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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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His blood pressure drops often and he falls easy. He gets angry, very angry and told me no one in the world could stop him to leave. Legally, what can I do to stop him?
If he’s considered mentally sound I’m not sure you can stop him from leaving assisted living. If he comes home you’ll have to decide how to respond to that. Do you have a friend or family member you can go stay with? You shouldn’t subject yourself to the anger, at all. With your own situation you aren’t able to help or even obligated to provide physical care, trying to pick him up from falls will be too much. Since he’s not willing to listen perhaps some time alone at home will prove to him that it isn’t doable for him to pull off this plan. I hope you’ll take care of and protect yourself
Are you able to get a consult with an attorney? I'd find out my legal rights and how to stay safe. If he's a danger to himself or others, there should be legal options.
This is an Assisted Living. Not sure if they would fall under the "safe discharge" thing. Their residents can come and go. If Dementia, they are usually in a lock down. Your a resident.
Maybe you should go into the AL and let him stay in the home.
Is your husband physically and mentally capable of leaving the facility? He says no one can stop him, but could he pull off this move without assistance? Call movers, close out his AL account, arrange transport for himself, and move back home unassisted? If not, you probably don’t have too much to worry about in the very short term. But I would suggest consulting a lawyer to see what your obligations are if indeed he’s able to pull this off, and you cannot handle him at home. I concur with the suggestions that you seriously consider the possibility of you yourself moving to the assisted living facility. Would he stay if you were with him? Do you want to be with him??
Call Adult Protective Services to Have them Intervene. You need to Tell them you are Very Ill and your Husband as well, Is in No Shape But instead is Putting you BOTH in Harm's Way, In Caring for you and Himself. Get them up There and File a Report. You can Go from There, They Care...
Lock the door & change the lock first - talk to a lawyer about this second - talk to your dr. about how this would endanger your health
Is he capable in moving back on his own? - does he have the money to pay someone? - does he have a suitcase to put his things in? - call the taxi companies to say he has no money to pay for the ride so they don't pick him up - tell family members not to help him
It sounds to me like he already came home. I agree with others who say you should move to Independent or Assisted living depending on your current needs. With you gone, he may follow But please do all you can to stay safe.
I say get an in-home aide or nurse to come by. There are also services that offer free telephone reassurance programs. Not much help other than a call just to check how he is doing. Would he like to go to an adult day care or the senior center daily for meals. Something to keep him occupied and around others. One thing you might do if he is still in the facility is have a care plan meeting with the charge nurse and social worker and help him develop a plan. Maybe at the meeting he will see that he cannot go home. Senior often times talk about going home, but they rarely ever really go. They don't know how to do all the things required to go home. They may not even know how to call a taxi. He could also be pre-dementia where he doesn't realize what is best for him. I used to have a patient that tried to leave our facility daily for a while. I told him you have to wait until Jeff (a family member) comes and then you can go. That worked. We would have to tell him over and over every day. It's just the dementia and they can't remember. If they do have dementia, they cannot reason or think logically. So trying to convince they cannot do something is fruitless. So just let him think you are going along with him, you just have to arrange to have someone to pick him up. If he is able to make his own arrangements, then you pretty much will have no choice. Your options would be as I stated above: In-home care, adult day care, or daily visits to the local senior center. I hope I have provided you with some options that are useful to you. PJ, RN
You have to protect yourself before you can help him.
Start looking at communities today, pick one that meets your current and future needs. Move. SOON.
Your husband and can do as he pleases, he has to understand that you will do as you please, too.
Many husbands ‘rule the roost.’ You can’t blame them for acting as though their desires and decisions are the ones that really matter if that’s how it’s always been.
Why did he go to assisted living? He must have made the decision himself? How was the move done to get him there? How long was he there?
You also will need assistance at some point. I would find a continuum of care facility and start with independent living. I would start today, you need to protect yourself.
Agree with the tone of the other answers. There's a point at which we say this is an adult and they make their own decisions, even if ill informed and unreasonable. He's a serious fall risk. When, not if, he falls he's going to hurt himself. Then you call 911 and things proceed from there.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Downsize and go to ALF together?
Is he worried about the finances, or you alone at home?
Ask them if they are saying this is a "safe discharge".
Maybe you should go into the AL and let him stay in the home.
Get them up There and File a Report. You can Go from There, They Care...
Is he capable in moving back on his own? - does he have the money to pay someone? - does he have a suitcase to put his things in? - call the taxi companies to say he has no money to pay for the ride so they don't pick him up - tell family members not to help him
But please do all you can to stay safe.
Start looking at communities today, pick one that meets your current and future needs. Move. SOON.
Your husband and can do as he pleases, he has to understand that you will do as you please, too.
Many husbands ‘rule the roost.’ You can’t blame them for acting as though their desires and decisions are the ones that really matter if that’s how it’s always been.
You also will need assistance at some point. I would find a continuum of care facility and start with independent living. I would start today, you need to protect yourself.
There's a point at which we say this is an adult and they make their own decisions, even if ill informed and unreasonable.
He's a serious fall risk. When, not if, he falls he's going to hurt himself. Then you call 911 and things proceed from there.