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My mother has been taking care of my grandmother for the last 2 years. She is bed ridden, cannot take care of herself and is under Hospice care. My mother cannot physically or mental continue to care for her. My grandmother's social worker has found a very nice hospice facility that has a space for her immediately. The only caveat is that my grandmother refuses to go. Apparently she needs to give her consent and cannot be taken there against her will. But, if she doesn't go there will be no one to care for her. I was wondering what my mother's legal rights are. We were told that if she leaves it would be considered abandonment? My grandmother is dying and needs more care than anyone outside of the medical profession can give her. We do not want to lose the space at the Hospice so time is of the essence. Does anyone have any suggestions?  Any help would be greatly appreciated.  She lives in California.  Thank you!

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All I can think of is emergency guardianship or calling the local area on aging to let them know what the circumstances are and perhaps they have a way to force the issue?
It's a terrible position for your mother and your grandmother. So very sad.
When legal ramifications enter the picture it seems to require an attorney.
Is your GM competent? I assume there are no other family members to take over for your mom. It's such a terrible burden for your mom to be in such a position. I can't imagine. Did your GM just recently go on hospice? Could your mom manage to visit with GM in the hospice facility? To sit with her there while others did the nursing? I'm sorry I'm not more help. Perhaps someone with more direct experience will answer.
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To "Dontask . . " I think you missed the point of the question.
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There might be a way for social worker to get temporary guardianship (sometimes takes a couple weeks so you'd have to work with hospice to keep a bed open) and then they can move grandmother without her consent in the interest of grandmother needing more skilled care and services than available in her home -- her health and wellbeing being at risk. Doctor should be able to help with signing a letter that your grandmother is risking her health and well being and "has temporarily lost her ability to make good decisions regarding her health".

Then, after 30 days or so, the temporary guardianship would end and responsibility transfer back to your mom. Hopefully, your mom has POA that can be invoked once grandmother is hospitalized.

Have a meeting with your social worker and grandma's dr and see if they can help expedite temporary guardianship (health) for grandma and get her placed.
If that doesn't work; see if doctor or hospice representative can come into the home and convince grandma that hospice outside the home is best for her care and well being and that it isn't advisable to stay in the home, yada yada. -- maybe others will be more persuasive than family.

Good luck.
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If Grandma is competent she has to agree before there is a move. If she is not competent, the POA can move her as long as there is a doctor's recommendation. If no POA hospice should be able to help with emergency guardianship. Is GM in a facility now? Is the social worker associated with hospice? Social Worker should know the process.

Is GM still in her home and receiving care from mom? Unfortunately mom could be charged with abandonment if she leaves without proper notification to POA. Is there someone threatening your mom?

Get an elder law attorney to advise mom. She can leave but needs to go about it the right way. Tell those in charge that she will not provide the care, and other arrangements must be made.
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This is a very sad situation. Your grandmother is probably scared and is afraid to leave. Maybe hospice could come to the home and care for her? Someone needs to step in.
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Is your grandmother able to get home attendant services ? How about 24 hour in home help. I don't know if she is on Medicaid or not, but this is an option if she is. A legal guardian could be assigned and the social worker should be able to guide you on the process. I understand you mother's position and it is grueling. Likewise, I understand your GM's position and it is frightening. If she could know how comforting hospice facilities are, it would be helpful to her. Is she capable of taking a look online at the facility? Could a priest or rabbi come by and speak with her about her choices?
A friend of mine gave me some sage advice on the concept of caring for a loved one and having it be too demanding: She said, " when you get instructions on an airplane on who to use the oxygen, the fight attendant will tell you to put the oxygen on yourself before you put it on your children." The point being, that if your mother can't breathe, your grandmother cannot get what she needs. So see if either of my suggestions is workable.
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If there is any reason for her to go to the hospital such as a change in her condition or mobility or signs of UTI or any other reason; then, if she is at the Hospital, perhaps they can help manage discharging her to the Hospice Facility instead of to home.
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Perhaps your Mom could tell GM that she is taking a long-needed vacation for her own health, as her doc recommended, and that going to the facility while your mother is away and recuperating would give you both a vacation. Perhaps you could also tell her that her roof needs repaired, or the interior painted, etc. and if would be best for her not to be there while people are doing these things
I know it's a white lie -- except for the vacation part -- but once she is established in the facility she will probably like the routine and care there.
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You say your mother CAN NOT physically and mentally take care of her mother anymore. Have your mom get that in writing from her own doctor, explicitly stating that it is contraindicated to have your mother remain her caregiver. This exonerates your mother from any responsibility to continue to care for your GM.

I would suggest that you hire caregivers at night and maybe a nurse during the day (to give meds). Once your grandma sees that her daughter (your mom) isn't coming back, she might consent to go to the hospice. If there is not enough money to hire people, call her social worker to see if she can apply for emergency Medi-Cal and sign up for IHSS (In home support services) and see what other paid services would be available to her, so she could remain at home.

Once your mother leaves, your grandmother may realize she would be alone (without family) and want to be cared for at the hospice. Every effort should be given to keep GM at home BUT she may need to adapt to living at hospice if no other solution can be found.
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It sounds like mom is at end of her rope - what happens if she actually becomes ill? - if mom is in hospital then she can't be charged with abandonment as she is ill - just in case start making a plan because that could happen - ask social workers etc what will happen then/if this come about -

You care for them both & seem in a tough spot - tell granny what your concerns are - quite often very ill people become extremely ego-centric to point of selfishness - they stop seeing beyond themselves plus everyone hides bad news from them to protect them so they are unaware of everything around them - granny may be unaware of how bad off mom is
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