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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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when I suggest that she put something else on, she gets annoyed and then starts arguing with me. I hate for her to go out in public with dirty/stained clothes.
I disagree with Capnhardass. It isn't about my vanity or concern about Mom embarassing me. I take pride in keeping my mother properly cleaned and clothed. It's a matter of preserving her diginity and personal pride in her appearance even if she no longer makes that "connection" in her brain or through her eyes. I do agree with the other respondents about doing an 'exchange ' of old clothes for cleaner or newer ones, or holding her in front of a mirror. From personal experience, my mother's dementia causes her to have less and less concern about her clothing, so I have to be concerned for her. I consider it my duty and glad I am able to do it.
Why don't you wash her clothes for her? Do you live with her?
You can also tell your Mom that you won't take her shopping unless she changes her dirty clothing. Hold up a mirror to her so she can see for herself that she is dirty.
Buy her new clothes and simply do an exchange! I frequently go through my Mom's clothes to do the same thing (but usually it is more about reduction than an exchange!). Trust me, who would not want to wear a white clean shirt versus a soiled one?
her clothes are clean but stained from years of wearing them - she can't see the stains because her vision is very poor. I have suggested buying new clothes but she says she is happy with her old clothes.
marykay3147, please consider shopping for your mom at your local Goodwill or any local secondhand shop. I can't begin to endorse them highly enough! I have found so many things for myself there; plenty of items for my mom who lives in a nursing home & they are low cost, CLEAN, stain-free and suitable to wear immediately. If you feel strange wearing donated clothing then wash it once you get home. And, if you shop at Goodwill, you are helping employ many developmentally disabled adults so it's a win-win situation. Please consider it! I purchase and make donations at my two local Goodwills frequently.
Been there! This is an ongoing problem in our house. Mom is basically home bound of her own free will, she feels more comfortable being at home so working in the yard she wears work clothes and shoes, but she wears them all the time so we have to wait until she hops in the shower and steal them so we can wash them. We have bought her new clothes and even hemmed the pants and she refuses to wear them. When we just HAVE to go see her doctor is is horrible trying to get her to wear newer decent clothes, she gets angry and everyone had better watch out!!! I feel for you and I know how you feel! We just keep trying.
I kinda agree with Capnhardass here. Kinda . It is just that I rememeber one time in college I was waiting on a table -I worked at a Chinese restaurant in college -and a young couple came in. They both had mental retardation. They were with it enough to go out unattended but just barely. The man could not talk very well at all and the young lady was dressed in pants up to just below her bosom with a tucked in blouse and pig tails -lopsided on her head and bright red lipstick smeared on. I brought them their menus and the young lady said "well, we can't read!!" --like -"HELLO-we have mental retardation !!". It was cute. Anyway I ordered sweet and sour chicken for them and helped them pay and they were very happy. And as they walked out I remember thinking-"whoever is in charge of those two should really make sure they dress more normal and fix that poor girl's hair!".
Well fast forward 25 years and I have a young lady with mental retardation and she loves to wear what she loves to wear. She hates all jeans and will only wear elastic pants and she loves to wear her tee shirts tucked up on the back only. -She hates having her hair brushed so we keep it short and simple and she feels beautiful. She walks around like she owns the world. Funny how life works out.
So IDK. If Mom feels really pretty in a certain blouse or outfit maybe let her keep it. But if it is really not something she is attached to and you can swap it out for an unstained one maybe do that. I think you have to weigh the pros and cons and not worry about what the public image thinks. But, I say that while admitting I do try and get my girl to untuck her backside . :^0 ;0)
I tried hiding the stained tops, but she remembers and starts asking for them. Since she hardly ever leaves the house, I just let her be. I'm only concerned when we go somewhere.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You can also tell your Mom that you won't take her shopping unless she changes her dirty clothing. Hold up a mirror to her so she can see for herself that she is dirty.
Well fast forward 25 years and I have a young lady with mental retardation and she loves to wear what she loves to wear. She hates all jeans and will only wear elastic pants and she loves to wear her tee shirts tucked up on the back only. -She hates having her hair brushed so we keep it short and simple and she feels beautiful. She walks around like she owns the world. Funny how life works out.
So IDK. If Mom feels really pretty in a certain blouse or outfit maybe let her keep it. But if it is really not something she is attached to and you can swap it out for an unstained one maybe do that. I think you have to weigh the pros and cons and not worry about what the public image thinks. But, I say that while admitting I do try and get my girl to untuck her backside . :^0 ;0)