He has days now that he’s too confused to make any demands. I could no longer keep either of us safe. So after 3 tough years with Parkinson’s and dementia I had to give up the care the man I promised, in sickness and in health I would care for. I have not been able to release my guilt even when I know with my disability I can’t take care of him. I feel my life is over too. I don’t want to live without him but I know I can’t have him back. At least my head knows. The devastation I feel is so overwhelming. I just can’t seem to get past it. Feel like I’m lost and freefalling. We are 71 years old. Thank you, Joy
I wonder if there are support groups near you for caregivers? Support groups are an amazing way to have a safe space to share with others who are walking the same journey. Maybe there will be someone who had to place their loved one and can share what they learned... maybe you have some wisdom to share with others from what you have learned. Like exercise helps get our blood pumping through our bodies, support groups can help us "exercise" our emotions, to get them flowing again when we feel stuck and bogged down.
Another thing that might help is scheduling visits when there is a fun activity happening at his facility. Pleasant events can help couples feel close again, being with each other and doing something enjoyable. It might help distract him from demanding to go home, and give you time together that you both enjoy. Even if our loved ones aren't able to remember the good times, since they live so in the moment...if we can help them have more moments of joy, it helps us feel joy as well.
Sending you love and hugs. I know its hard but you are doing the very best you can for him. You needed to ensure his safety and well being and your own. Please know we are all here for you.
I appreciate you taking the time to help me and you have. Bless you.