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Since I can remember, my mother has been sick. When I was younger she would pull me aside, say shes dying and having a heart attack. This occurred all the time. She was always fine.


As an adult I have lost patience and sympathy for her. She could get a paper cut and say she was stabbed. Or she says she has a stroke and is talking and communicating perfectly.


She is always in the ER, constantly dying, and every organ in her body has apparently shut down.


I have always thought this might be something psychological.

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I have found that in many and the cause I have found is loneliness, they will do anything to get attention from anyone know matter what the cost just to be around others.
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My mom used to do this all the time. She lived alone and constantly called her Drs office complaining of lightheadedness, chest pain, couldn't breath at all hours. They would have her come in when they were open and many times ordered ekg's and non-stress tests and all would be normal. Once they gave her nitroglycerin pills and she almost passed out and fell down the stairs after taking one (becasuse she didnt need them) Eventually she moved in with us-for money reasons. One day she clogged our toilet (long story behind it). She got me really upset-I went out for awhile to calm down. My husband called-said your Mom is being brough to the hospital. She was complaining she couldnt breath and said her chest hurt., he called an ambulance. Of course she was fine, ekg, blood work fine...that is when everything made sense...I figured out she had anxiety. At the time that this happened she had lived with me for 3yrs and never once had any health issue aside from early Alzheirmer's. Prior she had been to the ER four times on a yr for these same symptoms and six to her Drs office three ekgs and three non stress test. I explained the to the ER Dr. she agreed, cleared and released her.
So maybe your Mom has anxiety, try and think of what is gooing on in her life that may be triggering her health episodes.
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It sounds like she's a hypochondriac. Perhaps you can try and take her to a therapist?
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That's funny, I have the opposite problem. Mom reports no symptoms to me but when we get to the ER, she says she has this symptom and that symptom and I look like the most neglectful caregiver ever.
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You can just about predict when my mom will get "sick". It is usually following some illness of my dads. In her case we think she may be doing it for attention. It gets frustration because you never know for sure if she is really sick. I feel for you and completely understand your frustration. Last month she caught cold and told us she didn't know why the doctor didn't do anything for her as she was so sick and felt like she was dying. The doctor had perscribed a cough medicine to help with her congestion and cough. Her xrays came out fine- her blood work showed no sign of infection. We just give her a little extra attention and the illness magically goes away.
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My mother used to be somewhat like that. During my entire life it was always something. Her back hurt, her leg ached, her side hurt, etc. It would be one thing at a time and each one would go on for years. She had a light case of polio when she was a child (one of twelve children) and she learned she got more attention when she was sick. We had a doctor tell us once that she was a hypocondriac. Then he looked us in the eye and said "just because it is not real does not mean she does not feel pain". Her last problem was a pain in her side. Never a day went by that she didn't complain about it. Mother now has Alzheimer's and no longer remembers the pain in her side but that particular memory was the last to go.
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Loneliness, fear, and depression are frequent causes. Geriatric psychiatrists or psychologists who specialize in the elderly are wonderful. Most insurances will cover counseling. My father loved his weekly meetings to deal with losses (memory, no driving, strength, friends). Social activities from any source that seniors can count on weekly also help (volunteers, senior centers, meals on wheels, church, family, and friends). We used to line up visits and outings for my Dad as much as possible. It takes a village to care for elderly in today's society. They often feel alone and isolated and therefore, use illness as a way to get needed attention. Having said that, some people have an insatiable need for attention and boundary setting by family and friends is important and necessary.
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My father runs to the ER on a weekly basis for nothing. He claims it is constipation but I just can't imagine someone going that often for the same thing. He will continue to go until the ER staff start getting annoyed with the constant visits then he backs off for awhile. He is bored and lonely and wants attention. He was living alone so any ache or pain was 'the end' in his mind. I spent an entire year running to every doctor and ER visit with him until I finally caught on that this was all just for an outing and some attention. I went cold turkey on his ER visits.
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I have tried, but she gets defensive, and will not listen to a word I say.
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Mom2Mom,
I know exactly what you go through & are dealing with my mother was in hospital for 18 days in Feb. she was always calling me to come up & visit. But since then she was going to Emerg. Every Sunday for 9 weeks & last time she was in & out of hospital & on a Sunday, Monday & Tues early April after seeing the same Emerg doctor each time he finally admitted my mom to the hospital for a 4 day stay this time & they flushed out her bladder & they called in a specialist to see why her catheter was not working. So it has been 3 weeks without going to hospital on a Sunday, but today is not over but have fingers & toes crossed that there will be NO hospital visit today. I wish you luck .. I do have to agree sometimes I have back & watched my mom & she seems more active at hospital then at home... So that is where I think it has something to due with wanting More attention even if she doesn't realize it.
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