Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
By all means, you must let your mother die at home. I agree that this is the last final important wish of many elders (like me). Please make sure she is at home and not in a facility - you'll never forgive yourself if you allow that. However, work with the medical people and get her whatever "machinery" or other equipment that she needs that could be used at home. As to forcing someone to go to the ER, I think if someone is very ill and obviously dying, then those wishes must be respected. It is her life and her choice. But try to find help for her at home. It can be done.
Well you shouldn't let her suffer at home. You should get her on hospice immediately. They will help her be as comfortable as possible while she remains at home as she wants. Does she have oxygen? I will also mention that morphine will help with "air hunger". Please have the doctor get hospice for her!
If you are a strong person then fill her wishes. My Mom had COPD and wanted to die at home. We carried out her wishes. I have 2 brothers and her decision wasn't easy on us. We were scared, didn't know what to expect, It is frightening for them not to be able to breath. Most likely your mom is petrified. Her Dr. should prescribe morphine to ease the anxiety (that is if she's close to passing). The morphine will help her relax. Also she will give up eating and that's where you have hospice come into your home. They will supply a hospital bed, send someone to bath her, and check on her overall health. In NYS hospice can not be called in until she is near death (6 weeks I think) then all medication is stopped and they come in to take care of her basic needs. They are truly wonderful. Talk to her Dr. and they will put you in touch with hospice. (((hugs))) I know how terrible this stage is for the family.
You got it sweetheart. Can you get her to accept hospice? Maybe a consult with them will help her understand that she is in complete control and her wishes will be fulfilled.
Great big hugs! Remember to take care of you during this time.
Memax7 24 min ago Thank you. Shes back home from hospital. Needs help, but doing well. She doesn't want "strangers" in her home. So what do we do about care for a few hours and wkends?
I think that you need to get aides in who will go along with the ruse that they are "friends". It's called a therapeutic fib.
MeMax, I think you all need to put your foot down and make it very clear that you wish to honor her desire to pass at home, but she needs to allow hospice and aides to come help or you will not be able to do this. Period, end of discussion. Mom, we either have hospice and aides or you have to go to a facility. There are no second choices.
Hospice isn't there all that much, even if you have a service everyday from them it is usually less then an hour for the visit.
She needs to be made to understand that you guys need the professional help as much as she does. It is completely irrational to expect untrained people to deal with end of life, especially when they have an illness that is scary to deal with. As much as they think it's all about them, it's not really.
Get all of her caregivers on the same page and present a united front that this needs to happen to honor her wish of dying at home.
Hospice will be a great help once they are there. They have dealt with all this before. Wonderful answer below for you that you know did nail it, so call hospice now. They know how to handle every patient's approach. They will be an enormous support to you, and yes, it is as simple as saying that she may not need the support but that YOU DO. Good luck and keep us all informed how it is going for you. There are many in your corner hoping this goes as well as it can go.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
i will keep you posted.
Many thoughts of comfort are with you this day.
Great big hugs! Remember to take care of you during this time.
Report
M
Memax7
24 min ago
Thank you. Shes back home from hospital. Needs help, but doing well.
She doesn't want "strangers" in her home. So what do we do about care for a few hours and wkends?
I think that you need to get aides in who will go along with the ruse that they are "friends". It's called a therapeutic fib.
Is she on Hospice?
((((hugs)))))
Hospice isn't there all that much, even if you have a service everyday from them it is usually less then an hour for the visit.
She needs to be made to understand that you guys need the professional help as much as she does. It is completely irrational to expect untrained people to deal with end of life, especially when they have an illness that is scary to deal with. As much as they think it's all about them, it's not really.
Get all of her caregivers on the same page and present a united front that this needs to happen to honor her wish of dying at home.