Mom with dementia is obsessing over feeling there is something coating her teeth when there is nothing there. Anyone else have this issue?
Mom is 91 and diagnosed with dementia/Altzheimer's. She had a hallucination that a man came in and pushed a bag of yard clippings in her mouth that included grass, dirt, leaves and feathers. That has progressed to paste or glue now. Her teeth were in bad shape and we have been to the dentist, teeth have been cleaned and several removed. Now in the process of getting partials. Mom is obsessed with the paste or glue she now feels and is angry and doesn't understand why the dentists don't do anything. I keep trying to gently tell her if they saw anything they would have removed it. She obsessively brushes her teeth multiple times a day and uses her tongue and fingernail to try to break thru whatever she believes is there and gets very distraught.
Has anyone had this issue or a similar experience?
Mom lives in Oregon alone with her dog since my dad passed, about 6 hrs from my California home and stays with me from mid November thru March. She has so many good times. She had hallucinations a couple years ago of a lady coming into her house and stealing her clothes, keys, credit cards, etc. Later things would reappear and she said the lady brought them back. The lady eventually morphed into my dad's girlfriend. She believes my dad sold their property and gave the money to his girlfriend. The property in question was sold by both my parents but mom does not believe that. It has taken all her happy memories of my dad and they have become nightmares thinking he deserted her and never loved her.
Mom has always been a very sweet loving compassionate person who everybody loved and we have always been very close. My parents set up a Living Trust years ago. After dad passed in 2007 the trust was updated and my name was added in place of his. She now remembers none of this and every time she receives statements that have my name on them as trustee with hers she loses it and is very angry asking why I added my name to her accounts, that I am trying to take over and it doesn't matter because she's old and too stupid to matter and wishes she would die. She insists she never gets bank or investment statements even right after we have gone over them. She also has rentals. Several years ago she asked that the rent be sent to me because it was easier for me to go to the bank and this has been done since. Now she is wondering why I'm getting the rent and not her...again emphasizing sarcastically that it doesn't matter anyway, she doesn't need to know. I'm sure you get the picture. Even tho I know it's not her it still hurts and its hard not to feel bad. She's always been such a sweetheart so this is nothing I was ever prepared for. One thing is interesting is that she seems to control her outbursts and thinking the negative things if others are around.
Mom is very healthy and can do so much for herself...takes care of the house, herself, pays her bills, loves to garden and is now creating scrapbooks from newspaper articles. As soon as her dental work is complete she is ready to go home. I do not feel AL is appropriate now and think it would take away her reason for living but do think she needs some help with meds, shopping, groceries, etc to start with but she doesn't agree that she needs help.
I know this is nothing new to so many who have been living with this disease but any suggestions or advice you can give would be greatly appreciated. I feel on edge all the time and hate the feeling of her abusive behavior. My hubby of 45 years passed away 6 years ago and I was his caregiver which I was grateful for but am not in the position to have mom live with me.
I apologize for rambling and appreciate hearing any of your similar experiences. Thank you so much. I wish you all well.
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I am sorry for the loss of your husband and father. Your mom is truly struggling with her dementia, isn’t she? I’m so sorry.
My mom had Parkinson’s disease and slight dementia. She started having some hallucinations towards the end of her life, but nothing like what your mom is experiencing. She died this April in a hospice house. I miss her but am glad that she is no longer suffering and is reunited with my father in the afterlife. They loved each other dearly.
You say that your mom lives with you for part of the year. Does she live alone in Oregon? You didn’t mention a caregiver, is why I am asking. I would be concerned about her being on her own.
I agree that it would be incredibly difficult to have your mom on a full time basis. Have you considered a memory care facility for her? You could find one nearby your home in California.
One more thing, has she been prescribed any medication for her hallucinations?
Wishing you and your mom all the best.
Mom does live alone with her dog in Oregon. She loves her home and is capable so far of taking care of herself and her home. Hoeever she definitely needs help with meds, shopping, groceries and seeing her meals are appropriate at the very least but unfortunately she doesn't see it that way.
I previously checked into assisted living facilities close to me believing this is the best option and was very pleased with two that I thought were the best fit for Mom. Her dementia had not been diagnosed then and was hoping Mom would agree and move in while in better health. That didn't happen but she had at least agreed to visit the facilities I was impressed with. Those visits never happened because Covid hit and now she thinks of them as just a place to be put in to die. So that dynamic has changed and not an option currently.
Mom had the initial hallucination of "the lady" a couple of years ago. They stopped after a short time but she continued to acknowledge the lady and all of a sudden she became my Dad's girlfriend...he had no girlfriend. Mom and Dad seemed to live the great American love story. She had no additional hallucinations until a few months ago when she had one. She has not been placed on any meds for hallucinations. She has become obsessed with brushing her teeth to remove whatever she thinks is on there even tho the dentist and oral surgeon have done work on her teeth and advised they were clean. Its hard to see her so obsessed.
Thank you so much for your response. I really appreciate it. I wish you well.
Does anyone come in to help her to see if she really is taking care of herself and her home? I would be a little concerned that she is getting a little worse dues to her hallucinations and this teeth obsession.
Has she been to the doctor recently? Or maybe you can talk to the doc about her obsession? Maybe she needs something to calm her down a smidge?
Good luck!
Thank you so much for your help and suggestions. I'm flailing out here now so can use all the info available. Have a great day.
Your primary goal is to keep her safe & secure, fed 3 square meals a day, and given help with showering and dressing, etc. If she were to fall in her home, how would she be found? My mother is 94 and lives in Memory Care AL; she's fallen 36x over the past 25 months alone. Caregivers check on her every 2 hours so if she was too far away from the pull cord, they'd find her on the floor w/i 2 hours of the fall. I have no doubt she'd have died long ago had she been living alone. Her dementia hasn't even progressed to the point where she's having hallucinations, but she's advanced enough to where she believes her mother is still alive and insists on 'riding the bus' to go see her. She doesn't feel like she has dementia or that she needs help either, but she needs SO much help it's unbelievable. She'd have burned down the house by now if she was alone and trying to cook!
Please disregard the fact that your mother doesn't feel like she needs help; just the fact that she's having all these issues with the 'coating on her teeth' and that 'a man came in and pushed a bag of yard clippings in her mouth that included grass, dirt, leaves and feathers' tells you that she's progressed enough in her Alz/dementia that she needs to be safe & cared for in managed care. Don't wait for a crisis to be forced into placing her.
Watch some Teepa Snow videos on YouTube to learn more about dementia, and pick up a copy of The 36 Hour Day which is very informative to learn what to expect as the disease progresses.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.