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She is only 54 she is still young in my opinion for this to be happening. She starting to forget a lot of things. Things she would cook she has forgotten how to cook certain things to the point she doesn’t look like she used to. She also the same questions over and over. She can’t explain herself properly and she forgets her words. If she has a conversation with someone as soon as the conversation is over, she is more than likely going to forget what was said. She seems to be in panic mode a lot. She still works as of now, but I don’t know if she is going to be able to continue because she is a cashier. She can still drive and everything. She has had a lot of stressful events in her life, and she doesn’t deal with life situations very well and I’m not sure if those situations could have caused this. Sometimes she does okay, and you would think everything is going to be fine then other times it’s like she is getting worse. She has a 15-year-old son and today he had a dentist appointment. She didn’t even remember what the dentist said about his teeth and future appointments, and I had to call the myself to get the information. I also had to call and make the appointment because she can’t use her words or find the right words. I’m worried because I don’t know what life is going to be like for her 6 months to a year from now. The doctors did a MRI of her brain back in November but she has not had a follow up appointment yet she had one on February 12 but they said they had to reschedule. I’m going to call her doctors myself to setup an appointment. I’m concerned is there something that can be done to give her a better quality of life or at least manage the symptoms because she is not that old? This is really stressing me I’m not ready to lose her mentally. A lot of times I must explain things to her over and over and over and she still does not understand, and she gets mad with me. It’s like she is still herself, but she is not herself if that makes sense. The other night she asked her 15-year-old son did he want some food and I told her he had already eaten and before the night was over, she had asked this same question 3 or 4 times and this is something she does at times repeat questions over and over. Is there any hope or is this going to be lifelong situation?

Has she been checked for a UTI, as often that can present as mental decline as well? That would be my first go to.
But if that checks out fine, then it is very possible that your mother has what is called early onset Alzheimer's, and sadly there is absolutely nothing at this point and time that will stop it or slow it down.
And the sad thing about early onset Alzheimer's is that it can go on for 20+ years, so I would suggest that you have your mother get all her legal ducks in a row,( i.e. POA's, Will, MOST or POLST forms etc.)
A man in my caregivers support group, lost his wife this past July, and she had early onset Alzheimer's for 21 years. She was diagnosed in her late 50's.
Make sure that her doctor(neurologist)is made aware of everything that is going on with her, even if you have to contact them via the patient portal or by handing the nurse a note prior to her appointment so you don't have to talk about her in front of her.
And if diagnosed with Alzheimer's, please DO NOT let her continue to drive and put all those innocent people on the road in harms way of a woman driving with a demented brain. God forbid she hit and kill or seriously injure someone. If the police found out that she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, she could literally lose everything if a lawsuit were to be filed against her.
You are in for a very long and hard road if in fact your mother has Alzheimer's, and my heart goes out to you and your family. Please educate yourself as much as you can about the disease so you will be better prepared for what lies ahead.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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You need to get her in for a complete physical and blood work. Stress can cause these symptoms but, so can other things besides alzheimers or dementia.

This is really a situation for medical care.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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An accurate diagnosis is the start of helping her.

You may need to help her to do this, given how she is unable to manage things right now. Like funkygrandma59 suggested, she could have a UTI, a thyroid problem, vitamin deficiency, dehydration, diabetes, stroke, tumor, etc. All these can create dementia-like symptoms and are mostly treatable. Not being able to find the right words or apply them properly is called aphasia, and can be caused by TIAs.

If your Mom takes prescription medications (think for thyroid, opioids for pain, sleeping pills, depression meds) is it possible she is under- or over-medicating herself? Check her medicine cabinet and count pills, since she may not be remembering if and when she took them.

Dementia is usually diagnosed by discounting all other causes. Alzheimers is a form of dementia that one can get very early in life (my friend's Mom was diagnosed at 58, which mean she had it long before her symptoms were undeniable). A neurologist can do a brain scan to see changes in her brain, but I would start with her primary physician to discount all other possibilities.

You need to actually be in her exam room with her to take notes and give her doctor accurate answers to the questions they will ask her. At that clinic, ask for the HIPAA Medical Representative form and write your name in and have her sign it. This way her medical team can legally discuss her private medical information with you without her having to be present or give permission. If she's forgetful, this will be critical -- they won't talk to you otherwise, unless she's present.

And yes, your Mom needs to get her legal ducks in a row now while she still can if it turns out she does have ALZ. There is a drug called Aricept that has shown some effectiveness in slowing down the progress of ALZ but it only works for a short time and doesn't always work for everyone.
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In addition to the good answers you have already received here, have her doctor review her medications. Sometimes a single medication that is not agreeing with the patient can wreak havoc.
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When making her doctor's apointment, aske if you can share your concerns with them, before coming in. Bring a list of changes and when they started, to the appointment that you've seen in your mother. Be prepared for her to deny all or some of it. If they tell you the MRI is "inconclusive" about any possible changes, then ask for a CAT scan with contrast to be done. Ask them if her insurance covers this-they should know.
"It's like she is still herself but she is not herself" makes perfect sense to me. My husband has dementia. He seems like the same person, but not really anymore. There are times when he's almost his old self and able to have a conversation. Other times, that's impossible, and that's becoming a lot more frequent. He can't work, can't drive.
Dementia caregivers do worry about how the disease will be like in the future. What will it look like this time next year? Cause last year it was not as bad, does that mean there will be drastic changes this year? No one knows. No one, until it has progressed to a severity that they're totally incapacitated.
Of course until you know what's going on, the behaviors may be treatable. If you're not satisfied with the doctors seeing her, get a second opinion. Especially if you're in a rural area.
Keep us updated. There is a lot of great advice here.
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In addition to your good descriptions of word searching and forgetfulness you will need to give the doctors as clear, concise and honed down list as you can of how long ago this started.

This could be a panic/anxiety disorder or some sort of mental illness, but you are correct that it sounds most like some dementia, and it would be, if so, a very very early onset.

You are going to need a neuro-psyc evaluation. This is beyond a normal regular MD, but that regular MD is where you need to start to urine testing and blood panel.
I agree with others to have all medications and supplements listed for the MD.

I hope you will update us after her evaluation. And I surely do wish you the best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Please read this book:

The end of Alzheimer’s by Dale Bredesen
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You need to get POA on your mom. Sounds like she definitely has something going on, but it could be a lot of things. Medications can cause dementia like symptoms. Will your mom let you go to the doctors appt with her? Then you can let the doctor know what has been going on and hear the results of the testing ordered. Check for UTI, medication interactions, early onset dementia, etc.
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Reply to Jamesj
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Get her to a Dr and you go with. Get a diagnosis…could be early onset dementia…could be something else. But get her diagnosis first.

It sounds like dementia, but people on this forum cannot diagnose her. Get to a Dr. so you know. Once you know what the diagnosis is, then get her finances in order (see an elder care attorney, just as Dr must diagnose, an elder care arrives can advise on finances, get you POA, guardian for your 15 yr old brother, etc). Yes, even though she is not “elderly” that’s the right attorney. Also, once you have diagnosis, and know where she stands financially, then you can start making care arrangements, whether in home or assisted living or
whatever. And care for your younger brother too.

Lots to digest. Just start with diagnosis. Go with her to appt so she remembers, and you know what the Dr is saying.

