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All, my father passed away at 90 last week. He is finally at peace. Now the real work begins. I am an only child so the task of dealing with his estate, home and all other financials falls to me. Can any of you offer some tips on what to do next, checklists, what to take care of right away, things you have learned for those who have been through this process? I always turned to this forum when caring for my father. Thank you in advance.

My mom had a sizable estate and I have zero regrets about paying someone else to deal with it all 🤷‍♀️
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Reply to cwillie
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Condolences on the loss of your father. Did he have a will? Are you named executor of his estate? The legal requirements can be daunting and differ from county to county so hiring a probate attorney may be the best option for you.
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Reply to RLWG54
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Laeric Jul 2, 2024
Yes, Dad had a will and everything goes to me. He does have an elder care attorney. I will meet with him in August. Wish it was sooner, but that's all they had open.
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The funeral home should be able to provide a checklist of things to do. Hire a lawyer to handle the filing of documents and to advise you so that everything is done right. The lawyer will be paid out of the estate.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Look for all financial papers. You are going to have to rifle through all of his drawers and filing cabinets looking for a will, bank statements, life insurance, and brokerage accounts. If he had a broker, contact them, tell them what happened. Same thing with life insurance. If he had any private health insurance, call them and tell them what happened. Same thing with Social Security. If he had his taxes done by somebody, contact them. They can be helpful in finding financial accounts.

Shut off any utilities that can be cancelled right away - phone, cell phone, cable, Netflix account, internet access. Remember, from this point on, any money spent comes out of your inheritance. Cancel all credit cards. Keep the ATM card if you can find the PIN.

You will want to contact a probate attorney. If the estate is not large, and if you are the only beneficiary, you may be able to get a quick probate from the attorney. They will give you a checklist of what to do. You will do more of the work, but the fee will be lower.

Eventually you will have to deal with selling off his assets, including any cars and all of the home furnishings, but these are all day 2 items.
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Reply to olddude
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Hopefully there is a will assigning the executor. I assume you might be the executor? For starters, not much can happen until a death certificate has been issued. Find the original will, and speak to a lawyer. One of the first things I did was, stop utilities, automatic payments, etc. Shut off cable. It’s possible these entities would require a death certificate, but I had no trouble even before it came in. The bank accounts with beneficiaries, those accounts can be closed and paid out with just a death certificate. The lawyer will have to go through a court process to officially designate the executor. This can take a month or two. Once that happens, a letter of testamentary, and an EI number for tax purposes will be issued. These things will enable you to do things such as open and estate bank account, sell property, etc. so in summary, I first handled some smaller matters, such as stopping the cable, newspaper, etc. I secured and monitored my dad’s home. Once we got the certificate, we were able to distribute his bank account and life insurance that had named beneficiaries. Once the court had certified me as executrix, , I went about the process of selling his home. once that was sold, I with the help of the lawyer, distributed the proceeds to the heirs according to what his will said.
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Reply to Oedgar23
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Coder73 Jul 2, 2024
You said that the lawyer has to go through a court process to officially designate the executor. Does the executor have to attend probate court, or does the probate lawyer take care of that portion?
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Before you do anything you need to go to Probate. That can't be done, though, until a certain amount of days after death. Probate will file the Will, it then will be public. If you are Executor, you will get a short certificate. This will give you the ability to handle Dads estate. I was given a list of things that I needed to do. I did all the filings. But Mom's estate was only her house. I eventually needed a lawyer to put the house back into the estate because my brother did not want it. The lawyer then handled the closing of the house and the final accounting of the estate. It was worth the money he charged.

You may want to go the Lawyer route.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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As a thought since there is a home, to make things easier just leave all the utilities on his name and be sure to pay the bills on time. Utilities - if you were to shut them off & open new accounts- tend to want a hefty deposit to do a fresh account. Just let them be.

Now any WiFi t& cable that can get shut off, if you wanted to. Pls pay attention to precisely what cable company wants returned… like if its still old school box that is in dads home, they will want that sucker back and will charge extra if it’s not. Get a receipt too as cable folks are imho ruthless.

I’d be way waaaaay more concerned on his homeowners insurance policy. Why? Well as of his DoD it is no longer valid. The owner is dead, it’s effectively cancelled. Now for insurance companies to deal with this is somewhat squishy….. some will let it continue to the end of the current paid thru policy period others cancel 100% as of DOD. What is usually done is once it is stopped is to get a Vacant Dwelling Policy for the interim from now to when it sells. The Vacants are NOT cheap and are basically just a fire and theft policy. The State Farm’s, Allstate’s do not underwrite these, so you will have to go with an Independent insurance agent to get one done. They run short term then renewed. If your Realtor are doing open houses and showings, you will have to have something in place just to protect the estate from any liability.

I assume he has no mortgage so there are no fixed & firms on extensive insurance coverage, eg. Flood, windstorm, earthquake… as this will be beyond costly if you can find an underwriter.

