My dad, after heart issues and diagnosed with dementia, he is only 73 years old, moves to a long term home tomorrow. He has been in hospital 5 months waiting for a bed. I did try to take care of him a few times, it was too difficult for me alone. Because of Covid I can not meet him there or set his room up. I just can’t take the heart break I am feeling for he and myself thinking of him. Drs. thought it best not to mention the move until morning. I’ve done research etc. and during covid feel lucky to find a place for him close to my home and his grandaughters. How will I know he is ok??? He has been everyone’s favorite and can do most things on his own. But needs 24/7 medication and meal preparation as well as needing a secure unit due to wanting to go home and wander. Any advice? After 14 days we can visit through glass.. but that doesn’t seem enough THANK YOU
Call him each day at a set time. Send him funny cards, drawings that the grands have made.
Covid has made these sorts of tough decisions even harder than they were before. ((((((((Hugs))))))))
Are you able to send him a care package? Notes and pictures (maybe a photo album) and cozy socks and a blanket or a relaxing ,color changing bedside light. Could he have an iPad (with a kid safety cover) where you could FaceTime?
Im sorry you’re going through this. Please update when you can. Huge hugs to you!!!
Does he have a CD player, or one of the more contemporary devices on which he can play his favorite songs? And will there be a tv in his room with a music only channel?
When a relative had cardiac surgery, I selected a few dozen cards from my collection, used the old rubber stamps that used to be popular a decade or so ago, and stamped the envelopes as close to the theme of the card as I could.
I had cards for good days, bad days, encouragement, just plain relaxation, etc. E.g., this was during the summer, so I chose cool cards, sea mammals and blue green themes, then wrote comments along with the rubber stamped animals and mammals.
I also had some MomCat stamps, a few showing MomCat working out (with comments for my relative not to even consider this until completely healed). It really was a lot of fun selecting the stamps and figuring out cute sayings.
Your father can open them, remember and think fondly of you, and hopefully not be as lonely.
Knowing that people are contacting her is a huge help. Plus last time I called I heard one of her MC neighbors helping her open the window, and he sounded very pleasant. She’s getting more interaction that she would in her own place, or mine ( which would also be impossible! ) Lastly...I’ve been sending her chocolate! Holiday chocolate, fun chocolate to share, etc...
Huge hugs and thank you for posting on this topic
She became friendly with the staff and asked if she could FaceTime with her mom everyday.
They agreed. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a nurse or social worker.
My friend said that the activity director has more time to volunteer for her request to help her mom FaceTime.
The nurses are swamped with work and won’t have time.
Best wishes to you and your family.
I must have made quite an impression on staff because about 18 mos later I got a call from the Admin stating that they had just developed a new job position and his staff suggested that I would be perfect for it! Took the job and had a blast with it - Resident Advocate - for 6 years until I retired.
You can call his nurse every day or two and see how he's doing.
I'm surprised that he was in the hospital for that long! 73 is a bit young for dementia but certainly not unheard of.
Best of luck!
Uplifting, comforting and consoling words can help him look forward to the days when you can be together again.
visit thru glass as often as you can
drop off specials treats and small gifts with notes.
make sure he’s got tv alexa iPad
it’s best we can do .. there’s no easy answers for this... good that he’s close to your place .. assure him he’s getting good care and is safe place... and check in with staff nurses regularly... everyday to start ... make sure everything okay with dad.
it’s difficult and sad for so many of us ... but we’re doing best we can with impossible situation .
good luck
for 2 weeks until he is cleared for COVID. After that time period, ask administration if they can set up "patio visits" where he can have in person visitors as long as everybody stay socially distanced.
Given his age and health problems, he should be able to receive the COVID vaccine soon. Please make sure he gets it. Then, visitation restrictions will be lessened later in the year.
Set up some facetime meetings and the window visits are a lot better than you THINK they are. My mother lives in Memory Care and we go over for a window visit every Sunday & it's FINE. She's sitting not 2 feet away from us & we're showing her photos of the great grandkids on our phones. I also bring her treats & snacks, new tops & necklaces, etc., and just brought her a bottle of Versace perfume for her 94th birthday.
It's all enough, what you're doing, so be happy he's alive and living in a safe environment. Ditch the guilt and the sorrow and find joy in the fact that you KNOW your dad will be well cared for moving forward and OUT of the hospital!
Good luck!