92yo w/Alzheimer’s requires a relaxed, forward moving, daily care routine in his home. I need to establish drop-in and planned visitor guidelines for putting his needs first and visits that are convenient for him. Guidelines are Also for hired caregivers to use in my absence.
Many are not considerate to call and ask for the best time to visit, so interruptions in care routine occur and we lose time or get behind with meeting needs. I don’t want to restrict socialization, but the following things are needed for a better quality visit:
He needs to have been fed without meal interruptions, completed AM care and to have been dressed. I need visitors to come at a time between breathing treatments, not to make a trip only to find we are not home, not awaken him if he is spontaneously napping, limit visitors to 1 person at a time, limit visit length to 30 minutes, be seated within ear/eyesight range, speak clearly and slowly. Do not ask questions requiring current recall of information, keep conversation topic pleasant and positive- not sad or inflammatory.
I would also like visitors to be current Covid and flu immunization and to not visit if they are feeling ill or had any recent exposure to illness.
It would also be nice if visitors could give back. Such as bringing him a box of cookies or something good to eat. He’s given much to you and your families for many years and you’ve always accepted everything offered.
Remember- this visit is primarily for his benefit, to make him feel loved and respected.
Do you have other suggestions to add to this?
Tell people to call first. Then you decide if it's a good time to visit.
If it's okay for guests to being treats encourage them to by letting them know they can.
I know how hard it can be to have to look after an elderly person with dementia and how every second of their daily routine has to be structured. I did this as work for 25 years. I got to the point where I simply stopped humoring people. Nurses and social workers who showed up unannounced and without scheduling a time were left at the door. Friends and family who decided to just 'pop in' were often left on the porch or in a part of the house which in some places became the waiting room. I had work to get done and I wasn't going to make my job harder on myself by throwing off a client's schedule.
It's like with a baby. Are visitors allowed to wake the baby up when they're asleep? Or start playing with him when he's in the middle of a feeding?
No, they are not because then the baby gets thrown off schedule and becomes cranky and fussy.
Same thing with elderly people. Especially ones with dementia.
Everytime I read a post like this I think "no visits in the morning!". I had PT wanting to come at 8am. Mom didn't get up till 8am and I was not waking her before then because she would be confused. I told them was not a good time because I had to get her up, dressed and breakfast. Mornings are always the busiest when Caregiving, I think.
I am with Burnt. You have a schedule that YOU need to stick to to make it all work. They visit when it convenient to you. Not to call ahead is really kind of rude.