To answer your question, if it is dementia, there’s no getting better. It will be lifelong for your entire family to cope with. Your mom is probably scared and rightfully so. Please find out what you are dealing with.
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She needs to see a nurrologist and get a cognitive exam and complete work up - you should go to her doctors with her . Very Scary for the 15 year old teenager. The Lady should get on Disability and apply - could have been a stroke - maybe a urinary Tract infection - lots of great advice on this forum - So sorry this is happening - please get a medical opinion .
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Reply to KNance72
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To be honest she shouldn’t be driving .
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Your poor mom! This has to be so hard for your whole family (especially the 15-year-old son). I agree with the comments about seeing a neurologist, but first she needs a checkup with a doctor who will go over all of her medications and do extensive blood work. Many medications (OTC and well as prescriptions) are anticholinergic so they will make the brain less responsive. For some people, this can carry over into confusion and forgetfulness. Thyroid issues as well as other bodily functions can also create dementia symptoms for some people. I'm not trying to give false hope since there's a good chance that this is early on-set Alzheimer's or another form of early dementia. That said, a thorough checkup should be done. Then, most likely, a visit to a neurologist is indicated for extensive testing. Best wishes and a huge hug.
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Reply to Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF
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cwillie Feb 15, 2024
Wonderful to see you posting here again!
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The first thing that needs to be done is to get an accurate diagnosis.
There are other conditions that can cause some of the same symptoms as dementia.
The next VERY important thing to do is to consult with an Elder Care Attorney. (I know mom is not "elder" but the need is there)
There are a LOT of things that need to be done so that the family is protected. Since mom is not of Medicare age there might be problems down the road.
Someone is going to have to be the one to make decisions for her and someone will have to care for her child(ren) if there is no husband / father in the picture.

Once the brain has been damaged rarely will there be a reversal. If the condition that has caused damage is corrected the brain may be able to compensate, relearn and create new pathways. That will not happen if it is some form of dementia.
There are medications that can slow the progression. I have heard of a new infusion that is very promising. If there are any clinical trials in your area it might be worth checking them out. Contact the Alzheimer's Association the 24/7 help line is 800-272-3900

I hope your mom has you listed on her HIPAA forms so that you can get information. You can give info but if you are not listed they can not tell you anything about her condition.
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TheWifeTGM Feb 16, 2024
Grandma1954, I would not jump immediately to POA, "damaged brain". There are so many physical issues that should be ruled out first. As some have mentioned, menopause-been there and know it can affect memory and thought processes. It passes in time, but each person is different and what I may experience during menopause can be totally different than another. Thyroid imbalance, especially Hypothyroidism can cause memory issues, forgetfulness, difficulty processing information and is easily treated. IF, all physical causes have been ruled out, THEN she should be evaluated for dementia, and if dementia, what type and what treatment options are available. Then and only then should discussion of POA for medical and/or financial assistance. As a nurse of 40 years (critical care, now Nursing Professor) I'd add there are different forms for medical POA and financial POA. If daughter has medical POA and Mom is deemed unable to make decisions, daughter will be asked to be decision maker. But, if Mom cannot make her decisions, and even without a POA, daughter (unless Mom has a husband) would still be the decision maker if she is the adult next in line to Mom. No need to be listed on "HIPAA forms".
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Here's an off the wall question - because it will not likely make any sense. But I guess anything is possible.

Has she gone through menopause yet?

I know that sounds insane - and your description sounds like quite a bit more - but it's worth looking into if she has not yet gone through it.

I actually scheduled an appointment to talk to my doctor about early onset dementia when I was about 47. I honestly thought I was losing my mind. I couldn't remember if I was coming or going most days. I forgot words - I looked at DH one day and told him to "hand me the sharp, pointy thing that you write with" because I couldn't remember the word pencil. I had to cancel a work meeting one day because I could not remember the leader code for my bridgeline- that I used nearly every single day, multiple times, for years. DH found the milk in the pantry, the apples in the freezer, the soup cans in the fridge after a grocery trip one day.

I am not saying this is what is going on with your mom - regardless it necessitates a visit to the doctor.

When I went for my appointment I described what was happening and he asked me if we had checked my hormones. Quick test and it was very clear I was in menopause.

She could potentially be in early on set, she could be having other panic disorders, she could have anything going on realistically at 54.

Wishing you the best.
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waytomisery Feb 15, 2024
Check Thyroid levels also .
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Grandma is correct.
The first thing is diagnosis.
This could be anything from Anxiety with panic disorder to a glioblastoma of the brain.

Time to insist she see an MD.
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Oldest1958 Feb 15, 2024
Even a UTI
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Make an appointment with a neurologist. You can’t do anything until you have a diagnosis. When my brother was in the early stages of what ultimately turned out to be glioblastoma I framed it as looking for help to find out what’s wrong. At this point he knew he was forgetting a lot of the time. The Alzheimer Association told me to get a diagnosis and a POA.

I told my brother a POA let people know he gives me permission to do things for like banking, getting him to doctors and financial and health decisions. Get POA as soon as possible—even before the first doctors’s appointment—for health and finances. You’re going to be the one driving the bus now and POA will make life far easier for everyone everywhere—doctors, etc.
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learn about dementia with Teepa Snow.
Go to her website.
purchase 1-2 of her books.
Do her webinars (as i did for 1-1/5 years)

Educating yourself on what dementia is - and how to communicate / interact with a person inflicted will help you a lot. it is very sad that your mom is going through this at such a young age. my heart goes out to you.
Remember to take care of yourself while managing this challenge.
Be kind and compassionate. (not that you aren't already)
Dealing with dementia is learning a new language (communication)

Depends on situation and brain changes:
She may get 'mad' at you / frustrated / confused. This is not personal towards you, it is how her brain is changing - and the confusion (and fear) that brings up.

Remember that she still FEELS a lot and responds to smiles, kindness, respect, touch. Be aware of your tone of voice (soft), make eye contact. You can learn a lot of this 'compassionate' behavior on Teepa's website. She's a wealth of information (as are her You Tubes).

Tell her you love her.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Also I'd have her tested for lyme deasses, just to rule out
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graygrammie Feb 15, 2024
I think of Kris Kristoferson's story. They thought he had dementia and it turned out to be Lyme.
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I'm very sorry to hear about your mother's situation at such a young age. See her doctors to follow-up for a complete evaluation. I hope it's not dementia or Alzheimer's. If it is, get her treatment as early as possible to minimize symptoms.
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There are so many types and reasons dementia that it is often misdiagnosed then treated ineffectively. Even if you have to travel some distance, you may want to try to find a neuropsychologist for an evaluation and testing. (One time appointment.) Before making an appointment, you may want to ask if and how you or another family member will be included. Usually a family member answers questions (and asks questions) before the testing then leaves the room. "Ideally", immediately after they are given an overall first impression report in person from the neuropsychologist as well as receive a written report later. There are some providers that seem to think it is enough to send a written report to the referring doctor but then you are getting info second handed. Some dementias, once identified, can be resolved or at least improved with medication changes, diet changes, or other toxic influences removed.

However you proceed, it may become important someone accompanies her to appointments. I learned with my husband that he only knew how he felt on the inside and I only knew how he looked and acted on the outside. We both learned new things hearing how the other answered questions because neither of us were wrong. It often takes both views to give a provider the complete picture to make a true diagnosis... especially when symptoms seem to come and go.
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There can be a lot of different reasons this dear lady is having memory problems. She needs a thorough medical work-up to rule out all the possible causes - and to treat the ones that are diagnosed. If she does have early onset dementia, there are medications that work to help sharpen her memory in the early stages. Help her to get those medical appointments, any testing, and follow-up so she can live her best life for as long as possible.
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TheWifeTGM Feb 16, 2024
I agree with Taarna. There are many conditions or issues that can cause memory loss or impairment. She should get a full work-up with her primary care provider first. Labs and evaluation of her physical issues, if any. Anemia, Thyroid disorders, electrolyte imbalances, UTI (urinary tract infection) or any infection actually, Vitamin deficiency, medications, even over the counter (OTC) meds can sometimes cause mental issues such as forgetfulness, confusion. Head injury, low O2 saturation ( does she smoke?), cardiac insufficiency due to high BP or other untreated cardiac related issues, menopause and hormone imbalances. I could go on but will just say that at 54 she is young to be having these memory problems and there could be a physical reason for it that can be treated.
If, after a physical work-up is completed, her primary provider should then refer her to a neurologist who could then look for possible causes of memory loss or dementia. There are many types of dementia and depending on the type, certain treatments or medications can be helpful. Although a cure may not be possible with dementia, there are treatments that can improve her function and lifestyle.
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Dinisha2024: It is imperative that she see her physician for a diagnosis of the suspected dementia.
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@cwillie - great memory! It's wonderful to see YOU (still) here. :-)
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Reply to Carol Bradley Bursack, CDSGF
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She needs -as others have mentioned- to get a full work up done.

