My mom is 86 and dying. Hospice comes in just about everyday, and they update me as to how much time they think she has left. She's starting to breathe harder and I'm getting scared. I have been with her my entire life and became her caregiver about ten years ago. She's in a coma right now. I have to roll her over every few hours. I'm here alone with her, so they told me to do it every four hours, so I could try to sleep. I'm scared I'll go crazy and not be able to function. I'm going to have to get another job a couple of weeks after her death, since my I was a paid caregiver for mom. I want to make it through the grief, but I'm scared that I won't be able to handle it. Anyone felt that way?
Do you have someone who can come be with you? This is a lot to handle all alone.
You will be OK. The grief is normal and you'll get through it. I have no real words of comfort--I do hope you have a friend or some family to be there for you. It won't be easy, but it will be OK.
Prayers for you tonight.
Be there for her. As long as you have done your best, it will be enough.
If you have no one then try a church. A group of some type? It will take time and we all have to face bed things. It is what defines us.
I send you hope and strength for the future.
Try to look at it this way.... you'll manage to be able to go on without Mom the same way your Mom did when her own Mother had passed, and her Mother's mother had passed.
Once everything settles down, hold your head up high, go out and get that new job, and make your Mom proud once again. In a way, you won't be alone, Mom's spirit will be there for you.
My Dad's spirit will show up in the house when I noticed something had been moved just a tiny bit, just enough that I know about. One day my late parent's old chime mantel clock chimed once, strange since it hadn't chimes in years. One day when opening the front drapes which are on rings, I felt a hand on top of my hand helping me, and it didn't scare me. Thanks, Dad.
When I found myself with a lot of free time, I dove into the family history which I found very fascinating. I had signed up for Ancestry.com. Lot of very interesting great great uncles and aunts. For example, a female relative who had her degree in chemistry back in the very early 1900's, school teaching was her only career choice.... yet, her brother who also had a degree in chemistry had a high level job in a corporation.
This is a difficult season to go through in life, but you will be ok and get through it. Do find a bible believing church. Will pray for you and yours. May God give you strength and courage. You are not alone. So sorry
Thinking of you during this difficult time. I hope a trusted friend or family member can be with you. I just want to add my support. Sending you love and hugs.
May sweet memories of your mother bring you peace. We're right there with you.