The tension in the house is bad. We are walking on eggshells whenever he comes out of his room or throws a cuss fit about something. He is in fair health. He has invested in our home and bought my only sibling a condo so I feel trapped. My brother lives far away and does not invite him to visit or live there. It is so hard to stay positive myself and not let my marriage, or my mental health, suffer. Any advice from someone trapped in this same box?
Seems it might be time to TT your brother about taking him for a period of time every year as he got a freebie too.
Or, buy him out of your home and then move him to AL, children should not be exposed to his behavior.
Why did he pay for your brother’s condo and invest in your home? Did he offer or did you ask for his help to purchase a home?
I don’t believe in mixing up funds because it can lead to trouble.
I’m grateful that my parents raised me to be independent. There were times when I struggled and worked two jobs but I had the satisfaction of not relying on my parents for help.
If you feel badly about accepting money from your father in order to buy your home, have you considered paying him a fair share of his money back and calling it even? Then ask him to move out and then you can live in peace in your own home.
If someone would have been able to change his behavior, it would have happened a long time ago.
They don’t change, no matter what you say to them, don’t say to them, do, don’t do, gray rock, whatever. They will not change.
(Ventingisback)
So what if he invested in your home. That does not give him a free pass to ruin everyone life in the house with his abusive behavior.
You and your husband have a talk. Do the two of you want him out of your home? If the answer is 'yes' tell him that his behavior will not be tolerated anymore and that he is moving out.
Offer to help him find a place.
If he throws a tantrum about it, tell him that you and your husband will legally evict him.
If you both want him to stay then you lay down some ground rules about his behavior.
You've got a senior brat on your hands. Give him a choice. Either he gets his act and behavior together or he leaves. Keep it simple.
He’s being mean to you. You know it: there is only one real solution: not to live together.
If you want to continue living together, there’s only one real solution: bump into him as little as possible.
The other real solution is either he cleans up his act and behavior, or he gets thrown out.