Follow
Share

What can I do to help my 90 year old mother who is almost blind,weak,and depressed get thru the day? And me still have a life?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I bought a ton of towels for my mom to fold and bought her lawrence welk dvd, and music cds. She is also legally blind and cannot understand much but her feet go to the music and I do a lot of talking and hand holding. Did you try a Daycare or caretaker to get out? My Mom used to sort socks and do dishes but cannot do anything anymore. Good luck
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My MIL is 92 and has physical issues, slight sight issues and problems writing (letters, etc). She refuses to have anything to do with learning about a computer, won't do cross word puzzles, and (lives in a nursing home and won't consider a nicer place even tho she has the $$) won't go to the dining room for meals because most of the people there, in her estimation, aren't 'with it' enough. She is on depression meds but let's face it, unless you really are crazy how can you NOT be depressed to be in a diaper in a place like that? I think in that way she's got her act together!
The things she does love is little dogs (when they visit), getting pictures and cards from family and friends, loves treats (sweets especially) although she says "I just can't taste anything" she could eat a whole box of cookies. Personally I think if she wants to, why not? Her swimsuit days are over!
The person who suggested tapping into resources for seniors is on the right track. She might be able to attend some functions geared toward dealing with her disabilities and I do think she needs to be encouraged to do that. One thing I have noticed is that she expresses GUILT for being so lazy, and always says "I should" do this or that. We tell her that she has the right and has earned it, if she wants to, to do nothing. But IF she complains too much about boredom we reinforce that she makes certain choices, like not making friends where she is, that contribute to her feeling that way.
We live out of state and have offered to have to come to Fla. near us but she refuses, as this home is in the small town she lived most of her life.
Meanwhile, if you have her in your home, you have to take care of yourself too. You can't pour anything out of a dry pitcher.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Avolition and depression can go hand in hand. Wikopedia has a definition. Avoliton I believe is one of the criteria for depression. Check DSM IV depression.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Oops I better check my spelling in the future. I meant aging not abin.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I have had the same issues with my 90 yr mother. She has a few favorite TV shows and that is about it. I can kind of relate because sometimes "we" as women take care of everyone else for most of our lives and when it comes time to figure out what we like to do we are at a loss. My mother seems happiest when family is around and we are all visiting. She listens and occasionally puts her two cents in, but mostly enjoys listening. I have discovered that I am a lot like my mother I enjoy having my kids and grandkids visit and that is when I am the happiest. So it may be kind of hard to find anything your mother will like to do. So in conclusion getting some help from an area office on abin( for some respite for you so you can have some time for yourself will be very beneficial. Also if you have any siblings that you could ask to come and be with your mother while you go shopping or whatever you want to do. My siblings have stepped up to the plate and offer some respite which has allowed me to shop and even take a mini vacation. Hugs to you for all you do.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

blind,weak,and depressed get thru the day: Being blind has got to be difficult for her and being weak doesn't help either!
The depression is, as someone suggested, treatable. If your mom is mobile at all I would start by getting her up and moving/walking in the house, move to the back yard and walk a little; sit in the sun/shade outdoors, let her feel the cool wind or the warm sun on her body.
What kinds of things did she do before she became weak and depressed? Some of those things could be reintroduced on a small scale now. I know it takes alot of effort to figure out what to do for them.

There are many things I tried with my mom but her brain just has no interest. I have found things she does like (walking) so I keep doing that and I keep introducing things all the time. Baby dolls is one of the introductions. Now a body pillow. Next magazines even though she can't really read the article she can sometimes read the headlines, not that she understands it. Write more and keep us posted.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My mother is the same way. Other than her soaps on TV, she has very little interest in anything else. She doesn't read, or have any hobbies. She only cares about her dead friends, and has no desire to meet any new ones. Theres very little one can do with someone like this, except hang in there.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

First of all, she should see a doctor. Her depression might be treatable.
You could call your local RSVP (Retired Senior Volunteer Program) and see if they have Senior Companions. Senior Companions are retired people who provide companionship for elders. It's a free service. Also, of course, you could hire an in-home care agency to have a caregiver come to your home and keep your mom occupied. You do need some time alone. I hope you find a solution.
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter