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My parents made sure everything is equally split between my brother and I. We both have POA. He lives minutes from them. I’m 5 hrs by plane. I feel the influence he is directing them with is self serving and counter productive. Is there anything I can do to intervene?

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"...self serving" suggests to me that you have concerns about your parents' money and how your brother is influencing them to spend it or how he himself is spending it. Is that correct?

From 5 hours away, there's little you can do because you do not have eyes on the ground. You can hire an elder law attorney to request an accounting of what your brother has done and spent as POA and get the financial books to be opened to you. You can ask the attorney about hiring eyes on the ground for which *you* pay in the form of a caregiver to visit your parents on a schedule. You also can resign in writing as co-POA if all of this is too much for you to handle.
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You should be able to talk and come up with solutions and offer ideas. It's hard when more then one person is poa, that's why most times only one is appointed.
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What is this "bad advice?"
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Is this a co-POA or have a hierarchy (i.e. one before the other)?

What type of influence? Is he taking/bilking money out of them? Is he isolating them? Refusing meds and/or doctor visits?

What is their condition(s)? Are they mentally competent or not?

Being POA, you should have every right to anything he is privy to, such as medical status/treatments and finances.

If you have serious concerns, consulting with an EC attorney would be advisable.

IF somehow you can either by yourself or through this attorney find out if he is abusing his "privilege" (POA grants one the ability to make financial decisions when the principal can no longer do this or consult with medical care/treatment, but it does NOT give one god-power over anyone!), you could apply for guardianship, which will revoke all POAs. It is costly (if parents have assets, they can be used) and time consuming. It can also lead to a rift between you and your brother, but the primary concern is for the parents care and well-being. IF they are deemed cognitively impaired, you are more likely to gain guardianship. If it is only your brother taking advantage of them and they are just blindly going along, it may be more difficult.

It really depends a lot on what is really going on AND how much you can prove.
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I'd be open and honest with my sibling about my feelings that you have towards him and his directives.  I have no siblings, so it is just me.  However, everyone of my friends who have encountered problems with their siblings over the influence of the nearer one to the parent has said had the same concern.  They feel that the nearer one is not doing "right" by their parent.  I say, if you both have POA, then both should be sharing the responsibilities of the care for the parent--a 6 month care of hands-on with the parent.  That way, you can have your influence over the parent like the sibling has, and it gives both of you a chance to deal with issues connected with the parent--and a 6 month break from the parent which is badly needed for relief and sanity in order to carry on.
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MargaretMcKen Aug 2019
I doubt whether the advice to move back home for 6 months is going to be helpful. However it’s a good observation that the people who aren’t there, are often critical of the one on the spot, without having a full understanding of the situation. Could you give more details? ‘Give all your money to me’ is a real problem. ‘Move into assisted living’ needs more discussion between you both about the pros and cons.
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What is the bad advice. Not enough info to give advice.
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Unless you Fly Out on Every Whim and Prayer over There, It will be Hard. Try to Talk Turkey with To, But like my own Blister Sister, They can be Pigheaded. I opted out of POA when I moved way Down South and when Mom Died, She got the brunt of it, Now caring for Sad Dad.
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You feel your brother is giving bad advice to your parents. Like what?
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If you feel he is giving bad advice, if that advise could harm your parents in anyway, I would go to Elder Abuse & report it. