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Out of the blue this past week, my elderly patient (who lives at home, and I am a live-in male nurse) stopped taking his - heart, blood thinning, diabetes, antidepressant- medications on every odd day. So one day he takes it, the other he rejects it.
He seems completely able to discern the risks, but I can’t understand what he is saying because he has a speech impediment due to a stroke.
His family says to break the meds and mix them in with food, but I feel this is against my caring principles as the first rule is always respect my patients and I don’t want to lie to him.
What is your take on this? What should I do?

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I know you don't want to go against the patient's wishes. It's very hard to care for someone every day. Please talk to the doctor and the family and maybe call a meeting. Is the patient suffering from side effects? Is he capable of making this decision? Suffering from cognitive impairment?

Looking back I wish I did more to help my dad. He also refused his meds and let him be and it was a fatal mistake. I still wish I did what this family is asking you to do because then maybe my dad would still be alive. The regret and guilt I feel is still very painful.
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malenurse Apr 2022
thank you for your answer. The meeting has already happened in the first stages, and now we’re going to reconvene with the family doctor as well.
I have been giving him the medication in food, but I feel like I am betraying him.
I would wish to respect his wishes and maybe the doctor can provide a better solution to this issue. So sorry to hear about your dad. My mother was a terminal cancer patient when she rejected life-prolonging treatments and I supported her fully. It all depends on the quality of life one has left, and I strongly feel it’s an individual choice.
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“He seems completely able to discern the risks, but I can’t understand what he is saying because he has a speech impediment due to a stroke.”

If you can’t understand what he’s saying, what makes you think he knows what he’s doing? I guess he also can’t write what he wants?

If he wants to die, wouldn’t he be rejecting all the medicine, every day?

Maybe he’s very unaware of the risks he’s taking. If he can’t make decisions, the family will make good decisions in his best interests: follow the family please.
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malenurse Apr 2022
all valid points, especially the rejecting medicine all the time part. I will speak with the physician about this expressing my deep concern about the reason why he chooses to reject them, maybe she can find a solution
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Hi! Please listen to his family. They want what’s best for him.

Look OP, here you posted his medicines:
“heart, blood thinning, diabetes, antidepressant- medications”

Many of these have severe consequences if you stop cold turkey (taking every other day IS kind of like stopping cold turkey = in other words, it is kind of like suddenly stopping, instead of slowly tapering off).

If he’s depressed, and takes anti-depressants every other day, he’ll get more depressed/suicidal. A suicidal person won’t make good decisions.

Diabetes…etc.
Heart…

These are all serious medicines.
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malenurse Apr 2022
you make good points. I will give him the medicine in his food on the off days that he doesn’t want them, but this has got to be addressed on a deeper level with the doctor
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It could be because of money. Or side effects. Or depression. It is a person's right to refuse medical care including medicine. If his mind is intact, write the alphabet on a piece of paper - have him point to spell words. Or write out those options, is the reason you stopped your meds a: money, cost b: side effects, how it makes you feel c: you have given up hope etc. Have him point. Outside the box people!
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Lymie61 Apr 2022
Great idea, in my experience nothing is cookie cutter when caring for an individual, always think outside the box before deciding it fits in the box!
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My wonderful step dad was taking blood thinners and medications that gave his heart the priority for life. He was bed ridden and after a couple of years (before his 95th birthday), he asked my mom if she would be okay stating that he wanted to stop his medications. She assured him she would. His mind was good, he was just tired and bed ridden gives a different degree of pain from the lack of motion and weight bearing movement. He only took the arthritis pain medication. We thought he would be gone in a week and it was 3 weeks. He was humorous when every morning he would “ask” mom, “Am I dead yet? I was ready last night?” He was peaceful with the last 3 days being him sleeping all the time. Mom called the pastor and he did a bedside communion as soon as he went off the medications and it was precious for all of us. We didn’t know if he would die or have a stroke or have a heart attack and continue living…..we were blessed that he passed peacefully.
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Has he had any recent blood tests to see assess the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of taking his medicines on alternate days? Perhaps with slowing metabolism, every other day will turn out to be sufficient.
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"He seems completely able to discern the risks..."

Well, there's the answer to the question of whether it's okay to give him the medications covertly. NO!!! Don't. You cannot give a person who has mental capacity - i.e. understands what he is doing and appreciates risks and consequences - any form of treatment or medication without his consent. It's not just unethical, it's illegal.

