keeps tapping her for money. Her husband is in agreement, he wants us to do this, he is 90 and in very poor health, so he knows that his days are numbered. We have their POA's but we need more.
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I would imagine there are many many folks in the same or similar situation. and I don't think its as cut and dry as far as gifting and being automatically denied Medicaid. I would imagine there are many seniors who don't know gifting rules and have given family members money. For many or most that is their desire, they want to leave something to their loved ones. I'd imagine many of those were approved for Medicaid after giving small amounts of money over time. The ones that get denied tend to be the ones that transferred property over or gave away a large sum (many thousands of dollars) at once. A lot likely depends on the state and case worker as well I guess.
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Unless she can document that all that money was paid to him for taking care of her (pretty impossible since he has not lived with her), then yes...she will be denied Medicaid until that same amount of money has been spent for her care or the 5 year look back period expires.

explain to her that yes it is her money...but getting welfare (Medicaid is welfare) from the taxpayers is based only on the person being unable to pay for themselves....not because they gave their money away, but based on an honest need.

tell her to leave it to him in her will...but, she may need that money some day and he had better be prepared to pay it back or bring her to live at his house for 5 years.
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Would do any good to tell both your mother and her leech... er... son that since he was the receipiant of the gifted money, Medicaid will come after him to get that money back?

It may be stretching the truth a bit -
but would leecher... er... son be in any position to know different? While you’re stretching the truth you might even say that they will garnish his paycheck if leecher ... er ... son has a job. Tell him you’ve consulted an attorney.

Since your mother wont or cant recognize the seriousness of the situation - maybe try going at it from a different angle. While it’s probably a looooong shot just maybe sonny can be made to see the seriousness of this all and even if your mother continues to send money he will not cash the check(s).
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lauriecat Sep 2019
LOL- its terrible to even think someone would do this to their mother.
We are making an appointment with an Elder lawyer for her, and he can't explain it to her. Leech-son is not speaking to us since we found out.
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Suggest that your mom talk with an elder law attorney in her home state, so she can continue to stay in the least restrictive living setting (such as her own home).

Your role as POA makes you responsible for disbursing substantial amounts of her money to your brother. It wasn't clear from your question whether your brother is living with your parents. Future Medicaid eligibility will at minimum be complicated by the payments you describe, and at worst could be found to be disqualifying transfers that you are responsible for.
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Suggest that your mom talk with an elder law attorney in her home state, to talk about ways she can continue to stay in the least restrictive living setting (such as her own home).

Your role as POA makes you responsible for disbursing substantial amounts of her money to your brother. It wasn't clear from your question whether your brother is living with your parents. Future Medicaid eligibility will at minimum be complicated by the payments you describe, and at worst could be found to be disqualifying transfers that you are responsible for.
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kdcm1011 Sep 2019
Could you please elaborate on the “you are responsible” part? Does that mean the POA is personally responsible for coming up with the funds to cover the portion Medicaid will not cover? Thank you in advance.
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I think the bank statements will reveal the $1000 checks & the $500 ones. Your brother will have to repay it somehow I think, or medicaid won't cover mom until after a 'penalty period' for having gifted cash like that. Go to the medicaid website in your state, it has Q&A that are helpful.
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Don't try to use 529 accounts to protect assets. The deposits to these accounts, by grandparents with the best intentions, would be considered gifting. CalifornIa is very different than most states and by any means is not the norm.

https://www.elderlawanswers.com/529-plan-assets-can-collide-with-medicaid-eligibility-2299
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worriedinCali Sep 2019
You do know that no one suggested the OP use 529 accounts right? She’s not trying to protect assets here. And the person I made the 529 comment to is in california btw and I wasn’t suggested she use them either. It was a hypothetical question. And btw 529s can be used in multiple states to protect assets, not just California. I don’t even know if they can be used in this state ;)
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