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We have some equity in our house, but I don’t want to use it all since I may live for another 20 years and this is the prime source of our retirement money. Any ideas?

It is very difficult.
I would see an elder law attorney about options for division of finances.
The very sad truth is that in our times people often have to resort to very creative options. My own CPA had to go so far as a quiet and unknown divorce from his beloved wife who had a severe accident early in life and left him with two small children. He could not both support her in care in her comatose condition and afford care for his children.

There are sometimes protective trusts but you honestly need expert advice on all of this. Otherwise you may have to spend your joint assets leaving only about 100,000 for your own life care. Needless to say that is not enough.

If your husband is in care you may want to consider a roommate. That can often provide some income, but you need to be very careful in choices.

I wish you good luck. Get good advice.
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