My mom (89) re-married 15 years ago, he's 90. I just discovered he's been having her sign checks. He's cashed over $50k from her acct. Appears this started right around or soon after she was diagnosed with Alzhiemers in 2014 and checks he's cashing have gotten larger over the last couple of years. They have a pre-nup agreement stating that they're keeping their financial matters separate. I am my mom's financial POA -that's how I discovered this as I recently took over her finances due to her declining memory. Since they are married and somehow he apparently gets her to agree to sign blank checks, then he fills them out and cashes them... do I have any recourse legally or otherwise against him?
Get the checkbook away from her and lock down the money, credit cards etc. Tell hubby you are watching wI'll take legal action if you see anything funny. Matter of fact, talk to an attorney now about this mess.
Since your Mom and Step-Dad have been married 15 years, then any funds/houses/cars/etc they have obtained over those 15 years are used by both of them however they see fit.
As for the cost of living elderly, especially with around the clock caregivers and other outside help, for my Dad it was costing him over $20k a month. Once he wanted to move to senior living [yes, his idea] the cost was cut more than half. And the house sold, thus giving him funds to continue in the senior living.
I also wonder, as did cwillie above, if either your Mom and/or Step-Dad need to apply for Medicaid to help pay for higher level of health care, Medicaid could turn them down because of money "gifts" to the sons.