You can help on this by doing a bullet point type of listing of specific items that are “disconnects”. You want to try to get this done asap for a lot of reasons and there’s 1 biggie that probably hasn’t been considered: if she is able to get thru SSDI and get declared disabled and her now 15 year old is still under age 19 and still in High School at the time, he can be able to get for himself up to 50% of your moms rate via SS dependent child support system. The amount will be based on moms own SSA and it’s usually a % of hers.

For those older parents getting SSA retirement income that still have dependents, it’s 50% of their now retired parent who is drawing SS retirement income. & it too will pay till they turn 19 pr graduate from High School whichever occurs first. The dependent of one on SSDI is similar. Getting this $ will make a difference as she will not be working, and it will be $ to pay for things he needs as the $ can only be used for his needs. It will not affect her own SSDI payout.

fwiw my guess is she has primary progressive aphasia. That “at a loss for words” and the complete disconnect in doing what was once easy step-by-step activities like following the sequence on a recipe or doing laundry now a causes them to freeze up or total befuddlement. To be in your 50s and get aphasia happens. Aphasia is not dementia but a different type of brain disorder.
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MyNameIsTrouble Feb 16, 2024
To add to Igloo572's great information, SS+dependent gets locked in at time of SS application minus the requisite waiting period. Diagnosis in hand sooner rather than later is a better option when it comes to SSA policies/procedures.
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Here is a copy paste from the book "Dementia Care Companion":

Is It Really Dementia?
There currently is no cure for most types of dementia. However, certain types of dementia, and certain disorders that resemble dementia in their symptoms, are treatable. It is important to seek medical diagnosis as soon as possible, since many of these conditions, if left untreated, can progress to the point of no return. 

Pseudodementia
Pseudodementia is not dementia, in that it is not due to neurological degeneration. Rather, it has its roots in psychiatric disorders that have symptoms similar to dementia. The term “pseudodementia” is often used as a descriptive term for the symptoms associated with depression and other mood-related disorders, especially in advanced age. Unlike dementia, in which the course of the illness is progressive, pseudodementia is potentially reversible by treatment.
·        People with pseudodementia are usually fearful of their declining cognitive function, while people with dementia tend to be less concerned about it and may even deny that they have a problem.
·        A person with Alzheimer’s disease usually has short-term memory problems, while in pseudodementia, usually both short- and long-term memory are impaired.
·        Persons with pseudodementia are less cooperative with their doctors and tend to score better on psychiatric tests than expected. In contrast, persons with dementia tend to be more cooperative with their doctors and score lower than expected.
·        A patient with pseudodementia is more likely to answer “I don’t know” to questions in cognitive tests administered by a doctor.
·        Compared to patients with dementia, patients with pseudodementia are better able to focus and pay attention, and rely less on their partners in answering their doctor’s questions.
·        Many patients with pseudodementia complain about memory loss, but patients with dementia usually do not have this complaint due to their lack of awareness of their impairment.
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Dinisha 2024,
I am sorry this is happening to your mother. There are very insightful and practical suggestions here.
I personally think it might be helpful for your mother to see a Cardiologist and Neurologist to rule out transient ischemic events that could also cause memory problems. I wish you the very best.
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Always answer her questions as if it were the first time she had asked it. She is asking these questions bc she doesn't remember asking it the first time. It will onIy get worse, I haven't found a doctor that takes an interest in anyone with this affliction. Learn that patience and compassion go together. It will have an end, don't be one of those who lives a life of regret bc you were unkind to your loved one. I've been unkind many times but I've apologized and moved on and become more understanding as time has gone on. She will reach a point to where she does not remember you or what you did or did not do. Enjoy her as much as you can while you have her. I love my wife more now than ever.
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Forgive me if this comes off rude, but you have asked pretty much this same question since Feb. I don't know how your Mom can hold down a job.

