I have a full-time job & the aide is with my mother during my work hours & I have to handle the rest by myself. I am so tired daily I cannot stand it & my work is suffering. Any suggestions (other than hiring another aide) we have to use the Medicaid # of hours per day & until July I have ZERO respite hours available.
I wish I had advice for you but I don’t. But this is a very important issue since more and more baby boomers will need care and so many of us need to work to keep up with our own aging and financial needs.
I finally burned out and we found a way for Mom to move to a low-income unit at an Independent Living place 3 hours away from me. I am still recovering emotionally from the experience.
I don’t work at a place with EAP (Employee Assistance Program) but if your workplace offers that, it might help to contact them for some support.
My job had also suffered and I was just my parents *driver* as they are still very much independent living in their own home. But all those doctors appointments, and other appointments that were only available during the day, took it's toll on my career and because I was out of the office so much, my work eventually was distributed to other employees.... one day I found out my job had been eliminated.
Plus I have her dog, two birds and three cats to take care of, plus my own two dogs, two horses and two geese. It is just too much for me to handle. I will do anything for my mom but I am SO burned out! I have a vacation planned for the beginning of July but I am worried about her being at home. She was going to go to my brother's but now I don't know if she is going to be okay to fly. My oldest daughter will come home to care for the animals, but my mom refuses to get along with my two girls anymore, so I am also worried about fights while I am gone! Can anyone give advice on caregivers? We really don't have the money to pay someone to come in daily so I just don't know what to do. I need a break, I fall asleep at my desk and sometimes while driving...
We are fortunate, b/c I work full time too, but mom is in Assisted Living. Even there, she will just stay in her room all day long and do nothing, so now I'm looking into hiring someone (paid or volunteer) to come visit her 2-3 times a week and just talk to her, go on a short walk w/ her, encourage her to join the activities.
You can also check your local churches. Sometimes they have volunteers or sociial ministry programs that are affordable.
Lastly, I'm taking care of myself now to prevent burnout and found a caregivers support group for adult children taking care of their parents with Alzheimer's or dementia. This may not change the number of hours you put into taking care of mom, but it will hopefull help you deal better and prevent burnout. I start my group in 3 weeks, so I am very hopeful.