Yesterday, on March 16, 2022, I learned through an aunt that my mother, age 72, is in the hospital with covid. After much calling to area hospitals, I finally learned she is in Duke Regional in Roxboro, NC, and is in CCU on a ventilator and has been hospitalized since February 22, 2022.
My brother's girlfriend and his daughter are in charge of who the hospital gives information to, and the three of them have given instructions that my sister and I be told nothing.
Neither of us is capable of going to Roxboro. We are not asking to make end-of-life decisions, we only want to be able to call the hospital and ask about our mother. Granted, we do not feel it is right for my brother's girlfriend to make end-of-life decisions for our mother, however, at this point, we are only wanting to be updated on her condition.
We are both older than our brother and this is being done out of spite. After reaching out to my brother, he quickly responded it was none of our business and refused to say anything further.
*** I selected POA, but I do not know if my brother, his girlfriend, or his daughter are in possession of such. ***
My suggestion to you as a Nurse is to ask to speak to the Social Worker involved with your Mom's case. If she is on the ventilator for this long the chances are slight that she will be able to come off of it.
Tell the Social Worker that you are estranged from your brother, who is the only sibling living in the area, and that you did not know that your Mom is in the hospital until now. Ask if there is any way that you can get any information on your Mom's condition.
We here on Forum are always missing the water that flowed under the bridge. I can only assume that you were not close to Mom of late, either? It seems her sister, your Aunt, does have some information. You can try to throw yourself upon her mercy, telling her that whatever the situation is with Mom and brother you are concerned for your Mom and fearful, and if she can provide you with any information at all you hope she will.
You can send a nice note to brother, telling him the same and throwing yourself on his mercy, asking for any information you can get from him.
Your Mother is now unable to even know, almost certainly WHO is at the bedside. If the brother, her son has been caring for her, close to her, then likely the girlfriend is as well. Our partners count. It is your BROTHER, her SON making the decisions now, and to be very frank, with Covid-19, it matters little what "our decisions are" once it has hold of someone we love. Things will go as they go now, no matter how many family members want to fight or argue what is to be done in terms of "decisions".
I am so very sorry. I hope you will find someone who will inform you. It is always a tragedy when family cannot get together in times of trouble, but there is little you can do about any of this I suspect.
Call the Social Worker or "Case Manager" today, explain who you are. And, again, throw yourself upon any mercies you can find. I wish you the best.
It is common practice for a hospital to request only ONE family to call. The reason for this is that imagine if every patients gave 10-20 names to call. The hospital would be on the phone call day just doing calling and answering questions.
Sounds like you are getting information from an Aunt, and who is giving her the information? Is it the Aunt that said that your brother's girlfriend and daughter had instructed the hospital not to call you? Hospitals don't take instructions on who NOT to give out info..... information is only given to whomever was written down on a hospital HIPAA Privacy form {Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act}.
Could it be your brother is upset with the covid situation? Maybe he has been trying to get your Mother to get her shots, wear a mask, and not be in crowds, etc and Mom refused to take his advise. Just curious. That would make any family member vivid.