My mother is in a skilled nursing facility, wheelchair bound.
I am as of yet waiting to talk to the Discharge Planner to get any sort of an update on her situation, other than the version she is relaying to me (which is unreliable at best).
Well, my mother just called me and said she spoke to my brother's wife, who is "getting her a wheelchair", and then "she is going to have my brother come and pick her up and take her to a motel in Fullerton where she will stay for four days". Not kidding.
I still haven’t gotten a call back from the Discharge Planner, who I have tried to call several times.
I told my mother in no uncertain terms she cannot come back to my house wheelchair bound as she is unsafe. I said it as kindly and compassionately as possible. She unloaded on me with a litany of hostility, and then hung up.
I’ve tried to call my brother, no response. I don’t know what else to do, but wait to talk to the Discharge Planner.
There is no way she can discharge herself, can she?
However, if Mom is not diagnosed with dementia and is considered rational and competent she can go on a cruise for all anyone cares. She is in charge of herself at that point.
Important thing here is for YOU not to participate in any way. The motel will call authorities, don't you worry, and authorities will call you.
No more discussion with Mom about all this.
Speak to the admins first, then anyone involved in Mom's care today in the facility. And report this. Hope you'll update us.
Still waiting to hear from the Discharge Planner; apparently it has been a busy day there with discharges and such ...
So she gets angry.
So what?
For YOUR sanity, you need to understand that, until she is declared incompetent, your mom gets to make any boneheaded choice she wants.
Mare sure your brother and SIL understand that THEY are taking responsibility for mom.
I'm sorry if that sounds unkind, but at some point, you need to realize that some folks will truly drive you to your wit's end as you try to help them.
Read Liz Scheier's Never Simple. It's a cautionary tale
I think our OP needs to turn off phone to Mom's calls at this point, and to be certain she doesn't intervene in any way.