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I mentioned my mom has been in rehab now for three days. She called me this AM wanting me to come get her and get hour out of there. She says people are doing bad things and when I asked she said she cannot talk about it on phone.
Knowing my mom, I don't believe it. Thought sometimes one reads about abuse at senior care places.


I have a call into the case manger just to discuss her status in general, I am disappointed I haven't heard anything from facility in three days, or is that typical?



Also, I thought I had read here in the past about people parents making similar accusations of abuse, which are generally unfounded, but tried to search for this discussions but could not.

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I'm sorry you and your Mom are going through this situation.

Can you clarify what type of rehab she's in? For physical recovery or substance abuse recovery? I don't want to make an assumption.

If your Mom can't give you specifics, I'm not sure what you can do except install a camera (and following her state's rules on that).

Has she been checked for a UTI? I'd start with this.

If she gets cleared for a UTI and there's no evidence of the "bad things", then I would see if her primary doctor can prescribe meds for her anxiety and paranoia. You can tell her a therapeutic fib that they are "vitamins" or for something else that is non-threatening to her.

If you can't get her anxiety and paranoia under control, then I think you're familiar with the "ER solution" (I can't bear calling it "ER dump"...)
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Thanks, yes she was checked for UTI at hospital. She was there for a cracked vertabrae and is now in rehab for physical rehab.

Also, the MD at hospital gave authority to nurses to prescribe seroquel as needed

I contacted a cousin who herself is a nurses assistant at an assisted living facility. She says residents can often be difficult (and I am sure that can be the case with my mom) that the aides have to be firm with them and often residents view that as abuse.
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My FIL accused staff in 3 different rehabs and the skilled nursing facility of "bad things" constantly.

While I do realized that there are instances of bad things happening in managed care - when you start to look into those things when they actually aren't happening- you will see a pattern.

For my FIL - that was not getting what he wanted when he wanted it. If they weren't moving fast enough with his requests (read: demands), if they wanted him to do PT or OT, if they wanted him to go to the cafeteria instead of eating in his room, if they wanted him to turn his tv down, the list goes on and on - he would start up with complaints of mistreatment.

Some of these complaints were just literally impossible. Others happened right in front of us (or on the phone when we could hear the CNA or nurse in his room and he was screaming into the phone that no one would help him) and we knew they were inaccurate.

Has anything been said about dementia. Your mom was in the hospital and now in rehab, and while the timing may not have been long - institutional dementia is a real thing when they isolate themselves.

If you are concerned and can do so - you can always make surprise visits. Ask your mother what bad things are happening in person. See what she says - often the complaint is so over the top that you know right away.
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Thanks. While I intellectually know that, when a loved on is involved easy to get emotional But letting me know your situation gives me reassurance.

And I drop in a lot unannounced. I am told I am just as bad as the care there, so I get it.
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BlueEyedGirl94 Aug 1, 2024
" I am told I am just as bad as the care there, so I get it."

Ah how that refrain rings in my ears. They want to lash out at anyone that is standing in their way of going home. The staff, the doctors, the therapists, you.

Processing that they need help is hard for them. And anyone who is telling them they need help - is forcing it on them and trying to take away their freedom and autonomy.

Unfortunately, there comes a time, if people live long enough - that the people around them responsible for their care - have to worry more about what makes them safe than what makes them happy.

That's the hard part. Most people who end up as caregivers are usually also correspondingly people pleasers. Otherwise, the very first instinct would be to say "nope, you figure it out". And at that stage - you can't take care of them and please them.
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I mentioned earlier the doctor at the hospital prescribed Seroquel to be used as needed to calm my mom now. I thought I understood all of he med instructions would be transferred to rehab.

Now i talked to her case manager, and while all the other meds were transferred, not the seroquel. They will have to have a facility doctor evaluate that for her tomorrow

Is that because Seroquel is more of a psyschiatric drug?
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If I'm not mistaken - I would assume that all "non-emergent" orders from the hospital would end with the hospital discharge (in other words - a hospital doctor would need to transfer the prescription responsibilities to the new treating doctor).

There would be scripts that the doctor would transfer automatically as part of her treatment plan for the diagnosis to move to rehab - injury/pain meds for example. But Seroquel is a more "on demand" type medication in the elderly - for situations where they are agitated and they typically need someone who is seeing the behavior or having it reported to them to take that responsibility.

Seroquel is an "anti-psychotic" class of drugs. So unless they are already diagnosed as something like schizophrenic or bi-polar for example - they are only going to give it is absolutely necessary. It is a mood stabilizer.
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yea, that appears to be the case here. The rehab doctor is supposed to be visiting my mom today and the nurse will tell him she was on seroquel at hospital.
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