Follow
Share

Hi again allI wrote last week about my mom being placed in a SNF after a fracture and surgery, and her inability to get used to it. She finally did.
However yesterday I witnessed an absolute nightmare. My sister came to town and we went in to see her and she spouted absolute nonsense and gibberish words. She thought our dog was with me, talked about people I'd never heard of before, told us not to turn her upside down. You can see where this is going. She of course did the lashing out at me, sounding desperate, all that. I know what's talking, and I have a thick skin.
I want to hope it's medication - particularly pain ones, that are doing this, but this appeared to be dementia. Nothing more or less. My sister and her husband were shocked when we went out to the parking lot.
Mom will be placed after this is all over, but is a sudden cognitive decline possible? Literally Friday she was fine. Saturday she didn't make one bit of sense. Not much today either. And she had a lot of pain, which the place controlled. This SNF is an absolute miracle. I can't say enough about it.
Your thoughts are appreciated.

Find Care & Housing
WOW! You are a God Send! Good for you with the thick skin! I had to be like that too. My siblings whimpered every time my parents said or did something out of the ordinary. At least your sister and brother in law saw it for themselves. Hopefully, in the future they can see the better side. Some siblings don't even want to acknowledge it after they have seen it!
Anyway, your doing great and know I said a prayer for continued strength for you! blessings!
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Ohwow323
Report
GoodDaySunshine Sep 30, 2024
My mom was one of those verbally and emotionally abusive types. I got therapy for it and it helped me tremendously. I did all the things - when she got abusive it was either, "I'm leaving you can call me when you're civil," and "Gotta put the phone down now, bye." She hated that boundary at first, but I stood firm on it, and the behavior stopped. So she can mouth off all she likes, even in this new/weird state. It's a walk away or a hang up now. For the most part, she's ok with me. When I hold my boundary she doesn't play the game anymore.

Thanks for your support - the place is absolutely wonderful, they like her, and she likes them. If she indeed has declined mentally, she's in a nice safe space for it, and I can be at peace with all the decisions I've made.
(1)
Report
Has her facility checked your mom for a UTI, as often that can cause dementia type symptoms? I would most certainly start there, as they are so very common with folks that live in any nursing facilities.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report

This is sudden. Often in medical situations there is a catheterization for urine procedure that you may not even have been aware of. These are notorious for causing UTIs. Ask that her urine be tested asap for a UTI. Report this sudden change.

This could be anything. Medications? Hospital induced psychosis? Just anything at all.
Hope you will update after you speak to someone if this continues. I am SOOOO thankful she is in a great place.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

If, after checking for the notorious UTI, she is found to be "OK", then perhaps this behavior is the 'new norm'.

Some people progress downhill very slowly, some take huge downwards spirals, then settle there for a while.

Sadly, it just is what it is.

Yes, you asked and answered your own question: Sudden cognitive declines are not uncommon and very possible.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Midkid58
Report
GoodDaySunshine Sep 30, 2024
The more I research (and ask here) the more I am finding out.
I've accepted it, believe it or not, because at some point this would be inevitable. Mom did not live a healthy lifestyle, physically or mentally - not sure how much difference it makes but it would have helped somewhere, I'm sure... I'm POA and I told the facility (who has the copy) "Mom is no longer making decisions, you need to call me."
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
My FIL had dementia after receiving anesthesia during surgery. Usually this sort of dementia is temporary, but temporary can mean months.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to OncehatedDIL
Report
GoodDaySunshine Sep 30, 2024
All true. If this is what we're facing, as I mentioned before she's a happy, laughing, hey-I-got-a-joke-for-you dementia patient. And I don't know what happened here either but she finally after all these years looked at me and said, "I've worn you out." So, her brain really must be broken...

Hard to accept, but I'll have to, probably radically, but I will.
(0)
Report
Therevis also hospital delirium. I would talk to one of the RNs.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Hi all - major UTI as suspected. She’s back in the hospital. No clue as to what she’s saying or doing. This is really awful. She tried to get out of bed at the SNF and fell. I was at the ED with her for 8 hours overnight. Not the SNF’s fault, they had been watching and caring for her but she was determined.

She’s in a good place now, I talked to the nurse this morning, and said “no cell phone today,” because she called me 20 times yesterday. It does nothing but agitate and upset her and she doesn’t rest adequately (nor do I) and the nurse agreed. But of course before I told her this, Mom flanagled the use of the room phone to call me, started getting agitated, weepy, but as soon as a nurse came in to talk to her, “Oh hi! How y’all today! Ain’t it a great day!”

Nurse told me she’s seen this a million times in the elderly and that hopefully after the next dose of antibiotics she’ll start to be a little more clear…
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to GoodDaySunshine
Report

Make sure a culture is done to find the right antibiotic and she needs IV antibiotics.

Unless thecroombphone is another patients, it can be taken out of the room.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

GoodDaySunshine: Your mother requires a complete urinalysis and not a simple dip stick test to rule out a U.T.I.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Llamalover47
Report

GoodDaySunshine: I saw your post wherein you stated that your mother has a major U.T.I. too late as far as my prior post. Prayers sent.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Llamalover47
Report

Thanks all for your responses - you'll see in my followup that mom has sepsis, and is majorly impaired, although today the doctor says she's "a little more lucid" in that she knows where she is, but still confused.

She's had excellent care both at the SNF and in the hospital, I personally witnessed the nurses handling her yesterday both of whom told me "we see this ALL THE TIME."

So this prompts me to start making some healthy lifestyle changes - not that I don't already. Won't guarantee, but won't hurt either...
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to GoodDaySunshine
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter