How do middle-age caregivers who are forced to care for their parent temporarily, reenter the job force?

Since I always got fired from those fast-paced jobs such as McDonald's and anything like waitressing which I did while I as a student I learned that I have sensory processing disorder. This makes so much sense now. People kept asking why I was so smart but couldn't use a cash register and couldn't hit a ball with a bat. I was fired from many jobs. I would drop things, too. I'm fine in teaching positions and I have a master's degree. I do not want to work at a place where there is much hierarchy so I am choosing a junior college where I can design my own courses and write the lesson plans myself. I'm really thrilled over their "outside the box" approach as they welcome elders, people in prison, ex-felons, and people who are re-entering college to their school. It is very progressive. They believe everyone deserves a chance, including the employees.

Statbill, thanks for sharing your observations on some very peculiar advice.

There was a time back in the 60's when some women did iron their hair to make it straighter. I always wondered how much damage that was doing to hair.

There is no reason in this day and age when hair needs to be flat to be presentable at an interview. It's more appropriate for someone to wear a style with which he or she feels comfortable.

And "no grey" hair? We're speaking on this thread about mature women, some of whom are going to have some grey. My hair began greying in my 30's. The last thing I would do is use chemicals for decades just to change my hair color.

And by the time hair does grey, skin begins to change. I personally find disgusting the obsession with looking young, sometimes at the cost of health.

I am younger, and ended up getting in a similar situation. At some point I (at 28 years old, with two kids and a husband who is always out of town working) became my Grandma in laws caretaker. Same story, lost job, she offered to help, she owns a trailer park and gave us a lot and helped us buy a trailer, in exchange we manage it. It was a very good deal so we took it. The the health problems started and I have been her care taker for 3 of the last 6 years(CHF, COPD, Memory issues, Aplastic anemia, diabetes, and all of a sudden atrial fibrillation.. fun times!). Do not let that happen, I do not recommend it to anyone who feels obligated. Some people are care takers, and some people are not. I am not, and it has been destroying me. She takes away from my kids, I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old, she takes my energy that could be better spent elsewhere. As for re-entering the workforce once she dies, I suggest going back to school do what you can to build your skill set. That is what I ended up doing, I am lucky that the University of Wyoming allows me to do most of my classes online, and I can work around her and my kiddos. I will actually be graduating this Spring with a BS in Psychology and have two possible internships lined up. The problem is, will she still be alive by then? Who knows, I have one location in Wyoming and one in my hometown in Alaska, if she is still alive I will stay here and take that job.

Dems have dug a large hole? Getting us out of the hole (failed economy, housing crises, banks crashing, unemployment and national deficit at all time high while stock market at all time low?) left by Bush's republican administration? How can people not see that? I will never understand. And of lesser consequence, how can you advise such silly things as 'flat ironed hair, no gray,' etc? bordering on the ridiculous. Clean and well groomed is all you need to be. Geez, what if your interviewer happens to use hot rollers every morning to have a curly hairstyle? Oh man, this is getting so irritating. Many highly educated, articulate people on here really trying to help, and although I too am highly educated, I call b......t, and just saying it like it is. The 'hiring manager' person says they are presenting it like it is and not how it is supposed to be, when instead, all of us should work to make it 'as it is supposed to be'...by law for goodness sakes. Are we content to further the 'bad' system by playing into it? Flat iron your hair and accept lower wages than men for the same job? Hire a man because he was funny and made you laugh? That 'hiring manager' person should be ashamed and instead blurts it over social media. IGnorance does abound, but it is up to us to get rid of it.

Lassie: Let's see what the Republicans have to offer because we already know that the Democrats have dug a very large hole for us.

Yelacik: Also, you should update your wardrobe including shoes. Plus hair style should be a flat-ironed, lowlights, no grey, smooth style. Use minimalist make-up and by all means, DO NOT go into an interview smelling like bathed in perfume! If I were your boss, I would immediately send you packing!

I've heard so many people that say on their resume that they're good at this or that skill. Actually they are very much incorrect because if they excel at a particular skill, they should express that! A"good" skill set doesn't make the grade because there is always someone better than good!

wwpwin Don't make assumptions. You do not know that her mother would be better off in a nursing home.

Tacy, earlier you said he was not told, now he is? There are certainly other employers out there that do not consider the ability to use a smart phone as a skill. The culture of the company? Are these all people that go out to dinner with family or other very important people in their lives and sit at the table watching their smart phones? I certainly do not want to be part of that culture. The ability to interact on a human to human level is much more important than being able to use a smart phone, IMHO. And yes, I know what IMHO means! But if I was speaking to someone I would say the words.

I find the social media and smart devices discussion quite interesting. How many people are in high tech jobs and have been for years, know their jobs very well, and choose not to own a smart phone or tablet? Many, many, they spend their days on the computer and do not want to do so during their time off. GOOD FOR THEM!

UMMM..... could I just comment on 'skipping part time jobs'? I know DOZENS of hard working 'Muricans who work one, two, three 'part time jobs' because that is ALL there is out there. And if you have kids, you work ONE 'part time job' because then you can get food stamps, at least. ..... No one goes to work at McDonald's handing burgers out the window as some kind of Great Career. No one goes to work as a stocker at Walmart as some kind of Great Career. When your piece of cr*p winter rat loses a tie rod, you quit McBarf and go work at Taco Bell across the street so you can at least walk to workl. That's the thing now: work some part time sh*t job and then another, and then another. (but our Great Glorious Orange Moron is going to fix all that, right? Crank up the heat in the double-wide, any day now Our Glorious Savior is going to bring ALL the FACTORIES back to 'Murica.)

There r options out there you just need to explore them. Besides Medicaid try your local Office on aging.

Being out of the workforce for four years is not too bad. You have a good reason, Mom. Try a temp agency. The jobs may not be permanent or you may get a fulltime job out of it. It will give you some experience. Most employers are going this route. If the employee doesn't live up to their expectations, then they call the temp agency for a replacement. Hoping someday to find the right person for the job. This also helps to see what further education or training you may need. Look in the want ads and see what employers are looking for in skills. Lets say Quiken is needed but u don't have it. Sign up for a college course or night school at a high school. At 53 you really need to look to ur future with SS. If u don't work it will effect what u will receive. It may be time to talk to her doctor and Medicaid. See what ur options are.

Besides the possibility of a nursing home, and the home healthcare aides are another option. Home health care helps people stay in their homes longer and prolong normal life and delay nursing home care. In some cases, nursing homes will never be necessary as in other cases. Carefully explore your options

Regardless of what your brother thinks---your mother would be better off in a nursing home or memory care----if her income is low enough Medicaid would pay for her care!! You've both have your own lives!!

OK, just to clarify things up a bit about the social media issue, yes, employers do screen potential applicants by searching social media.

Businessnewsdaily - search for social-media-hiring

Be aware though that not everyone who deactivates their account or just don't post to social media necessarily has something to hide. Not all people have computers or mobile devices either, this may be considered when investigating a job applicant. If you don't go online then this doesn't make you a bad person, it just means that you prefer old-fashioned lifestyles and if you're disqualified just because of that, it's a form of discrimination. If you're disqualified just because of that, it's a form of discrimination, and discrimination is illegal

By the way, I forgot to mention that I have seen cases where people have been fired because of what they later posted on their social media, one of them being how they hated their boss or their job. One such post I recall hearing about was a video post. Needless to say, the person was fired because the boss saw that post and dismissed that employee

As much as I've heard this before, social media is something I never thought too much about any potential employer using as part of a background check. I guess if you're serious about any job at all, it may be a good idea to never post to social media or better yet just not have an account. If you do, it may be best not to give your login information to anyone. If they really want to know what's on your wall, just print it off. Another thing you can do is to go through your activity log on Facebook and delete all your activity and just clean up your wall. On Google plus, you can do the same thing I'm just delete all of your old posts. There's a bunch of different things going on social media, just be careful what you post and what you say in the comments. If you would never want your grandma to see it, don't post it

I refer to your original post, to paraphrase "most older people are outdated". "They look outdated". You should check yourself, a know-it-all that any entry level Human Resources clerk or online job site post could tell you. I am not impressed, nor should anyone else on here be. Indeed, you immediately toss out any resume you deem to be a template? What a juvenile method of screening applicants, I wonder how many good opportunities you have missed this way. Not hired because he didn't wear work boots to a job interview? Did the applicant have the qualifications and experience? You sound foolish and as if you are in some sort of power trip to me. As I mentioned, you have undoubtably violated company and federal policy just with your post on this forum, and yet you give advice to the members to watch what they post on social media? What a fool you are.

@tacy022
Ooh you are so sharp you cut yourself! Do you even know how you just set yourself up for age discrimination with your written (and posted for the world to see and document) for age discrimination litigation? Not so smart and if I was your boss, you would be dismissed. Talk about being outdated, you had better sharpen your skills and 'update' yourself on discrimination law. What kind of 'hiring manager' would ever post something to incriminate themselves and their employer like this?

