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Her psychiatrist must be informed today that she is out of control.
What medications is she taking?
Is she a threat to herself or to others? If she's said anything about wanting to die or saying anything about killing someone, then call 911 and have her involentarily committed.
I sure hope that you or someone has medical POA in this situation. If you have it, then tell the doctors and the mental health ward that you have it as well as tell them what has been going on and about her talking her way out of the ward.
Also, while I'm not a therapist, this ability to talk her way out of the ward sounds to me like she is capable of wearing various masks that fit the situation and maybe reason to supect a secondary diagnosis along with bi-polar.
Mental wards normally only keep a person for as long as needed to adjust their meds. It's far more difficult to have someone committed to a hospital for the mentally ill for the rest of their life.
I lived on an island that had two bipolars who acted out dramatically. The sheriffs would see their cars near a bar and let the air out of their tires. There were instances where interventions were staged and the manic person got so upset, she threw an ashtray. Gotcha. 51/50.
A very talented pianist would escape the sheriff's net to Skid Row in Seattle where she would blend in with the homeless characters. I knew she'd seek out a piano, so I called the Steinway store to watch out for a charismatic older lady playing brilliantly for what looked like bums. What a brilliant idea that was, for she came in not a half hour later to entertain her friends. She had a warrant for her arrest, but she got away before the cops came.
It's amazing how BRILLIANT a bipolar person can be when they need to defend their freedom and turf. working with them was like entering ToonTown, from that full length cartoon/life action movie made many years ago.
In extreme mania, people with bi-polar I sometimes become psychotic and their 'brilliance' leads them to attempt super-human things which they are convinced that they are capable of.
Since this does not sound like a once and done deal, you must have been going through hell before your mom was placed in the mental ward. If possible you need to find a support network in your community. Bi-Polar is not too different from Addiction in how it affects the individual and family members so if there is not a support group for bi-polar personalities, then try an Al-anon 12-step meeting. They will understand what you are going through and provide some very helpful insight on how to deal with your mom. The very worst thing you could do right now is to go into denial and begin to accept your mom's behavior as "normal" or believe that doctors and hospitals are out to get her in some way. Stay strong and firm in your resolve to face this head on and deal with it, not only for your own sake but for your mom's sake as well.
I don't know what state you are in but there should be a NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) in your state with affiliates in an area near you wtih family members who can offer you support. The easiest way to find out where is to go to NAMI.org, click on finding your local NAMI. click on your state and go from there.
Very often the Mental Health Association of your state will have a county office which can be helpful to.
At the last resort, if there is nothing to be found, there are support groups like this online for people who have a family member with bi-polar disorder.
Sometimes, but not always bi-polar is missdiagnosed for Borderline Personality Disorder and sometimes can be a secondary diagnosis as well. This is where it gets real tricky.
One thing for sure, don't enable this by just seeing how long you can put up with these mood swings. Get her some help for right now and find yourself some help to deal with all of this in the most healthy manner possible for here on.
Yes, from what I have learned, Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality DIsorder can overlap, or appear similar to one another. We are doing a person with such a diagnosis no favor if we continually tolerate behavior which is mal-productive for everyone concerned. If a person with this diagnosis is "acting out" and attempting to intimidate us and manipulate us, thereby stirring up trouble, we need to set firm boundaries with this person. Firm boundaries can be set lovingly too. In fact they are more likely to "work" if we set our firm boundaries out of love. Crowe's idea of contacting the psychiatrist is excellent. He/She would have the clout needed to manage your mother's situation. My final word to you would be to say....Do not be frightened or thrown off-balance by your mother's behavior. You need to trust your instincts and be strong in order to help her and manage her care.
You are the only one who knows if your Mom is playing you and in what tactics she trys to do this...you HAVE to set your foot down and let her know any and all out of the ordinary actions on her part will not be tolerated. Trust me, I know what you are going through. My Mother is the same way. When my Mom acts up, I call the police. It took many, many incidents for me to decide to finally do it. And since the chief of police has threatened to restrain her and take her to jail, she hasn't been doing the things she THOUGHT she could get away with by being the "frail little thing" she wants people to "think" she is. I know it's hard, but you have to get tough, and sometimes it takes tough love to get a grasp of a situation such as this. If your Mom talked her way out of the behavioral medicines floor at a hospital, she has more marbles than you or a doctor think she has. Look at it this way, if her freedom is threatened, she behaves and does what she is suppose to do to KEEP that freedom. It may hurt when you do call police, but you have to do it. She will continue to behave in such a manner and you will continue to allow it until something happens that could have been prevented by just calling the police. If they have to take her back to the hospital each and every time, then so be it. She will eventually learn acting up will get her a trip back to the hospital, and she WILL stop. You can't make her take her meds, if she will, God bless you. At least you have an edge on MY situation...my Mom refuses to take any and all meds, in her words, they are poisoning her, killing her, making her go to sleep, etc. etc. And I have tried putting the Abilify in her coffee, without her knowledge. Guess what? She figured that one out real quick. You have to remember, doctors are not God's. Just because a doctor diagnoses a psycological disease, doesn't mean they have it. There are also diets that help with brain function, certain foods or vitamins that she might not be getting to get the nutrients her brain needs. Exercise releases endorphins, which is very beneficial to not only the elderly, but all human beings.
Thanks people for the comments and suggestions; I appreciate the feedback. In response, she is non-compliant with any medical orders or medications, and imagines that she has either a brain tumor or a brain hemorrhage. She calls the doctor a dozen times a day telling them she needs a Rx for an ambulance to take her to a specialty clinic 4 hours away.
She should not be driving, but does, got a car impounded, then bought another one. Sold all her furniture, put stuff in storage and moved out of her apartment into a motel full of crackheads and hookers. We 2 daughters are at our wits' end, again. This downward spiral of craziness has been going for about 6 mos this time. The last time, she bought a house in another state that she couldn't afford.
Im certain she does not get the nutrition she needs; she subsists on coffee and cigarettes, swearing that "nicotine helps her brain." At one point she "said" she was eating cigarettes for the nicotine. It is good to just have a place to say these things, which are all true. If I try to tell this to others, it sounds like I am crazy! Happy day everyone.
At least she isn't marching guard duty at the neighbor's house dressed in a kilt. Or coming to me in a restaurant carrying his doctors' bag, telling me there is a dead baby inside. Or IS she. Anyway, I threw myself at trying to save the woman friend from herself for about six months. Lost income,sleep and got threats and insults as a result. It can be quite a game. I used to joke with her daughter who lived across the country that I was going to paint a fake "tunnel" like they do in the roadrunner cartoons, and she could go running into it and SPLAT, we could catch her.
So you really need another 51/50 on her. Oh, there was another dude who was psychotic living on my island. The sheriff said that he was allowed to live on his own even though much of his house was ankle deep in S**T. Lunatics have a lot of rights to go and act crazy, as you are finding out. HOpe you find a ploy that will stick.
Thanks Crowe and AlzCare, for the info. Yes, she does have those delusions of grandeur. She bought $15,000+ of jewelry, shoes, clothing, furniture to open a boutique with her daughter, but daughter had no intention of doing so. We were able to return about $4,ooo of it, and she is mad at us for doing that behind her back (when she was in stir.)
Nobody has POA,. sadly. She is smart and knows the illness forward and backward, and gets furious if someone tells her she is manic. She did have a psychotic episode 8 yrs ago in another state and was in mental hosp for 7 wks.
Her health is very poor, she has a cellulitis of the legs, making it difficult to walk, but doesn't take care of it, uses 1 or 2 canes, sometimes a walker. She is 65 but looks 90. Stopped bathing as she couldn't step over side of tub without help, but she ran all the help off cursing and trying to hit them.
Not sure about how this is diagnosed, but it is very hard for anyone to diagnose when she lies, pretends and imagines all sorts of symptoms...such as bleeding from every orifice!! She has said that dozens of times. Yikes...thanks again you-all....happy day.
Well, not doing any of THose crazy things, But we did hear someone saw her the other day dressed like this (mind you she is 65): knee length spandex pants, see thru blouse, backless high heels, 8 necklaces, bracelets all the way up her arm, dark makeup and lipstick outside the lines like Bette Davis in "Baby Jane." Said she looked like a gypsy hooker. Oh my. Sister stopped paying her cell phone, had it turned off, and mom showed up at her place at 11 pm, banging on the door til she answered it. Sister moved to a nearby town recently, but mom followed her and found out where she moved to! Darn, the painted tunnel sounds good! Very funny, and we hafta laugh to keep from bawling while tearing our hair out! Happy day!
Ann123...Impossible to set boundaries...well I can try to set them, but she doesn't listen to anything but the tapes playing in her head. If you interrupt her monologues, she curses at you or hangs up. She called me the other day to tell me some things that were not true, and when I tried to interject something, she says, "shut the F--- up, it is MY turn to talk!!" Impossible...she is the genius, but only in HER head. Now her new mantra is: I am free, white and 21, and can do any damn thing I want! Don't try to tell me what to do! Thanks for the suggestions! Happy day
If she talked herself out of a mental ward, tha means she must have put herself in the mental ward. Talk to her doctors, and an attorney to get power of attorney and guardianship over her to put her back in the hosptial/mental ward or a nursing home for mental patients.
tell a social worker or her doctor about this, that you need her and that you don't want to be legally responsible by her if something happens because they let her out. maybe legal advice could help you.
