Where to place mom who needs high level of care, (toilet ing,showering,dressing,cannot walk alone) but mind is intact. Mom needs assistance with dressing,shower,is urinary incontinent,cannot walk alone,but get mind is still sharp. All board and care homes have people whose minds are compromised, moms mind is good. Can't find appropriate living situation for her that provides high level of physical care with other residents who have minds still intact.
nearly killed me.) I always feel so bad when I read about the pets. I know how important they are, and I always hope they find new homes and not taken to the SPCA or even worse dumped by the side of the road. It makes me cry and feel much much worse than even the plight of the elderly. Something will ALWAYS come along for poor old mom or dad. The poor pets left behind, that to me is tragic.
Dad has his own 2 bedroom apartment, with living room and full kitchen, in the Independent Living section and he has "options" that will give him another level of care and still remain in his apartment. Such as help daily with showers and dressing, and with twice a day pill maintenance. The rent of his apartment includes once a week housekeeping, laundry, cable TV [first time Dad ever had cable TV so he is like a kid with a new toy], one meal in the dining room, on call nurse/aides, activities, etc.
Dad still has some of his Caregivers who he had when he still lived in his house, but this time instead of 24-hour care, they are only there from breakfast to lunch. Then Dad is on his own, and he can get around with his walker to go to the main dining room for dinner. And he needs to wear Depends. The facility offers life alert type of pendant that Dad wears.
We live in a large metro area thus there are many Independent/Assisted living facilities to chose from :)
To this day, I struggle to understand how he maintained a good disposition. If I was in his position, I would have begged to "end it all." He was completely dependent on staff, family for ALL of his needs. Again, his sharp and excellent mind was trapped in a body that no longer functioned. It would have been the ultimate torment for me. I admired his courage and strength. He was a stellar example of making the most of a horrible situation. He was my hero.
That said, try to find the best facility for your Mom's needs. One that has an active "activities" program to keep her engaged. Yes, there are facilities will elderly and middle-aged people mingled. I would consult an elder care manager, a geriatric psychiatrist/psychologist, caregiver support groups. Elders in your Mom's situation can become easily depressed with thoughts of their situation which can spiral out of control and cause even more complications.
You mention board and care homes so I'm assuming you do not live in the United States. Therefore, it's hard to give advice when most of us are answering from our knowledge of care in the United States. Do you have a gov't entity in your country that deals with the aging population? Start there.
Yet most care facilities have a majority of people who aren't sharp mentally. This makes it hard for the person with good cognitive skills but poor physical health to find a good place. You'll find nursing homes with people who are in their 50s and are there because of MS and other diseases. They struggle with the same issue. If you are lucky, you may find a home with a few people who are cognitively sharp.
You have to do what must be done, so get her the physical care that she needs. Then keep her supplied with social and mental simulation and work with the social worker to make good things happen.
Take care,
Carol