Updating your skill set is definitely another smart move. Anytime you apply to college, you must fill out a fafsa form and see if you can apply for a grant or even a loan. Your local job and family services may very well have some form of education program. When I inquired about adult education in 07, they had free education if you went and pursued their list of majors. They didn't have anything in my field, so I couldn't pursue their education offers. Keep checking your mail for little flyers on adult education, they come in the mail over here every so often. Yes, reentering the workforce at an older age is definitely a challenge since most employers are looking for younger workers. I've heard of some situations were some of them try to get the older ones to retire or force them to leave. If this happens to you, firmly stand your ground and even get a discrimination lawyer if needed

You could update your skill set by taking a few courses at your local community college.

The only thing about being a landlord is having to keep up with the maintenance and upkeep of the rental unit. I'm a very long time tenant and I've witnessed some of what my landlord goes through to keep this place livable. If you become a landlord just remember there are certain expenses such as upkeep and even taxes and even homeowners insurance. When you're first starting out though, all you can do is pray that nothing serious happens to put you under when you're first starting out. Inheriting a house is a lovely thing as long as the house is move-in ready for whoever is moving in. However, if some kind of major disaster happens in your early days, and you must shell out some money for repairs for whatever reason, this will leave you in a bind. It's always smart to have a job on the side and actually been making money to help support yourself and your rental job as a landlord. You never want to lean just on being a landlord alone, my landlord has a job on the side so he won't go under if something major were to happen to put him under. Having a job to the side is a very smart move because it keeps you afloat should the tenant move out and you can't get a tenant for long periods of time. I've seen houses sit empty for months or maybe even years before someone finally rented one of the empty homes. You must be prepared because there's no guarantee someone will actually rent your unit right away when it's empty. You're going to need money for advertising if you go that route. If you just use the word-of-mouth, this can help you use more discretion on who you rent two if you want to only rent to quality tenants who won't get in trouble by causing trouble. Neighborhoods are only as good as its tenants. If you have bad neighbors, bad neighbors make the area bad. If you have good neighbors, good neighbors make the area good. If you live in a good quiet neighborhood, it's because the neighbors are good. If you get a bad tenant in a good neighborhood, believe me when I say that if the neighborhood is good enough, there comes a time when the bad neighbor won't stay long. Yes, be very careful who you rent to especially in an already good neighborhood. One other thing I must warn you against is don't be a slumlord who doesn't fix anything. I know that if money is tight it will be harder to get things fixed, and some tenants won't wait long before vacating even on a lease agreement. Whether you choose month-to-month or offer leases, always be financially prepared for speedy repairs and keep your tenants happy so they're more likely to stay. Sometimes you may get a very good tenant who may actually become a long-term or even a lifelong tenant, depending on location among other things. Definitely learn about your disability laws because for some tenants you'll have to let them have reasonable home modification including a wheelchair ramp for easy access. Not every tenant will be able to do steps. Some homes may have steps at one entrance and not at the other because some homes will actually have one entrance where there are no steps because the home is on a slope allowing for easy walk in accessibility. Definitely make sure your entrances are very accessible to wheelchairs. Right now I know of one place near me that has a very tight enclosed area around the walk-in entrance. Make sure to make your home wheelchair friendly in case someone in a wheelchair needs to rent your place.
As your business grows, you'll find yourself buying more units to rent out. I warn you though, don't bite off more than you can chew. You may also want to partner with other landlords and go into business together, this will make it much easier for all of you to do business together

You may want to keep in the back of your mind about being a landlord. Just be very choosey who you rent to & not just the first person with money. Im 58 disabled cant get a SS check because i was a stay home mom & never paid in. When my husband passes idk what will happen he gets a ssdi check & we live next to my dad who I have to look after. When he passes I plan on using his home as a rental to bring in money. There are actually 3 homes on this property but I wont have to go to a job or worry about having no income at all.

