Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
The NH says that his sister signed over POA to them but she cannot remember doing this. Surely a loving family has the right to look after their own. The NH charge £5000 a month for 4 years so we think that they want the money more than his Mum.
Ask to see the NOTARIZED POA paperwork. If your sister can't recall signing one and having it notarized; and doesn't have the original notarized copy of the POA; then the NH should have a notarized copy. If so, I'm sure they are happy to provide it. The only other explanation might be that it was part of the paperwork signed by your sister when your MIL was admitted. Ask to see the entire packet. I don't know the law in other countries; but in the USA, the NH would have to have this POA notarized in order for it to be legal and binding. As an aside: the cost you mention for NH care (~$6000/month USD) is not out of line for a nursing home here at all. Good luck!
I will assume your from England. In the US your sister would not be able to turn over a POA. Only the person who assigned her can revolk it and assign another. NHs can go for guardianship through the State. That overrides a POA but guardianship can be contested
I would first find out if in England POAs can be transferred without the principle being involved. If not, then I would ask to see the proof that POA was turned over to the NH. If they will not show you or sister the paperwork, you may need to get a Lawyer involved.
Of course they want the money more that his mother. Nursing home DO NOT care about their residents. It's all about the money and profits. If your MIL is an easy (doesn't complain, doesn't need much care, etc...) they don't want to lose residents like that because they get the same money for an easy one as they get for a hard-to-handle resident. With all respect to your family, if your husband's sister is an idiot. Who forgets if whether or not they gave over a POA? I see that you're paying the nursing home in pounds, so I'm assuming you are in the United Kingdom. I don't know what the rules are about POA or conservatorship/guardianship, or how Wills are executed where you are. In the United States, at least in my state if someone wants to change a POA that has to be done legally either by a lawyer, a judge, or through the probate court. The same if someone wants to change or give up executorship of their Will too. You may be able to petition the court for conservatorship and have it appointed to you. It's likely that you would win. I can't see how any judge would refuse it if you can provide the level of care she has to have. You'd be saving your national health service a fortune too by taking her our of the NH.
Faith13, what health issues does your husband's Mom have? What was the reason that she was first placed in a nursing home? If your husband brings his Mom home [I assume to your home], will it be set up the same as a nursing home? Will there be enough family members to help with the 24 hour care?
Why I ask those questions, many do not realize all that is required is be around the clock caregiver. You may have family members who are willing to help now, but don't be surprised if they start to fade away realizing how exhausting this can be. And hiring outside help would cost more than the original nursing home.
Two issues here. Both major. 1. Which is the legal POA? 2. Sufficient level of care.
If Sister is POA why would your DH take over the hands-on? To do that, HE needs to be POA, to be able to legally arrange & run his own Nursing-Home-For-One.
When you say 'appropriate support' I guess he means round the clock Care Aide staff + visiting Doctor, Nurse, Podiatrist, Physio etc, right? Will he be admin/accountant/finance? What will your role be?
Or..
Is this your Husband feeling some sort of 'guilt' ie I WISH I could just bundle Mother up & bring her home to look after myself 😥🤔
A good home care plan can work well - if practical, well managed & legal. But it is a very different beast to the wishful thinking of sadness & grief. I don't mean to belittle his plan.. just asking the WHY behind it..
Don't bring the cost into this if you are sincerely motivated only by a desire to give your MIL the best possible quality of life. Speaking about the money raises suspicions about your husband's motivation and the kindf of care she will recieve at home. But you are right to assess the nursing home's motive as financial. It would be different if they had said the woman has been happy, doing well, improving and receiving care that can only be provided in a NH, if there is such a thing.
Major: The nursing home must prove to you and the sister that she granted them POA. They must produce the document she signed and if notarization was required, the contact information for the notary public. Don't let them tell you if notarization was required. Find out from the government.
If a notary was involved you can ask the notary who served to confirm and prove your sister's signature. They can also show when and possibly where the signing took place. If the NH cannot show you the signed, notarized (if applicable) POA, you have options regarding whether and to whom to report them for lying and for controlling an elder's healthcare and living place by fraud.
If the sister did sign over POA to them, find out if she can revoke the action in the relevant jurisdiction. Ignore what the NH says. Get an authoritative answer.
Personally, I support efforts to care for loved ones in their homes whenever that is what they want. If they can't express a choice, I'd advocate for excellent home care over excellent NH care.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If your sister can't recall signing one and having it notarized; and doesn't have the original notarized copy of the POA; then the NH should have a notarized copy. If so, I'm sure they are happy to provide it.
The only other explanation might be that it was part of the paperwork signed by your sister when your MIL was admitted. Ask to see the entire packet. I don't know the law in other countries; but in the USA, the NH would have to have this POA notarized in order for it to be legal and binding.
As an aside: the cost you mention for NH care (~$6000/month USD) is not out of line for a nursing home here at all.
Good luck!
I would first find out if in England POAs can be transferred without the principle being involved. If not, then I would ask to see the proof that POA was turned over to the NH. If they will not show you or sister the paperwork, you may need to get a Lawyer involved.
If your MIL is an easy (doesn't complain, doesn't need much care, etc...) they don't want to lose residents like that because they get the same money for an easy one as they get for a hard-to-handle resident.
With all respect to your family, if your husband's sister is an idiot. Who forgets if whether or not they gave over a POA? I see that you're paying the nursing home in pounds, so I'm assuming you are in the United Kingdom. I don't know what the rules are about POA or conservatorship/guardianship, or how Wills are executed where you are. In the United States, at least in my state if someone wants to change a POA that has to be done legally either by a lawyer, a judge, or through the probate court. The same if someone wants to change or give up executorship of their Will too.
You may be able to petition the court for conservatorship and have it appointed to you. It's likely that you would win. I can't see how any judge would refuse it if you can provide the level of care she has to have. You'd be saving your national health service a fortune too by taking her our of the NH.
Are you then going to be expected to be one of the (or the only?) caregivers?
Why I ask those questions, many do not realize all that is required is be around the clock caregiver. You may have family members who are willing to help now, but don't be surprised if they start to fade away realizing how exhausting this can be. And hiring outside help would cost more than the original nursing home.
1. Which is the legal POA?
2. Sufficient level of care.
If Sister is POA why would your DH take over the hands-on? To do that, HE needs to be POA, to be able to legally arrange & run his own Nursing-Home-For-One.
When you say 'appropriate support' I guess he means round the clock Care Aide staff + visiting Doctor, Nurse, Podiatrist, Physio etc, right? Will he be admin/accountant/finance? What will your role be?
Or..
Is this your Husband feeling some sort of 'guilt' ie I WISH I could just bundle Mother up & bring her home to look after myself 😥🤔
A good home care plan can work well - if practical, well managed & legal. But it is a very different beast to the wishful thinking of sadness & grief. I don't mean to belittle his plan.. just asking the WHY behind it..
Major: The nursing home must prove to you and the sister that she granted them POA. They must produce the document she signed and if notarization was required, the contact information for the notary public. Don't let them tell you if notarization was required. Find out from the government.
If a notary was involved you can ask the notary who served to confirm and prove your sister's signature. They can also show when and possibly where the signing took place. If the NH cannot show you the signed, notarized (if applicable) POA, you have options regarding whether and to whom to report them for lying and for controlling an elder's healthcare and living place by fraud.
If the sister did sign over POA to them, find out if she can revoke the action in the relevant jurisdiction. Ignore what the NH says. Get an authoritative answer.
Personally, I support efforts to care for loved ones in their homes whenever that is what they want. If they can't express a choice, I'd advocate for excellent home care over excellent NH care.