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Do not bring her to your home. That would be too confusing for her and too much for you.
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I think you are right. Do what you can, and realize that she is not going to be realistic about what you can and can't do. She likely would not do well in a less familiar environment either.
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I 500% agree with those who say do not move her in. But I do not understand why people recommend not visiting on Saturdays for a short while. I am probably missing something.
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Karsten, I think you may have missed WHO's and most governments' public health advice to reduce social contacts to the absolute minimum, especially where people over 70 are concerned.

Family members who decide that on balance elders' welfare will be more adversely affected by their absence than by risk of exposure to infection should maintain distance either by staying in a different room or by speaking to the person through a window. They should also adopt infection control procedures currently mandated for social care workers, which require adherence to the "Five Moments" hand washing guidelines + correct donning of surgical mask, gloves and apron.

As the OP's mother is fully supported by professional caregivers I'd have thought it would be not only safer but also a lot easier for the OP to skip the visits.
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As testing becomes more available, ask if one of the ALs will accept your mom if she tests negative and has a temp and symptom history (start getting a record of that established. Have the visiting nurse complete a log).

ALs near me are accepting asymptomatic move ins as long as the families understand there will be a 14 day isolation (all the residents are isolated at this point anyway) and that you understand there is NO visiting.
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Just increase your time with Visiting Angels until this Covid BS blows over, then get her into AL. All will work out.
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Yes, she is your mother and you should bring her into your home and care
for her. Nursing homes are staffed by low wage workers, many well meaning but to survive some must work 7 days per week at different homes and this has been part of the infectious spread of Covid-19. Also, fall rates and lonely deaths often at higher rates in institutional care. Its lucrative business right now for developers and physician entrepreneurs to develop and promote nursing home care as the best option for our aging loved ones—but follow the money. You cannot buy love.
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Transition is challenging in general but it is especially difficult for older adults. If her safety is not in question, and she is not a fall risk, you may want to continue with the status quo. This would spare her from moving twice. I'm not sure it would be in everyone's best interest to have her move in with you and then moving her again. Multiple moves can exacerbate her dementia and strain your strained relationship even further. Once she is with you, you may have a situation where she refuses to move out. I would suggest stay the course. However, prior to relocating her to assisted living, make sure to tour and ask lots of questions. Medicare.gov provides questionnaires as well as guidelines for touring. You can also review assisted living department of health surveys and Medicare surveys online. Also keep in mind that assisted living can be an umbrella term meaning different facilities offer different services under a care plan and charge extra for other services. I personally favor not for profit facilities over for profit because they are not as driven by the bottom line.
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GigiBee Apr 2020
Agree with you 1000% on the non-profit facility, as my mom was in the independent living part of one, and the staff was all wonderful. It is a church based retirement community. Kind people, clean, well maintained property, and they are well paid, truly caring about the residents. Also agree on the multiple moves being very difficult, but in our case, we had no choice (due to sheriff being called twice) but to bring her to our house to wait out the Covid-parole...
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