My 93-year-old mother has been scammed twice. She doesn't know how much money she has in her account except what bank tells her. She can't write and has others in assisted living write her checks. She has stock, but is not aware of how much. Are my brothers and I responsible to take care of her if she runs out of money?
In the case of any aid from governmental programs such as medicaid there will be lookback of anywhere from 2 1/2 years (California) to 5 years on mom's finances. She will need her records to apply and if it is looking like she squandered and "gifted" funds she will not get coverage.
As to the family being responsible certain states have what are called "filial laws" in which family can be held responsible for helping with bills of the elder. These laws are almost NEVER implemented, and would only be in the cases of wealthy wealthy children. I cannot find anywhere a recent case where these laws were used.
I certainly would not trust "strangers" (read that as non family members and or AL staff) to write checks and have access to her bank account information.
I would suggest that if you are her POA you stop this ASAP.
If you are her POA for finances you should have access to all her account information including Stocks, Bonds....
If your mother has dementia it may be to late to get her to assign POA. You or a sibling, if you want it, may have to obtain Guardianship.
If no one wants Guardianship and she is not competent then the Court will appoint a Guardian. At that point the court appointed Guardian will take over the health and financial aspect of her care.
As far as you being responsible for hands on care, absolutely not. Ideally you will want to get POA, apply her for Medicaid and place her in a long term care facility.
Then you are somewhat overseeing her care. If you don't get POA and access to her money though, none of that is possible. Social worker may at that point urge you to file for guardianship, but you don't have to do that if you don't want to (that also costs money). If you don't, at that point, she will likely be given over to the State and the state will have complete control over where she lives and is not obligated to include you in anything.
But to answer your question if you and your brothers are responsible, no you are not. If you don't get involved though, you will have no control over what becomes of mom.
No, you will not be responsible for her care. Even with filial laws, a child will not be impoverished to care for a parent. Very few States even have these laws and are writing them off the books because they are pre-Medicaid.
The scam should be reported to the police so its on record. Are you estranged from Mom? Does anyone have POA because I too don't think its smart to have checks where they can be stolen or credit cards. If Mom has any metal decline, someone should at least have the ability to pay her bills.
When she starts running out of money then Medicaid is applied for. See if her State Medicaid will pay after she pays privately for 2 yrs and if her AL excepts Medicaid. The AL director should be able to give you that info. If she can't remain at the AL, then its Medicaid in Long-term facility or a Board and Care. Application has to be done when she only has enough money for 2 or 3 months.
You and your brothers need to hire an Elder Law Attorney (with her funds) to get guidance on planning Mom's future as a person without funds........bring her bank statements (make everything autopay) and ask for help in applying for Medicaid,
Nobody has to accept power of attorney, but if you have done then you have accepted a duty to use it. Your brother seems to have missed that bit. It may not make him liable for supporting your mother if she runs out of money but it will leave him with a lot of explaining to do as to why he didn't intervene. Why won't he?
I am so tired of old people giving money to scammers. And when adult children try to help they are viewed by the same senior as trying to scam them.
Filial laws are not enforceable. Your mother doesnt get to squander her money and then the state steps in and forces you pay for her care and living expenses. Nope. Sorry not happening.
Prayers
The POA should always sign the person’s name not their own name except to add “by (POA name), POA/Agent
I have heard stories of payments being solicited from family members. Anything is possible I suppose but I don’t see how it could possibly be legal to try to hold family members responsible for expenses incurred by another family member unless they are a married couple. Under that scenario a long lost financially irresponsible brother who winds up in a facility could financially ruin his/her siblings? Not happening.
Just to be prepared find out if her current facility takes Medicaid and if they will oversee the process of applying for it should she get to that point. You may find they don’t have Medicaid beds or that she will need to move to another section and these are things that may be good to remind her of if there are times that she’s making bad financial moves. It’s a choice.
While her children aren’t legally responsible for her financially usually children want what is best for their elderly parents and at least try to take on some responsibility for helping them get the safest, best care in their final years. I may have overstepped or assumed here in getting into the things you can do to help rather than just answer your question, if so my apologies. Good luck!
While I respect the opinion being made by some of those commenting that you have no responsibility, the fact you are asking the question indicates you are very concerned, as you should be. I would have never allowed someone else to have control over my mom's finances.
I suggest you discuss the situation with an attorney pronto to see if any charges are warranted against those involved in scamming your mom. I would also touch base with your state/county office for the aging and county dept. of social services, regarding your state's Medicaid process. Good luck.
Please make a group appointment with an Elder Law Attorney.
I had to take away her credit cards and check book as she spent money in unbelievable ways. If I hadn't, she would have run out of money immediately. If your mother is spending unnecessary money or being scammed, you need to take action as it is easy to spend or give away money.
If she is about to run out if money then you can apply for Medicaid.
my Mom is about to run out of long term care insurance and will be private pay. Thankfully she has savings but at $8250 a month and family longevity on her side I may be in the same position one day
Depends on the state your mom lives in. Some states have a requirement that children must financially support their parents if the parents are financially insecure. Google your question and the list of states will be available. I know PA has this rule, but NY does not. Good Luck.
You need to figure out how many bank accounts she has, get your name on them either as payable upon death to you or to sign checks for her - don't let others write checks for her. Another scam could come up. You also need to find out what stocks she has. I would think if you could find her IRS records, that would be a good trail to locate everything.
In Texas, if she spends her money (savings and stocks) down to under $2000, she would probably qualify for Medicaid and a Nursing Home bed. Of course that would depend on how much monthly income she has left. If her monthly income is enough right now to pay for assisted living, she probably has enough monthly income to pay for a nursing home without having to apply for Medicaid.
It sounds like you may not know very much about her finances, so best to become educated so that you can talk to an elder atty to find out what needs to be done for her.