My father in law came to visit a year and a half ago and hasn't left. He has an aide that comes in for a few hours a week. My children are not allowed to have friends over because he is staying with us. I live in the Northeast and he has my furnace at 71 in the winter and 68 in the summer. I have had to clean up bowel movements from my carpet, he stands in the entrance of our bathroom and just pees. I have a complete understanding and care for the man because of his age. Every few days my wife goes of the handle screaming and yelling at him. The kids and I walk on pins and needles just waiting for her to explode at us or him. I give up and want him out and a divorce. The man has been nothing but mean to me his whole life - he basically is a mean man and always has been. I am tired of the whole situation. I want my father in law out and then a divorce. The man has a sizable networth my wife will inherit and then divorce me anyways - I just want him out now. I have told him he needs to pay rent over and over and cover his cost to stay here which has been ignored. How can I kick him to the curb - he can easily pay the $5-8K a month to stay someplace nice, but my wife wants the money when he dies. Can I sue the estate for his back room and board and the damage to my home? Hardwood floors black, carpets and mattresses ruined?
This will be a fight with your wife....insist she get an apartment for her and Dad..and then move Dad there from the hospital.
Be prepared to file for divorce the same week...just so she doesn't have the idea to let Dad return.
Since you have made up your mind about all this.....you need to fish or cut bait.
How old are your kids?
I agree with cmag that your wife is "wedded" to her father and his money more than she is to you and your children. The situation is intolerable. Good luck.