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Not if she is diagnosed with dementia, and that is known to the facility. You don't need to speak to discharge planner. Call the admin ASAP or even any worker.Be certain that in your Mother's area the caregivers are aware of her plans to abscond.
However, if Mom is not diagnosed with dementia and is considered rational and competent she can go on a cruise for all anyone cares. She is in charge of herself at that point.
Important thing here is for YOU not to participate in any way. The motel will call authorities, don't you worry, and authorities will call you.
No more discussion with Mom about all this.
Speak to the admins first, then anyone involved in Mom's care today in the facility. And report this. Hope you'll update us.
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erzoolie May 2022
Thank you; that is great advice. I just called the folks at the SNF, and talked to the nurse there, who has been overseeing my mother ... who told me that she has been pretty peaceful today (?). I made her well aware of the situation, both in terms of what my mother had been relaying to me, and of my boundary that she cannot come here in her condition.

Still waiting to hear from the Discharge Planner; apparently it has been a busy day there with discharges and such ...
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So she goes to a motel.

So she gets angry.

So what?

For YOUR sanity, you need to understand that, until she is declared incompetent, your mom gets to make any boneheaded choice she wants.

Mare sure your brother and SIL understand that THEY are taking responsibility for mom.

I'm sorry if that sounds unkind, but at some point, you need to realize that some folks will truly drive you to your wit's end as you try to help them.

Read Liz Scheier's Never Simple. It's a cautionary tale
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AlvaDeer May 2022
Boy do I agree on Liz Scheier's Never Simple for a Cautionary tale. Available through the library.
I think our OP needs to turn off phone to Mom's calls at this point, and to be certain she doesn't intervene in any way.
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