My mother lived in fear that he would commit suicide. He always used it as a ploy to get what he wanted from her. Now she is gone and expects to be taken care of by his siblings. He is destroying the house doesn't clean, won't even call in his meds. Has threatened me numerous times. He needs help and supervision that I cannot provide. My other siblings won't. Most of his issues revolve around a lifetime of drug abuse. With his mental health issues he also has high blood pressure. But thinks he is entitled for some reason to be catered to. Don't know where to turn. He destroys everything i fix or improve. And explodes when I say he needs to take responsibility or cleanup after himself. He is out of control and lazy. Act like he doesn't know how or doesn't understand stuff so he doesn't have to do it. I can't raise my older brother any longer! He takes 9 prescription medication and even expects me to get them out 3 times a day. Who can help me with this? He has become abusive.
"My mother died last year at 89 years old. I have 5 siblings. One of my brothers lived with my mother for 12 years and took horrible advantage of her. He is bipolar schizophrenic and would always threaten to kill himself if he did not get his way. We are a close family and losing one of her children was her worst fear. Now she is gone. She ask me to move into her home so repairs would be made and the house would be kept in family when it's paid for. My brother refuses to clean, actually he doesn't do anything. He won't pay his half of bills but instead spends 500+ dollars a month on over the counter speed pills. He is nasty and destroying the home. But depends on his siblings to cater to him for everything. What can I do? He destroys everything I do to improve and repair the house and has threatened me so much I put locks on my bedroom doors and have taken all sharp objects out of the home. But he sleeps with scissors and I know there are knives hidden in his room. He has a long history of this and kept my mother scared for years. What can I do. He out of control"
You can go through an eviction process (you go to the courthouse and get the form and pay the fee, then post the eviction notice on his bedroom door for 30 days). If on the 30th day he refuses to leave you call the police to escort him off your premises.
Or, the next time he destroys things in your house or threatens you, you call 911 and have him hauled away. Then you tell the hospital he is an unsafe discharge. Make sure no one goes to retrieve him to bring him to your house. If they do, you will need to evict him or keep calling the police. You make sure he understands that he needs to go to treatment and then to a sober house, not your home -- ever again.
You need to see that you and your siblings are enabling his addiction. You all are keeping him sick because you're preventing consequences for his choices and actions. He needs to meet up with reality so that he can have a recovery. Right now you all are preventing it.
Really nothing. His condition requieres psychotropic medications to keep his symptoms at a low level. Schizo-affective disorder is incurable, like diabetes or epilepsy. He needs to take medicines to control his symptoms. His behavior and mental reasoning won't be modified. As a matter of fact, they deteriorate further with age. He belongs somewhere else, not at your home. You can't throw him in the street either. Contact his psychiatrist or mental health clinic and ask for help to have him placed in a halfway house for the mentally ill.
I have seen many times family explain the 'label' but haven't understood the effects or severity on life skills.
Paying bills, keeping house, personal hygiene are skills requiring assistance & supervision.
'Lazy' is apathy/loss of motivation - part of the negative symptoms.
Most require supervised residential care, although some can live alone if very well supported. Many do not have insight to their needs - regardless of how often you point it out. It is part of their brain condition.
You cannot fix him or cure his condition.
You CAN advocate for his care by alerting his Doctor or Mental Health Case Manager that he is an adult at risk.
Many face crises after a parent dies, until appropriate residential care is found.
It may help to think of him as an adult with special needs - as he is. Without the right environment, he is like a child, trying to cope. But in a supportive group home, he could learn tasks at his level & hopefully florish.
I agree with the others -- he cannot live on his own, it's unsafe to live there with him, and you can neither fix nor help him. You need to detach emotionally from him, because you have to decide if you're going to let him terrorize you as he did your poor mother.