Are you a qualified nursing professional? If so, you should already have a code of conduct to consult. If you don't have a line manager (i.e. if you are self-employed, paid by your patient or his family) to take instructions from, you can still follow protocol as laid down by your professional body.

Meanwhile: document. I assume you're keeping MAR charts anyway? So you should have a written record of when your patient is taking his medication and when he is declining it. You can add observations of the apparent reasons for refusal. If you can't understand what he is saying about it, you can suggest a list of reasons and wait for him to agree with the one that applies.

Approach it like twenty questions. For example:

This is your medication Mr Patient and I understand that you are declining it. It is your decision which of course I accept. However I need to record this, and it would be really helpful if I can also understand why you don't want to take them.
Is it because...

You are worried about the dose?
You are feeling sick?
You find them uncomfortable to swallow?
You are not confident that I am giving you the correct tablets at the correct time?
And so on, working through what seems likely to you based on your knowledge of this individual, until you come to "you just don't want to?"

You must also report the refusal to the prescriber. The one you mention which would really worry me is the anti-depressant - skipping doses of these does nasty things to brain chemistry and is not good. Is your patient refusing all of the medications or only some? Are you offering them one at a time or all together?

When a person has mental capacity but difficulty with communication, it is up to you to find ways to help him communicate. Have you been with this patient for long?
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I so respect your caring principals and agree that when fully capable it’s a patients decision as to how they want to live or die. I also respect that you recognize a dilemma here and the fact that he is refusing every other day seems like evidence of either not remembering or understanding the ramifications or a fluctuation in wishes or uncertainty in what he really wants. I think the plan you seem to be following is a good one, making sure he has his medication until the family and his doctor can be sure he knows and understands the ramifications and you can all be sure he knows what he wants. You obviously have found a way to communicate with him but it can be especially hard with such a big and important concept to be sure and GBSandRA has a great idea if you don’t already use the method, to use writing as a way either the alphabet or un-suggestive sentences as choices because it tests his comprehension as well as his wishes which might be helpful for you. It sounds like you are taking great care of him and really care about your patient, I’m sure the family appreciates how lucky they are to have you.
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If his family has spoken to his doctor and are his POA, you should follow their instructions. You are not able to find out why he is only taking a half-dose of his medications due to his speech impediment. If you mix the medications with food, he may not realize he's taking them, and you will not have to lie to him.
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malenurse Apr 2022
a lie doesn’t just happen if and when the person being lied to finds out
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If the patient is mentally competent, it's OK to let him decide to take or not to take his medicines. If the patient is incompetent and he has a guardian, the latter will decide if it's OK to stop the medicines or not.
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This is an addition o my previous posting. Using covert methods to medicate patients is a very complex matter. It has legal and ethical considerations. The only exception is when not immediately medicating a patient will cause his death or extensive damage. If it's not a life and death situation, it's best to analyze the situation in detail before taking action. If the patient has not been declared mentally incompetent by a Court if Law, it's competent legally speaking and he has the right to refuse treatment, no matter how unwise it may appear. Using covert methods to administer medications is the same as given medicines without patient's consent. It can't be done legally. What to do? the first thing is to take the patient before a Court of Law and have him declared legally incompetent, Second, is to have a guardian appointed, who will make all pertinent medical decisions for the patient.
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As a nurse (I am one, as well) I know that you know that this situation is reportable to this patient's MD who will guide you in solutions to the problem.
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Try to reason why he is refusing meds. Is it because of the cost of medications or is it because he don't like the feelings the meds give him. I know this is hard to determine with speech impediment, but important as to what to do.
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Has his stroke affected his cognitive ability otherwise, i.e., can he communicate in writing or by pointing? Elaborating on suggestions already made?  If so, use that as a method, simplifying the questions and providing a range of answers so that he can just point to one answer,

When my father was intubated and couldn't speak, I created an answer board, with photos as much as possible, but also a list such as

Cold; need another blanket
Thirsty, need swab (disposable oral swabs)
Bedpan (with a cutout photo of a bedpan)
Nurse (with a cutout photo of a nurse)

Call (usually someone in the church, with a list of names from which to choose)

I attached a pencil with a string to a clip board, so Dad could also write if he wanted to.   A small and easy to use pad was also attached to the clipboard.

I had a few dozen options, so Dad could point to the one(s) most appropriate.  

E.g. answers such as:

1.  Medicines don't seem to help.
2.  Medicines create side effects.
3.  House (a) checked recently, and okay    (b)  any issues?  snow needs removal, etc.

