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How to get into ADW LO's mind set? It has been suggested to find the feelings that cause the fixation. How to to do this

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Just say O.K. and try to do it.Sometimes,my husband would get into the car and see the sign for the station. I would say: See, here is the station.
He would say : Take me home now. I think the sick person is trying to tell us he wants to get away from the sickness. Other times, I would simply say: We can do that later.' The station is closed now. Track work'. One has to try to understand the desperate feelings underneath. I think it is very important to 'agree' with the feelings.Otherwise,pt. just gets angry,feels misunderstood.
So,agree..then be creative."Streets are flooded' or 'Closed today for cleaning...or repair work..' Put on some calming music..distract (TV).
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The key seems to be "divert". I have learned to NEVER argue ( even when what they are saying is ridiculous. ) And as a previous writer suggested, calming music. I can't tell you what a good effect music has on patient/s. It is a real miracle!!
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We have been using a psychiatrist to manage medications and have found this helpful. Sun downing delusions & visions have been reduced. Parinoia (belief that others are stealing) continues.

We also found with our initial medication review some Meds were causing problems and were withdrawn.
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Some good answers. The diversion is important but what I also do is ask questions: What do you remember about the train Station? Get them talking. A lot of time with my wife she says i am going to do a walk outside and what she is really wanting is to go the bathroom. I just have learned to be on my toes and not take statements literally and try to find the real meaning behind what they are saying. I really have to think out of the box when she talks now as words do not mean what she is trying to say.
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Just a thought. It's not unusual for me to dream about needing to take, or taking, a bus or train. I assume it's part of dream symbology, representing moving (or needing to move) in a new direction physically, mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually. Point being, the delusions might be similar to dreams. Perhaps looking behind the symbology of the delusions could help in dealing with them.
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My Mom confuses TV and dreams with reality. Our Church puts the service on-line. She gets so "into it" she think she is there. What about buying DVD about train vacations thru Europe. This may satisfy him.
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It took me quite a while to deal with my husband's bus and train delusions. But I think I finally got it right at the end. He came through the kitchen with a little packed paper bag and headed for the garage door.

Where are you going?
I'm going to catch a bus.
(Glancing at clock.) Oh, I am so sorry but there are no more buses tonight. Can it wait until tomorrow?
(Big sigh) I am soooo tired. I wanted to go home and sleep.
Well I'm sorry there are no buses, but I know of a place you can sleep tonight and we'll check the bus schedule in the morning. You do look very tired. Can you lean against this counter while I get your wheelchair?
(In the wheelchair) Is it far?
No, not far at all. And I think you are going to like it.
(Seeing the room) Oh! This looks just like my own room!
I thought you would like it!

He did not question why his pajamas were in this room. He still thought it was some foreign room, but he was happy.

I didn't try to convince him that there wasn't a bus station through our garage door. I did not try to convince him that he was already home. (Something I had tried to no avail many times in the past.) I didn't scold him for not using his walker. I did not point out that it wasn't his bedtime yet. I went along with him and got him what he wanted.

Of course this case was easy, because there was something specific he wanted and he was willing to tell me on his own. But if we'd stood there arguing about whether there was a bus station beyond the door or I'd tried distraction too early I might not have known that he just wanted to go to bed.

It can be very difficult to get into their mindset. Sometimes you just can't. Why does your loved one want to go to the train station? Are you sure she means the train station? Might she mean, oh, say, the beauty shop? Let her talk about what she wants and maybe the "why" will come out. Look for clues. Is she agitated about going, or is she eager in a happy way?

To look on the bright side, if it is the same delusion day after day, once you do get a good handle on how to treat it, you are home free!
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I also wonder what the connection with trains might be. Is there a zoo near you, or any of the tourist trains? If so, you might take him on one of those. Zoos typically have trains and it would give him a change of pace to see the animals....unless you think that might cause confusion.

You can also play into the delusions and say you'll go in a few days (use the excuses as Malachy suggested - station's closed, under repair, something like that.

Whatever you do, don't deny that to him the delusions are real.
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Hit the wrong key and my reply was gone. Back to editing in open office and pasting.

FWIW: AWD translates to Alzheimer's Disease Wife.

My ADW is a retired Psych RN she would appreciate the comment: an old saying ….. “It goes like this: "the neurotic builds castles in the sky, the psychotic moves into the castles and the psychiatrist collects the rent." I said this to say - don't move into the castle with the person who has the delusions. Do your best to keep the person reality oriented but not to the point where it becomes argumentative.”

The train fixation is one of hundreds. It has many levels. Her dad worked for the Boston and Maine RR for years They commuted by train. We can hear lpcal RR trains whistles when they cross roads near us.

I am not able to watch TV because content shows up In delusions.

She was a serious pianist. Classical music on playing 24x7 {it makes her day}

I am addressing the symbology of the delusions to help in dealing with them with the help of a SW provided her by Mass Health. In fact this why I opened the topic. Forums reach thousands of individuals with great insights.

She is lucky, we have a terrific support network with indepth range of Alzheimer's experts. I spend my time while ADW sleeps developing mainzoneknowledgenetwork.blogspot.com/ . It is a work of love and not a penny of revenue

To toot my horn which helps me deal with caregiver stress:
I have been told that I fit the description a knowledge_worker.
As a Helper I transfer information to teach others, once they passed a problem. Assisting with dissemination, feedback, information search, learning, networking

As a Learner I use information and practices to improve personal skills and competence.

As a Linker I associate and mash up information from different sources to generate new information. Reading , dissemination, information search, information organization, networking

As a Networker I create personal or project related connections with people involved in the a wide variety of work, to share information and support each other.

As a Retriever I search and collect information on a given topic or variety of topics.

As a Sharer I disseminate information in a variety of communities.

As a Solver I share with who seek to provide a way to deal with a problem. Type your comments and experiences here.
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Jeannegibbs your Bus answer is spot on. My husband AD 84 years old goes through the delusions daily, you definitely have to cross into their AD castle to get the train, bus, mother or whatever the issue derailed, it only takes me seconds to do that now. Hope this helps UncleDave. Jasper89 they are called night terrors I went through it for quite some time, then occasional, now none at all. Just don't try to reach out physically and touch him trying to reassure him in his sleep as you may get slugged, I learned the hard way as they don't know who is touching them.
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