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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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I will agree with the others. Let her eat whatever she will eat. A healthy diet is no longer the issue. Nutrition is now the issue. also observe her eating. If she seems to take too long to chew something, it just might be too tough for her to chew or swallow. Or she may be developing problems swallowing.
My Luz lost and amazing mount of weight in the last year. 169# down to 140#. She just kept eating less and less. Some of the food seemed to be to tough or tiring for her to chew. I would feed her whatever she would eat and I left soft snacks out for her to munch on all day long. She liked the frozen cherries.
I tried the nutrition drinks. She did not like the bottled stuff but would drink the half strength powdered version I mixed for her.
I also added the gummy vitamins. Those she liked and it reduced the struggle with her taking pills/meds.
My mother loved salmon and potatoes then all of sudden she didn’t like that meal anymore. As her dementia and old age progressed then her appetite faded to 2 meals a day and plenty of water to 1 meal and 10 hours of sleep a day. This was a sign of her end of life stage so , not to alarm you, but do your research to know what these end of life signs are so you can assess where your parent is in her stage of life. These signs could be a lack of appetite, sleeping more, oxygen levels decline, not wanting to do those activities they enjoyed , and other non medical or physical signs associate with end of life. I wrote an article on this bc we as caregivers get worried when we see a change in habits and doctors only see the physical signs of a disease and not the indicators associated with end of life so I had to do my own research bc my mother was not sick but had a cognitive disease and she wasn’t on any meds. Her numbers were great but I know my Mom and I knew this is a non medical issue which prompted me to do this research. As the body and mind decline so does the appetite so this could be an end of life sign and the best you can do is meet her where she is and not put normal routines on an aging parent because it will just frustrate or scare you. Just accept this is where she is and make a decision that I will accommodate her on this level of her care .Acceptance will save you a lot of grief and frustration bc we as caregivers cannot control our parents health if it is due to natural occurrences as they age .I hope this helps you and if you would like a copy of my article ,please message me and I’ll send you a copy . God bless!!
Hi Greymare, Like the others say, it just might be part of the disease progression. But I know it's hard to watch her not eat. You didn't say if she is still able to physically feed herself or not. If she is, try these little tricks that might help a little: make sure there is good color contrast between the food, plate and table so she can see the food better. Put only a small portion of food on the plate, like 20%, and only one type of food on the plate at a time so it's not too confusing. Keep the room calm and not too noisy. If she only wants dessert, then so be it, it's not a bad way to go! Don't give too many choices. Try talking to her during mealtime to distract her, tell her stories, and as you talk, you give her a spoonful of food. These little tricks might be helpful, but please don't stress too much over her oral intake. My thoughts are with you..
Maybe try just not to focus on it too much. That will make her obsession with it worse. Eating problems are not at all unusual at the end stages of life. Offer things you know she likes when you are able; don't be discouraged if she doesn't like it. Ask her if there is anything she would like. Not much else you can do. If she likes milkshakes and things, slip in some ensure or other supplement.
Does she mean that literally? Does she think that her food is poison? In that case, she needs to mean seen by someone who can evaluate her mental state and perhaps suggest medication for her delusions.
Give her anything she wants and don't worry about a healthy, balanced diet. I't not clear whether things taste off to her - that could be a side effect of medication or just aging - or if she is paranoid, in either case mention it to the doctor.
I expect (certainly hope!) that mother is applying the most vehement and pejorative term she can call to mind, rather than literally believing that the food is poisonous. It is exactly the word my MIL's mother used whenever someone tried to cajole her into eating when she wasn't in the mood. Occasionally accompanied by flinging, just to underline her point.
This is terribly difficult; because even when you know, rationally, that it isn't a personal criticism, food = love and so of course it hurts when your best efforts are rejected.
What have you tried? Everything, yes! - but from what angle? Known favourites, nursery food, tempting morsels, her own recipes?
It is always worth checking that her mouth is comfortable - and clean! - and that she is able to swallow.
And then once you really have tried everything, remember that her requirements are also radically less than they used to be, and that reduced appetite is part of dementia's bleak territory. You can only do your level best.
You could try a milkshake with an egg mixed in with it. You could make it in front of her, so she can see that you can’t get poison inside an egg. I did this with a difficult child eater, and managed to convince her that this is how milkshakes were always made, apart from in shops that wanted to skimp.
I would be very careful with raw eggs. Some of the pasteurized ones might be alright but anyone older, poor immune system should not have raw or under cooked food. Just to limit the possibility of a food borne illness. Last thing you need is a person with Dementia with a gastric upset. This is from experience, my Husband picked up Norwalk Virus from Adult Day Care. Did about 40 loads of wash in 4 days!
This might be due to changing taste and she can only describe it as "poison" Let her eat whatever she wants. Try small portions of lots of different things. Some of the "Protein drinks" I might have to agree with her..they taste pretty nasty. Milk shakes, pudding, fruit but be careful of the slippery stuff that can slide down the wrong way very easily. Usually taste buds might revert back to the first thing we liked...sweet stuff. Depending on her age, level of dementia and possible other medical conditions I would not get real stressed out about getting a "balanced meal" into her. She will at some point need all soft foods then she will stop feeding herself then she will stop eating. So if she will eat anything at this point go for it!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My Luz lost and amazing mount of weight in the last year. 169# down to 140#. She just kept eating less and less. Some of the food seemed to be to tough or tiring for her to chew. I would feed her whatever she would eat and I left soft snacks out for her to munch on all day long. She liked the frozen cherries.
I tried the nutrition drinks. She did not like the bottled stuff but would drink the half strength powdered version I mixed for her.
I also added the gummy vitamins. Those she liked and it reduced the struggle with her taking pills/meds.
I't not clear whether things taste off to her - that could be a side effect of medication or just aging - or if she is paranoid, in either case mention it to the doctor.
This is terribly difficult; because even when you know, rationally, that it isn't a personal criticism, food = love and so of course it hurts when your best efforts are rejected.
What have you tried? Everything, yes! - but from what angle? Known favourites, nursery food, tempting morsels, her own recipes?
It is always worth checking that her mouth is comfortable - and clean! - and that she is able to swallow.
And then once you really have tried everything, remember that her requirements are also radically less than they used to be, and that reduced appetite is part of dementia's bleak territory. You can only do your level best.
Let her eat whatever she wants.
Try small portions of lots of different things.
Some of the "Protein drinks" I might have to agree with her..they taste pretty nasty.
Milk shakes, pudding, fruit but be careful of the slippery stuff that can slide down the wrong way very easily.
Usually taste buds might revert back to the first thing we liked...sweet stuff.
Depending on her age, level of dementia and possible other medical conditions I would not get real stressed out about getting a "balanced meal" into her.
She will at some point need all soft foods then she will stop feeding herself then she will stop eating. So if she will eat anything at this point go for it!
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