The biggest problem though was that staff (nurse, speech therapist or CNA) picked up the board when treating him, putting it somewhere out of his reach, and compromising his ability to communicate, probably w/o thinking that removing his only means of communication wasn't appropriate
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Tell the doctors as soon as possible. Try appealing methods of giving with food or deserts
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I had the same problem with my husband who has vascular dementia. He refused his medications, would hold them in his mouth and not swallow, or spit them out. I contacted his physicians and was told it was okay to crush them and put them in applesauce or yogurt. I have done this and the problem is resolved. He takes him meds very well mixed in a little applesauce. Good luck to you. ((((Hugs))))
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As long a no outsider knows that the medicines are given surreptitiously, and if no harm from the medicines have occurred, you can get away doing it. Suppose the patient dies from an accidental overdose or from a severe side effect, you will be in trouble. Because the medicine was administered without consent. It's a violation of the law.
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poodledoodle Apr 2022
1 of the medicines he’s taking on/off is anti-depressants. That’s almost like stopping cold turkey. It can create a backlash (suicidal thoughts). All such things must be stopped gradually.

This means he might be suicidal. A suicidal person doesn’t make good decisions.

The family has his best interests at heart. They would know, I think, what’s the best way forward. Worth saving his life, or not.
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As you can see, you are getting all sorts of conflicting opinions here, even from the same posters!!

Call this patient's DOCTOR for advice. And do NOT do anything that violates your own principles or code of ethics.

Also, take into consideration that your patient has a speech impediment from a stroke which likely means he has DEMENTIA caused from this stroke which means he is not able to make rational/logical decisions, nor are you able to use 'reason' or logic WITH him in order to arrive at a satisfactory conclusion with respect to him taking his meds properly or being given his meds properly.

Good luck.
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IMHO, I ask the question. Do you ever think that maybe the patient is within his rights and there maybe a good reason for not taking his meds? I, for one, have not had a stroke, have NO one to answer to and as soon as my husband passes, I am giving up my meds! I will NOT live the life that the old people are suffering to live in the HOME. I think it is ludicrous to live to be 100 and older. You don't even know who or WHAT you are and if I had a patient that did not want to take his medicine, I would respect his rights and let the family know that perhaps he wanted to go. Forcing a patient to take meds by sneaking them into his food is immoral and against nurses ethics.
Just me two cents worth.
Temper
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malenurse Apr 2022
precisely ethics is my concern as well. I was always taught to respect the patient, and respecting him must always come first, even if or perhaps especially if we don’t agree. That’s why this dilemma has kept me up at night, Thankfully, he has started taking his meds once more, he only wanted to test how it is without them. But even now, I contemplate on the fact that no medical personnel nor ambulance caregivers will ever administer healthcare service to anybody that refuses it and especially against their will.
Now the only argument in such cases is to be had is that: can he exert his will or is he outside mental faculties and if so, a court should mandate that someone else takes over their decisions. Anyway, even then, one can argue that no one is to take over anybody‘s body without consent or by sneakily drugging them
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Is your patient mentally competent? Can he indicate what his medications are for and the risks of stopping his medications? If he is not reliably mentally competent, please honor the wishes of his family - preferably the person who hold his medical power or attorney or medical surrogate paperwork.
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malenurse: I suggest that you pose this question to your patient's physician.
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Horseshoemama6 Apr 2022
We were in the same site with my dad in November 2021 the only difference he was in a very nice nursing home since August 2021. He knew he was at the end of life and as much as we wanted him to take his medicine he would refuse it he was just ready to be done he wasn’t living the quality of life he wanted to. Not to sound mean but I would tell his family by law you can’t make him and find away to tell them he is probably trying to tell you he is ready to go. It’s not something they to hear but unfortunately it’s the right thing to do in my opinion
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Can anyone in the family understand what he's saying? Can he write? Since he has a definite pattern for taking/not taking the meds - wonder if it could be he thinks it makes him feel bad, maybe he took it that way before to make cost of drugs stretch further. I would involve family or anyone who may have better communication ability with him to try and figure it out.

As his nurse, do you have ability to talk to his doctor? If so, I would not hide meds in his food without asking doctor how to handle this issue --- and if dr tells you to do that, ask him to confirm via writing so there are no questions later on.
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I take care of my mother-in-law 4 years.get plastic shot glasses put the meds in yourself and watch him take them.if he won't tell his family to talk to his Dr.He might take sense in him.he might have a little alzheimer's.he might think he's right she always does. Till I talk to her Dr and he talks to her.
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