I thought about putting this in my other post as an update but this is kind of important. So, Medicaid will not accept the offer made on my mom's house. It is a 20k gap on appraisal value. Plus just listed.
I CALLED because I knew they were bears about market value. So word to the wise in that. We will counter and go from there.
On the other matter, how do you deal with side eye judgement odd comments about your parent having to go on Medicaid? I got one today.
If her funds have been honestly expended, she will become a Medicaid client because “it’s the law”. And whether anyone else likes it or not, THAT’S ALL THERE IS TO IT”.
My best friend's mom is getting 24/7 in home care; I disagree with her decision that this is what's best for her mom. But after telling her early on that I thought she needed to look into facility care, and being told that she couldn't/wouldn't do that ( and her dad WAS in NH at the end) I have simply been supportive and not a naysayer.
You should understand that sometimes folks who are trying to get you to do what they have done/are doing with their parents are looking for validation of their own position.
That's what friends do; we support each other. If I thought she was killing herself doing this, I would say/do otherwise. If she can continue with her life, I'm not going to tell her that she's doing the wrong thing.
Sorry about Medicaid. There really is not too much wiggle room with them. And your friend, just ignore.
This is odd. But most don't know that nursing home and memory care is approx 85 percent paid for by Medicaid nationally.
Then once they stop progressing in rehab, MediCARE stops paying. So it’s private pay; LTC insurance (if it pays for in facility care); apply for Medicaid or stay with family who cobbles together some sort of caregiving system.
My MIL went the break a hip / hospitalization & surgery / LTC route and onto Medicaid. For my mom, she went from IL to a NH bypassed the AL phase or being hospitalized. It didn’t occur to me just how unusual it was to do this.
There have been been a couple of CA posters who have written that now for Medi-cal, a post hospitalization discharge for rehab is required in order for the LTC MediCal application to be filed. From an administrative & cost effective viewpoint makes total sense..... the elder has a recent, well establish medical chart from the hospital that clearly shows need in detail with lab work and ICD codes; so state doesn’t have to send out an assessment team to see if elder is medically “at need”; facilities know they are getting at least 3 week$ if not more of higher MediCARE rehab $; their rehab progress can be monitored daily so NH can alert family that elder is abt to be booted off MediCARE rehab so family can gather up Medicaid financial info and file the Medicaid LTC application the day after Medicare stops. But it makes it ooodles harder for families who have parents who are adamant on staying in their home way, way, way beyond what they should ever be to get them into a facility & onto Medicaid.
Nor do,I have two banks calling me that these people have brought your mother to the bank to cash checks they got from her and she is talking about financing a 70k truck for one of them.
Why? Because she is in a memory care facility.
And no, there is no way her mom was getting memory care for a thousand a month. She thinks it's marketing.
Segoline, a very wise lady told me once, “What anyone thinks of me is none of my business”. Most of the time we don’t know what is going on in other people’s mind, and we can harm ourselves by trying to get in there to figure it out. Unless you ask for feedback, nobody has the right to tell you what they think you should do unless they are going to be part of the solution.
I don’t tell anyone the particulars of my parents’ residence in a nursing community other than that they are there and how they are doing if they ask. Those close to me know what we have gone through over the many years.
The appraisal, how was it done?
One way would be that it ordered by the mortgage underwriter on behalf of buyer and if so how detailed?..... walk through with photos on each room with floorplan & measurements plus info on all insurances, termite inspection, etc. Another way could be a sight line drive by or Google earth combined with tax assessor value. Perhaps bank got 2 drive by’s done.
OR did u order the appraisal, like you got it inspected by licensed registered residential property inspector first then that report was given to appraiser you hired to do their independent appraisal on the house? Inspector report should be super detailed, like they get up into rafters, walk roof, go thru crawlspace or under piers, determine what status for the majors - electrical, plumbling, AC/heat - and to what degree out of compliance for current code. Inspector fee separate from appraisal and done first. Report has lots of photos and is a sizeable detailed document. Appraiser uses the report in addition to their own through on site interior & exterior assessment of the property along with a online search via courthouse records on any easements or egress / property line issues. All this effects the value of the specific property; very exacting.
Appraisals by mortgage lenders or arranged by Realtors for a buyer are usually going to lean in for maximum plausible value so lending / commission is as much as possible. It may well factor in land value comps on renovated properties recently sold to value up appraisal.
BUT a Inspection / Appraisals approach done by property owner or an Executor for probate usually are lower as it is in detail as to every issue the property has. It’s usually more conservative appraisal. If it comes in lower than tax assessor value, or mortgage lender value, it is nevertheless a legitimate value determined by a 3rd party. Medicaid will accept it; it’s legit.
The “side eye”, please try to let it roll.
Unless you’re really decades experienced at clever shade throwing, now is not the time to start that as a skill set imo. Your likely too too distracted to do it. Try to find something that calms you or bring you joy that you can control. Personally I do TM, but I have a friend who watches the beauty hags on YouTube and swears they are better than any therapists.