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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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She says it's normal to be forgetful but in the last few months she has gotten worse. She got very angry at her first appointment with a neurologist yesterday. They said bring her back when she will cooperate. I think it's too late.
Dr. Dope doesn't know what he's doing. I would make up a therapeutic fib to get her to a different doctor (like: Medicare now requires an annual physical and it has to be from this NEW doctor). When there, hand doc a pre-written note describing your concerns about her and requesting a cognitive exam and check for UTI. A GOOD doc will do this, as was the doc who accommodated me when I took my MIL to have an assessment. An idiot doc will not, like the one she has now.
Thanks, everyone! I took everyone's advice. My brother is speaking to an attorney to start getting POA. He plans to take her car. My sister is getting her new hearing aids. She's lost 2 pair! And I was able to convince her PCM to try to include some memory assessment with her annual physical next week. Mom lives with my stepdad who is starting to suffer physically from the burden of her care so hopefully this will help. Thanks again.
The memory loss in itself isn't a problem. The problems are the difficulties that the memory loss leads to. For your mother, what are the main ones?
Put yourself in her shoes and it's easy to see why her temper might have frayed at the neurologist's office. Without very diplomatic handling, such appointments can lead to the person taking away a whole string of negative, offensive and above all false beliefs. The person can feel as though she is being told:
life as she knows it is over she is losing her mind everybody will now claim the right to treat her like a dim-witted infant she will soon be a drooling mess
She can feel as though she's being picked on and hauled up over every error, every lapse in memory or judgement, even those which do quite honestly occur in everybody's life throughout life.
So all in all - probably not the best day out she's had recently.
Next, think of the purpose(s) for which these tests are helpful. They can give her information she needs about where she stands, and what she can expect in the short to medium term (probably nothing too drastic). They can give her time to prepare, putting structures in place to support her quality of life for longer than if she waits and just reacts to crises. They can lead to her getting more information and access to adaptations and services and possibly therapies which will enhance and sustain her ability to function for longer (than ditto). These are the advantages to put to her in due course.
Meanwhile, though, I'd start with some creative problem-solving which is where I began - what are the major problems that are a nuisance to *her*?
Hi, in some respects it may not be important to have her assessed. You see she has competency challenges so confirmation doesn't change anything. You might start preparing yourself for the changes she (and you) will face. Do you know where all pertinent paperwork is? Do you have a good grasp on her physical medical situation? What are her living arrangements? Is she still driving ? What do you see as her biggest need at the moment?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The memory loss in itself isn't a problem. The problems are the difficulties that the memory loss leads to. For your mother, what are the main ones?
Put yourself in her shoes and it's easy to see why her temper might have frayed at the neurologist's office. Without very diplomatic handling, such appointments can lead to the person taking away a whole string of negative, offensive and above all false beliefs. The person can feel as though she is being told:
life as she knows it is over
she is losing her mind
everybody will now claim the right to treat her like a dim-witted infant
she will soon be a drooling mess
She can feel as though she's being picked on and hauled up over every error, every lapse in memory or judgement, even those which do quite honestly occur in everybody's life throughout life.
So all in all - probably not the best day out she's had recently.
Next, think of the purpose(s) for which these tests are helpful. They can give her information she needs about where she stands, and what she can expect in the short to medium term (probably nothing too drastic). They can give her time to prepare, putting structures in place to support her quality of life for longer than if she waits and just reacts to crises. They can lead to her getting more information and access to adaptations and services and possibly therapies which will enhance and sustain her ability to function for longer (than ditto). These are the advantages to put to her in due course.
Meanwhile, though, I'd start with some creative problem-solving which is where I began - what are the major problems that are a nuisance to *her*?
Do you know where all pertinent paperwork is? Do you have a good grasp on her physical medical situation? What are her living arrangements? Is she still driving ? What do you see as her biggest need at the moment?
Send this article to her PCP.