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To start, I'm gonna just say there is bad blood. Hubby warned me not to take him in. Dad got himself evicted, due to a few details. That's another story, that's being dealt with. I won't get into it. Council area on aging came, and told us to not bother finishing the assessment, because he doesn't qualify.


Dad got hit by a car several months ago. Before he got hit by a car he was in and out of nursing homes. Council came out and said no to getting dad help with assisted living, the only one within his budget is Windmoor in Marion, and they lied to him. Plus, the council is going to speak to them about the receptionist being rude.


Back to the information, he's declining. I've had several people mention he MIGHT have dimentia. He keeps asking things, that I'm not qualified to help with. He's even asked me about medication.


That said, council again denied him. WE do NOT get along. He has good days and bad days. My family wants him out of our home, and I don't know where else to go. He had an episode and tried to drench one of my cats with a water bottle that I use for my plants. We phoned the non-emergency police, they came out said that we have no right to kick him out because he gets mail here. I am physically overwhelmed. I already take care of 3 of my boys who are disabled. I'm not getting into too much detail because I don't want to be judged. I'm at my wits end here. I should have never agreed to take care of him, UNOFFICIALLY. Especially, when he hates me and he hates it here.


Dad won't leave, we can't kick him out. He was evicted because he couldn't take care of himself, and now I made a mistake and let him in. What else can I do?

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I’m so sorry.

Laws need to change! It’s so ridiculous that you can’t kick him out because he receives mail there. How in the world does that make sense?

Others will chime in and give responses on how to best handle this type of situation.
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Can you open a p.o. box for him and re-direct his mail there? Does he show any confusion? hallucinations or delusions? You can either take him to your local ER and tell them no longer safe for him to be at home with you and you can't manage his care anymore. They will have to admit him and then find a facility to transfer him to. The other option is to call the police if he's showing any of the above behaviors and again emphasis concern for his/your safety. You need their assistance transferring him to the hospital as he's not compliant, increasingly hostile and aggressive, and you're requesting their assistance, etc.

You don't mention if you have POA. Who's the acting agent on his behalf?
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Call APS to see if they can get him placed. If he is unable to care for himself, and you are unable to care for him, it is obviously not a safe situation. Who is this Council?
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Get a Restraining Order, since he's acting abusive, aggressive and violent.
This is also a stupid CA law, if someone gets their mail there, they are legally a "tenant."
Yet his bad behavior will force him out with a Temporary RO, the police will be able to legally remove him, until the hearing (2 wks) and highly likely the Judge will grant the Order when you tell him your situation, good for 3 years.

You are already disabled yourself with young children. A Judge will sign it. He doesn't run the show in YOUR home. He sounds like a danger to himself and others (INCLUDING PETS). He should have money to find a place. Download the files off the County Court website, fill them out, and turn them in to Court Clerk. Judge will sign within 48 hrs, then serve him. If he blows up, call the police.
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Grandma1954 8/5/23 12:15pm
You need to legally evict him.
You can't "kick him out" so you have to have him legally evicted.

What you can do though if he takes a fall or is otherwise hospitalized you can say that you can no longer care for him in your home, it is not safe for you to continue to care for him. they can not discharge him if it is not safe.
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He needs to be evaluated for 24/7 care, if found he needs it, then he should be able to be placed in a Nursing home with Medicaid paying for his care.

Next time he is hospitalized, tell them he cannot return to your home. You cannot care for him. He needs to be evaluated for 24/7 care and placed in a NH. Don't allow them to tell u there is help out there, there isn't. Once you walk him out those hospital doors, he is ur responsibility.
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