Did your Mom have a full physical. Labs especially. As said Menopause can do a number on some woman. Thyroid can cause big problems because it effects hormones in the body. Low Potassium caused my Dad to go into depression. She had an MRI, did you not get the results or was that the follow up appt.? Stress can do alot to a person. I so hope a UTI was one thing that was looked for. Lime desease can do a job too.

At this point, someone needs to be Moms advocate. Seems she can not handle everyday living. So, it needs to be you. You call the doctor and get her in for the results. You need answers because she has a 15 year old to raise. Dementia does not come on as fast as this. There is something going on.
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funkygrandma59 Jun 6, 2024
JoAnn, this post is from Feb. LOL!
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I Bumped into my cousin Last week and she told me " her Mom has something and can't use the remote , forgets words , etc. " Dementia - she is 82 and is a wonderful lady , has a loving Husband , 8 children, grand children. saddened me . The other daughter said " she is doing Ok . " but the One who Lives with her told me " I am Having to Label things and it is not helping and she can't tell the difference between the remote and Phone . " Ok this does not sound good ! I wrote her a letter to Please do acupuncture , get some shiatsu massages ( using acupuncture Points ) Eat Mushroom Gummies - I sent her some Lions Mane Mushrooms That can Be eaten , researched a bunch Of Lions Mane Gummies - found One with Cordyceps and Lions mane from North Carolina on Etsy . Some people swear by Lions Mane it Is a brain Food . Also CBD Can be helpful and reconnecting certain Nuero transmitters - I Like Happy Buddha Hemps Lavender Cream 2000 strength . I suggested she get a Ionizer foot bath to detox the Lymph Gland system - you would be surprised at what comes out of the feet . Sometimes holistic clinics have them - Look on Amazon . I May try and grow the Lions Mane Myself . MN NICE Ethnobotanicals Thats where I found the Lions Mane , it comes In tincture form also But I sent her the Brain Boost gummies from OneFungiLLC . Also suggested massage , cranial sacral therapy , Reiki and a community acupuncture clinic They have them in her town . I Myself may try Micro-dosing with Pscilocybin - a Lot of research is being done because Mushrooms can rewire the brain . Thats where I am Going to research Next because too many people are getting Dementia and It is really sad . eat brain food - Fish, walnuts, Blue berries , Lions Mane , avocados ( B Vitamins ) and seaweed . Study Meditation - Thomas Victor Carrol On Instagram and Quik silver , great teacher . Lavender oil is Healing and has a calming effect . Find a holistic center that offers free Reiki . You see when Western medicine doesnt work I go Eastern . One acupuncturist told me about Gamma Ray Therapy - I did not try it . I Could not get My dad to acupuncture either . Another scientist At George Washington University told me " she cured her dads Alzheimers using a Hulda clark Rife machine . " That was 20 years ago . Just start trying other holistic healing Modalitities . Shiatsu is easy to learn . have her do some Qi Gong exercises That will get the CHI Flowing - any exercises really , even stretching . Stay away from Pharmacueticals if you Can including Tylenol . Personally I dont do shots or vaccines . Limit the use of Benzodiazapams . ( Heavy Metals ) I Like My wine and occasional cigarette . As Long as you keep doing research and trying new things. I Really have benefited from acupuncture and Have to get back into it . Community acupuncture is sliding scale . So try and learn some new things . I am Impressed with MN NICE Ethnobotanicals Products . I am Hoping to see My Friend Ken who is a master at Crainial sacred therapy . My Funds are Limited. have her grow a garden . I met a fisherman and am going to ask him " If I can Buy some fresh fish from him. " Go Organic if you can. Cut Out white sugar , Processed foods , Meat , smoked meat , anything with Hormones . If she can try and do a macrobiotic diet that could help also ( Japanese diet ) brown rice, tofu, beans , seaweed and fish . I swim in the ocean as Much as Possible because I believe the brain absorbs Minerals from the ocean . So Thats a start for you .
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OMG, I did miss it. I usually catch them because they sound familiar. I saw that I never posted to this one, though. Either it slipped thru or I figured it had enough answers. Thanks guys.
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