I live an hour away from her but I have felt the need to see for myself how she is doing. I can look at her face or hear her voice and know how her day is going. Although I understand completely, I’m having a hard time with this quarantine. She seems to be getting weaker and weaker every day.
i saw my Father on 8th March. Then could not get in. Got call on 29th March to say he was poorly.
Deteriorated and never spoke to him again . Not the dreaded virus but aspiration and stroke. I suppose at least I saw him .
Then she tested positive for covid. Her condition has declined. Barely eating and drinking. Support care at this time.
It's hard to think that the last time I saw her she was fine. Now there is nothing i can do..😔. She is not alert /aware enough to respond to me on "zoom or facetime". Covid affected her mentally. I dont want to "see" her like this on camera, knowing she cannot show any response.
I know exactly how you are feeling. So surreal. So unlike our routine. I'm numb.
I miss her.😢🙏🏼❣
As they knew he was getting weaker, the facility nurse and administrator made arrangements for our family to visit with him in a private room a few days before he passed away. We were so grateful for the time we had with him because we too, thought he could pass away without us ever seeing him again. He passed away April 18 and we miss him very much.
If she can get outside, is there anywhere to sit and visit? You could even bring your own chairs if necessary, or just sit in your car.
Is she "allowed" to leave for medical appointments or the dentist? If you could find a sympathetic doctor's office you could arrange to meet her at their office and just visit with her there.
If they won't let her out of the building, can someone there help her use a smart phone to use Facetime or Zoom?
Sounds like you need to find a way to bend the rules.
What I do to try to keep my mother's spirit up is we go through various stupid questions as she says, so that her mind does not wonder, I tell her why I am not visiting but not all of the details, give your parent the chance to be a parent again if she does not have any dementia, instead she will think of you and your family worry a little like a parent should. My mother even now asks the orderly or nurse to call me f she is sad or lonely, does her rehab and tells them she is staying strong for me. I tell her I will stay strong for her and as soon as the lockdown is lifted I will see her, so this is what she holds on to, and what I do. It is not much I know but at this time, it is what we have.
What about what happened during the 1918 Spanish flu? How did our grandparents make it? Please take that history as an example. Did their lives forever change? And in what way?
What you can do is call up the director and see if they call you back using Skype, FaceTime or another form of visual instrument. At least you have the comfort of seeing your love one during your talk.
a lot of the elderly care would accommodate your request. Try it and best wishes.
If HCP are allowed to work before meeting all criteria, they should be restricted from contact with severely immunocompromised patients (e.g., transplant, hematology-oncology) and facilities should consider prioritizing their duties in the following order:
--If not already done, allow HCP with suspected or confirmed COVID-19 to perform job duties where they do not interact with others (e.g., patients or other HCP), such as in telemedicine services.
--Allow HCP with confirmed COVID-19 to provide direct care only for patients with confirmed COVID-19, preferably in a cohort setting.
--Allow HCP with confirmed COVID-19 to provide direct care for patients with suspected COVID-19.
--As a last resort, allow HCP with confirmed COVID-19 to provide direct care for patients without suspected or confirmed COVID-19."
In the meantime, I try to keep in contact any means possible: lots of phone calls; Facetime, Skype, Zoom or Facebook online meetings with those who can and will use these; letters, pictures, and occasional treats.
I am also getting ready for when we can meet again: waiting for higher filtration masks to arrive in the mail, keeping healthy myself, and making a "wish list" of activities.
One size does NOT fit all in a long-term care facility that is supposed to be person-centered. Some family members, who do not work and are self-isolating, are probably less of a risk to spread the virus than staff are, who must commute every day, live with families who may have contact with others, etc. Why can't we arrange visits? Until families can unite in presenting their wishes, we won't break through the wall of CYA policies and practices.