She has recently begun to leak urine and her mattress is soaked. I do not know where to turn except social services. I am unable to get through on the phone to social services. I am willing to wait until she is confined to the hospital but I must have her removed from our home at some point. I hate to have her forcibly removed from the house. Or do they even remove people who have nowhere to go the nursing home? She has been living with us for 4 years and she is 76 years old. My mother will be traumatized by her leaving. Yet I do feel morally obligated to put a stop to this. Should I wait till she is hospitalized to act? What are my options?
If you try and find yourself blocked out, at least you will have tried. Sorry to see you having to try to deal with a mess like this. There is a strong predisposition in the system to let competent adults live life as they choose until it is well beyond the point of danger to self and others, for better or for worse.
It sounds as though you are having to make some difficult choices about all your living arrangements going forward... would you be hiring another live in aide, move mom to assistive living or bring in an hourly home-care agency?
As to her room...legally, that is her private property. However, I wouldn't worry about 'legally.' Take photos before you start and clean away.
You've got a real mess on your hands in more ways than one.
I did not know that you could not edit your post once posted. I have a number of errors in my grammatical errors in my previous post.
I live in the house also & have since it was built. I was the caregiver for my grandmother & stepfather but they have passed on. Mom's health is not good but the worst problem she has is the short term memory loss poor judgement. She has had one major stroke and global strokes according to MRI.
Perhaps this will enable you to see why I feel responsible for her welfare. And she will be hospitalized periodicly. Frankly I will miss the companion's help as she help mom in spite of her disabilities. Mostly as a companion. But her room, which we are not allowed to view at all is a shambles and smells. She does not pay any expenses but that is acceptable to mom and to me both.
You don't say anything about the condition of your own mother... would she be able to cope on her own? Might it be time for both of them to consider assistive living? You say she has been living with "us", do you live with them also, is this your home or your mother's? If it is your mother's home she has the right to share it with whomever she chooses, if it is yours know that you will have to go through a formal eviction process, this woman has the same rights as any tenant. Having her "forcibly removed" is not an option.