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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Let her have time to adjust. You don't mention how long she's been there but there is always a period of adjustment that depends upon her health, her mental status, her abilities and so forth.
Some folks want to visit their loved one everyday to help with the adjustment process, some don't visit much in the beginning in order to give their loved one time to adjust. Again, it depends on how your mom is. However, if you'd like to visit everyday be careful with that because your mom will come to depend on you being there everyday so if there will be days in the future when you can't make it that will be difficult on her.
When our parents go into a nursing home, our caregiving doesn't stop, it just gets different. So there's rarely the feeling of, "Whew! She's situated now. I can rest and relax." Unfortunately it doesn't usually work that way.
I used to send my dad cards when he went into a nursing home. I visited too of course but I would time the cards to arrive on a day when I wouldn't be there. He enjoyed that.
Er - well in that case, she has rather more pressing matters on her mind than merely being safe in a nursing home, don't you think?
Assuming that your mother is mentally "with it", I would say that nothing is more frightening than not knowing what is happening. Are any authorities such as the police or APS involved? Perhaps you could ask someone to come and give her an official situation report with a view to reassuring her as far as possible.
Thank you everyone for the helpful answers. I am working on moving her to a better home closer to me so I can visit more than once a week. It all happened so fast that we had little choice of nursing homes. Thank you!
Maybe helping her establish a routine would ground her & help her feel control. I went through the tv channels (often) for my mother, to write down when her fav shows were on. Get to know the names of all the aides who work with mom. I took my mother to the dining room & met her table-mates, also learned the shower schedule, (to make sure she got hers). She may like to have her hair done at the salon, help her learn the schedule & fees for salon. Encourage her to attend the activities that she likes (chart is posted near nurses desk). Maybe call her each day, to encourage. Take her outside if weather permits. Those ideas worked for me when my mother was temporarily in rehab due to broken pelvis. Hope all goes well.
Countrymouse is right - assuming she is "with it" of course she wants to know what is happening and what next steps are. Can you help her with that information?
Curious, where is brother? Since he threaten to burn down the house, is he now in a facility? Is the house his or Moms? I ask because if hers, evict him so she can have her caregivers back and be in her own home. Who placed her in a NH.
Unfortunately she co-owns house with my brother, who treats it as if he is the sole owner. He was cruel to her & I tried to get Mom to agree to make him sell the house so she could use the $$ to live somewhere nice, but she won’t do that. Brother refuses all treatment for addiction or anger management. The day Mom left he was wrecking things in the house & lighting things on fire in the driveway. Adult protective services found her a bed in a home because it was too dangerous for her or the caregivers to stay there. The police came & told brother if they were called again they’d arrest him. My poor Mom had to witness all this.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Some folks want to visit their loved one everyday to help with the adjustment process, some don't visit much in the beginning in order to give their loved one time to adjust. Again, it depends on how your mom is. However, if you'd like to visit everyday be careful with that because your mom will come to depend on you being there everyday so if there will be days in the future when you can't make it that will be difficult on her.
When our parents go into a nursing home, our caregiving doesn't stop, it just gets different. So there's rarely the feeling of, "Whew! She's situated now. I can rest and relax." Unfortunately it doesn't usually work that way.
I used to send my dad cards when he went into a nursing home. I visited too of course but I would time the cards to arrive on a day when I wouldn't be there. He enjoyed that.
Assuming that your mother is mentally "with it", I would say that nothing is more frightening than not knowing what is happening. Are any authorities such as the police or APS involved? Perhaps you could ask someone to come and give her an official situation report with a view to reassuring her as far as possible.
What's the plan for next steps?