He keeps the spaces he doesn’t use fairly clean... BUT, boats, cars, trucks, food (COSTCO)... He lives alone. If he can’t FIND something he HAS, he just buys another... How do I approach this issue when he “Feels” the items are “worth” something even if he doesn’t use them or they go BAD, (food)...
At this point, he and I have talked about not upsetting her. At her age, she’s becoming much more forgetful. She doesn’t drive. My brother does all the grunt work since I do not live in the area any longer. He goes over to her house daily. He cares for her meals, her meds, her doctor visits, etc, etc.............. We will have to call in a specialist! ...for her and the house. Also my brother and I both have a tendency, he more than me, but my husband helps me stay in control. Brother is a single guy, so he’s basically a runaway train!
That doesn’t sound like a hoarder. They kind of fill up any space they have.
“.. BUT, boats, cars, trucks, food (COSTCO)...”
That’s most men! Since, he’s using those vehicles, I’m guessing he’s pretty active and that’s a good thing. With regards to unkempt places, maybe, he’s tired or didn’t get the time or just a procrastinator. Can you hire a help to clean them out on a periodical basis?
“He lives alone”.
That’s the crux of the problem! Some repeatedly try and fail miserably to replace people with things. Can you arrange a date or take a vacation together? A place away from home may instill a fresh perspective on life. You can’t change anyone’s behavior, but you can avail new opportunities to them to induce such a change.
“If he can’t FIND something he HAS, he just buys another..”
If he doesn’t have the time to bother searching and has money to throw around, what’s the issue? It’s not ideal, but not a big issue. It more looks like an organizational problem. Again a maid would help. If you’re doubting a memory issue like dementia or Alzheimer, arrange for a brain scan to rule it out.
“How do I approach this issue when he “Feels” the items are “worth” something even if he doesn’t use them or they go BAD, (food)..”
How about once in few months, suggest a yard sale or guilt him into a food donation drive and clean the place out?