Have you dealt with trying to move a parent in with you but knowing that his/her 3 cats are not going to work in your house? Am I being unfair? I have 2 dogs, Mom's 3 cats tend to urinate in the house and I do NOT want that in my house!! Can you think of a compromise?
Get the cats checked out by a vet. There is the possibility that the cats have medical issues causing the urination issues. Further, in their current situation they may be stressed, and the urination issue could be ameliorated with diet and medication.
A vet can certainly give you guidance on how to make the move for these creatures less upsetting for all concerned-including your dogs.
While I understand and empathize with your issue, please consider that the cats are important to your mom, and deserve to be covered under the umbrella of your care and compassion for her.
As an aside, a friend of mine took his mother's semi-feral, much-loved cat when she had to go into a locked memory care facility. Initially it was a hassle, and upsetting to his other two cats, but water finds it own level and things eventually settled down. It gives him comfort to know he stepped up and did the right thing by his mom in caring for the little creature who she loved so dearly.
I wish you well.
Do a search on his website:
https://drfoxvet.net/category/pet-care/
Cat litter box issues - (here is an article I saved might help you)
Dear Dr. Fox: When it comes to litter boxes, I don’t understand the “rule” of one per cat, plus an extra. I have two litter boxes for my two cats, but both use the same one — even if it’s already been used. In my previous apartment, there was no room for more than one box, and even in the house where I had two boxes on each floor, they both used the same one most of the time. I use newspaper instead of purchasing litter; I started with shredded and now use whole sheets that they enjoy shredding themselves. It’s very absorbent and cuts the foul stool odor after a short while.
— I.I., Hendersonville, North Carolina
Dear I.I.: I do not know from which cat expert you received this advice about cat litter boxes, but my experts are my own cats. They will share a litter box amicably and without any complications — such as pooping outside the box — provided the box is cleaned out three to four times a day.
I feel for those poor cats whose boxes are not kept clean so they must poke around in their own waste to dig a pit to evacuate and then to cover. Just as bad is having to enter a covered box that has not been kept clean, filled with the fumes of acrid urine and feces. This does contribute to cats developing cystitis from holding their urine; to urinating elsewhere in the home, which is a death sentence for many cats; and to constipation and aversion of using the litter box.
For details, see my article “Cat Litter Box” on this complex but essential aspect of caring for cats posted on my website, DrFoxVet.net.
I have a neighbor that has a cat that craps on her bathroom rug. It will come in after being outside for hours and do this. I don't think that is a medical problem, I think it is an attitude problem.
It is hard to change animals toilet habits. It can be done with a lot of attention and work, but I don't see how 3 could be dealt with.
Separating them might give them a chance.
1. Mother, you can keep all of your cats.
2. Mother, you are not moving in with hubby and me.
3. Mother, you are going to use some of your money to pay for in-home services and transportation using Uber/Lyft/Taxicabs/Horse-and-buggy.
4. Mother, I will help you manage your personal affairs and finances.
5. Mother, I will visit you and your cats as often as I can, but I am not going to become your 24/7 caregiver.
6. Mother, we will revisit this arrangement in 6 months time.
7. Mother, the assisted living that accepts pets is still on the table.
Cats that pee outside their litter box have issues. Often they don't like the conditions in which they are being kept. I adore my cats and would never give them up. My husband was allergic and he took allergy shots! He's not allergic anymore!!
I had one cat (female) long ago who would raise her butt up while she was going. If the butt end was facing the lower side/entrance, it would sprinkle outside the box. The solution for that is larger boxes. Urinating around but outside the box, or some other place, some detective work might be needed. Medical issue(s), of which there are many, personality issues, etc can be figured and or ruled out. It would be best to at least make the attempt to rule out the cause(s) before making any moves.
The line regarding not taking them into your home still stands. This is what mom must come to terms with. Even if the cause of urinating can be found/treated, just the move alone could bring on more/other issues (this applies to AL as well.)
If mom has her own home or even a multi-room apartment and moves to AL (maybe single room, maybe a little more spacious) or a single room in your home (most likely even if you capitulated and let them come along, they would be restricted to her room), this could lead to some undesired consequences. The move itself can upset their routine/security, and if their "space" is reduced, this could also lead to unwanted behavior(s.)
Is staying in her own home with hired care-givers an option? If she lives too far from your home for you to fill in some of the care-giving, could she sell her place/move closer, but still remain in her own place with her kitties and some hired outside help?
If these things do not work, reach out to local cat rescues for help to try to place the cats in homes. Do not expect instant turn-around, but many people are more sympathetic to your situation (mother needing to move in with you) than you might think. There are some rescues in urban areas that place a lot of cats and they might be able to help. They can also try things like isolating the cats in cages with litter boxes close and see if they still pee outside the box--it is sort of a re-training.
With regard to getting rid of the odor. If it has soaked into the carpet padding, my experience is it will have to be ripped up and disposed of. The hard surface underneath (or any hard surface) may be salvageable using Nature's Miracle Cat Urine deodorizer. It is available at most pet stores and on Amazon, and is really quite good.
I think if heatherking's husband does not want cats, that there is no way that bringing in 3 cats that urinate out of the litter box for whatever reason is going to be a good idea. Also, poster does not want the cats.
I would not do it. ever. I'd work hard to rehome the cats, but if mom had to be in my house, she would have to come without the cats. I still say she and DH are compromising by letting mom move in. That's a huge give.
I hope that helps. I know its not easy but like you said - its a compromise.
My ex and my mother decided she would move in with us. It lead to divorce. I left them there and never looked back. What kind of emotional climate would it be to live with a man who felt so disrespected. If the mother can't give up her cats, then other arrangements need to be made.
I vote for finding some other arrangements for the cats. I am against having your mother live with you anyway. You lose all your privacy.