Hi, new to this, my mom just turned 100 9/5 she is deaf has macular degeneration but still plays skippo every night and wins. She’s amazing, still lives in her home (she has caregivers). She just started getting confused, she said she almost called the police to have me arrested for stealing her money. Just 3 days ago she was perfect ! This hurts, I gave her checks and credit cards back and told her we moved them to a safe place to be able to pay her bills but now she has them back! She said she still loves me but never brought me up to steal. This breaks my heart, this evening her caregiver said she was fine! She was asking her to help her with names of movie stars in different movies. So my question is if she’s fine with her caregivers but mad at me how can she have dementia when she’s fine with her caregiver? So hurtful to see her this way. My sister mentioned the dr. Said she had vascular dementia but I didn’t believe this as she’s totally normal (90% of the time).
"You stole it". It seems to be very common. The combination of a little decline in short term memory & a little increase in paranoid thinking leads to this solution.
It's quite creative really. Something is missing, so the brain fills in the gaps with the story... you stole it.
First, recent memories may get tangled, distorted or covered up. Eg "What did you eat for lunch yesterday?" Answer soup. But you know she had a sandwich.
Then older memories may get tangled up with the present.
Eg "My neighbour broke into my house & stole my TV! It was right here. I just bought it!" (The long gone big box TV was a distant memory - the new flat screen still in the room).
Please don't take these accusations personally. Try not to deny them or get caught in futile arguements. Practice the subtle tricks to distract & disarm instead. Oh, someone borrowed that... I think it is just misplaced... the fairies have been at it again...
TIAs (small strokes) may be happening undetected. While it is sad to watch this decline,
you can accept what is & keep your focus on having a good day together.
When you say 'maybe she'll go back to normal' I feel a bit nervous for you. What are your expectations for a 100 year old lady?
Going forward - not back is the key. Could you try to move from *go back to normal* to *embrace the new normal*?
But keep enjoying what you can together & look for the positives throughout this aging journey.
Confabulation in Dementia Can Feel Like Hurtful Lies - AgingCare ...
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-handle-alzheimers-disease-lying-144204.htm