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Or do I stay at my house, where she and I are happier & safer? Mom has late stage Alzheimer's.

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NO. Dad is showing some very poor judgment and lack of Executive Function. Granted a husband has first rights over a daughter, but your circumstances are extraordinary and compelling.
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If safety is an issue, I'd say stay where you are. Safety takes precedence over happiness in my book!!
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If she is in Independent Living, he needs to move there.
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My mother has late stage Alzheimer's-sleeps most of the time with little activity -is keeping her comfortable my best service to her?
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