In my state no matter how crazy a person is if when an ambulance come to take them to a hospital and they turn the crazyness off and act normel they will not go anywhere I have MD'S and PHD's and social workers and NP's tell me to call 911 when he was alive and they would take him to a physch ward but that is not true ambulance drivers and the police will not and can not if the person acts normal when they arrive bi-polar are usually very bright and can turn it on and off esp. taking too many pain pills and cafine pills-I went through hell for a long time with this when he was in the nursing home or hospital no MD would even listen to me-he would tell them he was fine but his wife was crazy-and calls to sucide help lines would result in them telling me to call an abulance-and as I said an EMT or Paramedic will not take aperson who is acting normal when they come,
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What medications is she taking?
Is she a threat to herself or to others? If she's said anything about wanting to die or saying anything about killing someone, then call 911 and have her involentarily committed.
I sure hope that you or someone has medical POA in this situation. If you have it, then tell the doctors and the mental health ward that you have it as well as tell them what has been going on and about her talking her way out of the ward.
Also, while I'm not a therapist, this ability to talk her way out of the ward sounds to me like she is capable of wearing various masks that fit the situation and maybe reason to supect a secondary diagnosis along with bi-polar.
Mental wards normally only keep a person for as long as needed to adjust their meds. It's far more difficult to have someone committed to a hospital for the mentally ill for the rest of their life.
Keep us posted as to what is going on.
A very talented pianist would escape the sheriff's net to Skid Row in Seattle where she would blend in with the homeless characters. I knew she'd seek out a piano, so I called the Steinway store to watch out for a charismatic older lady playing brilliantly for what looked like bums. What a brilliant idea that was, for she came in not a half hour later to entertain her friends. She had a warrant for her arrest, but she got away before the cops came.
It's amazing how BRILLIANT a bipolar person can be when they need to defend their freedom and turf. working with them was like entering ToonTown, from that full length cartoon/life action movie made many years ago.
Very often the Mental Health Association of your state will have a county office which can be helpful to.
At the last resort, if there is nothing to be found, there are support groups like this online for people who have a family member with bi-polar disorder.
Sometimes, but not always bi-polar is missdiagnosed for Borderline Personality Disorder and sometimes can be a secondary diagnosis as well. This is where it gets real tricky.
One thing for sure, don't enable this by just seeing how long you can put up with these mood swings. Get her some help for right now and find yourself some help to deal with all of this in the most healthy manner possible for here on.
If your Mom talked her way out of the behavioral medicines floor at a hospital, she has more marbles than you or a doctor think she has. Look at it this way, if her freedom is threatened, she behaves and does what she is suppose to do to KEEP that freedom. It may hurt when you do call police, but you have to do it. She will continue to behave in such a manner and you will continue to allow it until something happens that could have been prevented by just calling the police. If they have to take her back to the hospital each and every time, then so be it. She will eventually learn acting up will get her a trip back to the hospital, and she WILL stop.
You can't make her take her meds, if she will, God bless you. At least you have an edge on MY situation...my Mom refuses to take any and all meds, in her words, they are poisoning her, killing her, making her go to sleep, etc. etc. And I have tried putting the Abilify in her coffee, without her knowledge. Guess what? She figured that one out real quick.
You have to remember, doctors are not God's. Just because a doctor diagnoses a psycological disease, doesn't mean they have it. There are also diets that help with brain function, certain foods or vitamins that she might not be getting to get the nutrients her brain needs. Exercise releases endorphins, which is very beneficial to not only the elderly, but all human beings.
She should not be driving, but does, got a car impounded, then bought another one. Sold all her furniture, put stuff in storage and moved out of her apartment into a motel full of crackheads and hookers. We 2 daughters are at our wits' end, again. This downward spiral of craziness has been going for about 6 mos this time. The last time, she bought a house in another state that she couldn't afford.
Im certain she does not get the nutrition she needs; she subsists on coffee and cigarettes, swearing that "nicotine helps her brain." At one point she "said" she was eating cigarettes for the nicotine. It is good to just have a place to say these things, which are all true. If I try to tell this to others, it sounds like I am crazy! Happy day everyone.
So you really need another 51/50 on her. Oh, there was another dude who was psychotic living on my island. The sheriff said that he was allowed to live on his own even though much of his house was ankle deep in S**T. Lunatics have a lot of rights to go and act crazy, as you are finding out. HOpe you find a ploy that will stick.
Nobody has POA,. sadly. She is smart and knows the illness forward and backward, and gets furious if someone tells her she is manic. She did have a psychotic episode 8 yrs ago in another state and was in mental hosp for 7 wks.
Her health is very poor, she has a cellulitis of the legs, making it difficult to walk, but doesn't take care of it, uses 1 or 2 canes, sometimes a walker. She is 65 but looks 90. Stopped bathing as she couldn't step over side of tub without help, but she ran all the help off cursing and trying to hit them.
Not sure about how this is diagnosed, but it is very hard for anyone to diagnose when she lies, pretends and imagines all sorts of symptoms...such as bleeding from every orifice!! She has said that dozens of times. Yikes...thanks again you-all....happy day.