This is one where I must say I don't know. You're right, being older and unemployed will make it harder the longer you're out of the workforce, this is pretty common regardless of the reason you're unemployed. What you can do though is look into Adult Education and start school. Another avenue you can do is also apply for some help through your local job and family services. What you can do and see if your local job and family services has a free schooling program to help you with schooling. You can also see if your area has a temp services and apply for a job there. All you can do afterwords is explain to a potential employer that you were caring for a loved one who has since passed on. You can also apply for some housing assistance such as a program called section 8. You may also be eligible for Medicaid, check your local job and family services. In Ohio you used to be able to get SSI real easy because it was a needs-based program but when I tried to get a friend of mine some help who has been unemployed for years, I couldn't get it for him but I can't get him his food stamps and medical. There are lawyers out there who can make the state give you assistance in certain cases if you've been declined and you have a legitimate need. Some of that help though is temporary but some of it is permanent depending on your specific case. Definitely start with your local human services and go from there but don't give up

wow, this was my question almost 4 years ago when I was care giving my mom and I knew it would not be forever and I am in my 50's. I was out of work for several months after she passed. Compounded by my age and I live in a small community that did not have tons of jobs to begin with. I ended up going into the caregiving field. I work in an assisted living facility. I am constantly looking for something else. I don't mind the job, just is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. It is a job and so I am able to bring home a paycheck. I really felt lost because you are no longer out there when you are caregiving. Your world is your home and your mom. I no longer knew who I was just that I was lost....it is a hard thing to lose your mom AND your job in a matter of minutes. I still try to connect on here because you all GET where I am coming from. Good luck. Let me know how you are doing.

I think there's a critical issue that we've vaguely touched on but not really addressed as a specific criteria, and that's the size, nature, structure and mission of employers.

My jobs had for the most part been in the private sector, in small to what would be considered large firms. At one time I wanted to explore other options, especially in the larger corporate world at companies with much better benefits. That lasted less than a year. I simple didn't fit in, nor did I want to - it wasn't my style of work environment.

I was unprepared for the bureaucracy, conformity, infighting, backstabbing, and "out the door at 5 pm" attitude of most of the staff on the professional level. The clerical staff was even worse.

And on the other hand, a few people came from corporations to law firms. They were unprepared for the flexibility, unacceptance of the "not my job" attitude, or the need to learn how to delegate so the attorneys could be more productive.

One attorney I worked for briefly came from a client company and had absolutely no idea or ability to adjust to a law firm environment. He had no idea how to delegate. He even did his own filing and kept his files, in a pile on the floor. The only reason he was tolerated was b/c he came from a valued client.

It takes a specific kind of person to thrive in a large corporate environment; it takes a specific kind of person to thrive in a smaller, fast-paced client environment when staff interacts directly with clients. We called them demand-responsive law firms. It wasn't unusual for someone to change holiday plans because a client needed something accomplished ASAP. Flexibility was an absolute criteria.

Some people like the corporate life style; some (like me) liked the fast-paced firms with a lot of client interaction. And there are companies that can meet the needs of people in either category.

I think another analogy could be medicine. ER and ER trauma doctors are different from those who have practices, and they're also both different from doctors who primarily teach and have a nominal practice.

Fortunately, the working world is large enough to accommodate these different work style choices.

But it's critical to know which work style someone prefers. These factors are critical for job hunting, survival and success regardless of someone's age.

Tacy,
I apologize for forming an opinion, based on incomplete information. Thank you for providing additional details, related to this situation. I am relieved to learn that your decision was based on other factors. Again my apologies for making an incorrect assumption. I do want to clarify that I was not inferring that the company should invest money in training (iPad, etc.), since an individual can do this on their own. However, if a company recognizes talent and identifies a need area, it has not been uncommon for a company to invest in training and development.

My years of education, which includes some of the top schools in the country (specific to my degree) "advanced degrees," excellence awards, etc. speak for themselves. However, I don't place a lot of weight on the above. I have met many individuals that never received a degree, but were extremely bright, and exhibited the highest level of social intelligence.

I have family members who work in high level positions in Top Fortune 500 Corporations and understand that there are different approaches to hiring.

I apologize to Yelacik for not answering the initial question that was posted.

I wish you all the best.

Razzleberry, excellent advice, especially about professional networking.

HealthyAging, well said! Thank you for sharing your wise insight into hiring.

Igloo raises an issue that I saw when I was tutoring students about 20+ years younger than me. It's the issue of conceptualizing, goal setting, prioritizing and balancing life. work and home. Some people can do this innately; others need some guidance. Balancing school and work doesn't always come naturally to some people.

W/o challenging anyone, I would never consider a Fortune 500 company, or other large company. Having worked at a few, they're so bureaucratic and stifling. I'm reminded of Ross Perot's comment about snakes at GM. They wouldn't just deal with the snake; they'd create a committee first to study snakes.

I was in the same boat. I found
Caregivers.com that hired people
Online. Also homecare agencys are always looking for caregivers.
They are hiring housewives etc.