Ask the Realtors what degree of experience they have in dealing with property in probate. All States run this a bit differently so having someone with experience in this maze will be worthwhile their commission. If you really truly are absolutely “As Is” and will flat out not be doing any repairs, any painting, new whatever whatsoever, you have to make that beyond clear to your Realtor. I’ve found they tend to want it to be made more market ready and that has costs both directly to your Executor wallet but also in time as you need to make sure work is being done and even b4 this as you should get estimates on projects as otherwise it can become a sticky for a sign off by probate court. Maybe your family is all kumbaya on what happens but greed and flat out misunderstanding of the elders at death true financial picture tends to happen. This forum is littered with pissed at probate tales of woe.

also most States have a defined period of waiting to see what bills exist b4 delving into selling assets or paying off on any bills. Your attorney files a NOC / Notice to Creditors to get the info for this to be done. A lot depends on where your dad’s assets were as to where Notices must be placed. & if your State is one that does “Level of Claim” system to hierarchy in paying debts. If Medicaid was part of how his care was done, that will be an additional complication.

Stay organized and you will be ok.
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Geaton777 Jul 2, 2024
I can attest that the cable companies are the worst. During covid we decided to get our own modem so we could stop paying "rent" for the cable company's one we'd been using. I dropped it off. I was never given a receipt. Turns out the modem rental kept showing up on our bill. When I called to explain it was returned, they told me no problem, what's the return # on the receipt. I explained I was never given a receipt. They didn't budge. Long story shortened, I wound up paying for the full cost of purchasing the modem ($120+) that I no longer had to avoid paying $12 a month for the rest of the time we had cable (and this doesn't inlcude all the months prior we were paying for rental).
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When my dad died I was able to get this done pretty efficiently. First, make a list of all the people you need to contact - insurance company, social security, any pensions, credit cards, bills, etc. and write down all the phone numbers and web addresses. Contact them and let them know he is dead. They will tell you what paperwork they will need. Some take your word for it, others want a death certificate, some will send you their own paperwork. Social Security and any pensions need to be contacted ASAP as they will demand their payments back if you roll over into another payment. I got a giant cup of coffee and sat and did this in a single morning, never leaving my seat until it was done. Then find the WILL and any paperwork like trust documents and bank statements. The will is very important and usually put someplace considered "safe" which means it's hard to find. I had to contact the lawyer to get a copy while I kept searching. I was also an only child and knew that I was the executor so I kept working while the lawyer got me a copy. Then I found all the bank accounts. If you don't know what they are his income tax filing is usually a good way to identify where he had his money. Contact all the banks to let them know of his death. His accounts will now be frozen unless you have a joint account with him so you'll need to immediately talk to the probate court and the bank about getting an ESTATE account. (I didn't need an Estate account because in my state it wasn't required since my dad's money was all in a trust and I had a joint checking account to pay immediate bills. This did, however cause some issues later.) Talk to the court to see how you file for probate, if needed. Also, know that many lawyers will talk to you for an hour without charge if they think it will lead to getting your business. You can get a lot of questions answered in that free hour.

Get used to accepting everyone's condolences and telling your story a million times. If your dad had an accountant or financial advisor get them to help. You will get 98% of this accomplished with some tedious work but little problem. Know that there will be 2% that is a living nightmare. (In my Dad's sizeable estate everything was seamless except for one $6,000 insurance refund that is making me insane. If it was $60 I'd just ignore it but if I get put on hold one more time......)

The best advice is to stay organized and keep your lists and paperwork updated. And remember there is no way to to get through this except to keep plowing through it. It's hard, especially when you are sad and tired and have no energy, but it will get done, eventually.
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Reply to jkm999
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Another wrinkle to the story: My dad had a fender bender two years ago. The woman went to one of those "got hit by a car? call us" type of lawyers. My father's insurance company was not able to settle with her. So....it has now gone to court with a trial date of August 2025. I know in most cases, since the defendant is passed, the case will be dismissed. But, can this woman come back and file a claim against my father's estate? Yes, I will be asking this of my father's atty in August. Has anyone gone through this before? Dad doesn't have a lot, but I sure do not want a stranger to get anything from his estate.
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Reply to Laeric
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My dad passed in February. One of the things we needed was "Letters of Administration" which we could only get from the Registrar of Wills. First available appointment was three months after he passed!

To be honest, the visit to the Registrar of Wills was overwhelming for me. Until then, I thought we were progressing through everything smoothly, Dad had everything in order for us. But suddenly it seemed there was a whole lot more to be done and accounted for.

My sister and I are 50/50 heirs and executors. My BIL has really stepped up for us because he has a greater understanding of everything than either of us. Now we are at a standstill until November with continuing to deal with the estate because a legal notice had to be published to allow anyone with a claim against his estate to file that claim. (This might be what the person in the accident with your dad is supposed to do now that he has passed.)

The Letters of Adminstration were needed by dad's accountant in order to complete the 2023 taxes and by the bank to release CDs and bonds. (Dad's accounts at the bank were set up to become ours upon his death, but apparently that only covered the checking and savings accounts.)

The funeral home probably provided you with a checklist, which is a good starting point, but definitely doesn't cover everything. And, as I'm now learning, the process is long, even though dad had everything as simple as possible.
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Reply to graygrammie
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My mom's paperwork and beneficiaries were all set up and up to date while I was her guardian and conservator for 6 years. I took all paperwork to her elder attorney to file in probate. I could have done it myself. It took about a month for probate to issue me an all clear. It only cost me $350 three years ago.
As executor for another with a home to sell and title issues and a will that was too simple for the size of the estate, all was not up to date with probate and I had to wait for a letter of testimony to proceed with selling. That one I could not get closure for 18 months.

I wish you luck with a speedy process. It seems that a month to meet is reasonable. You probably have homework to do before that meeting.
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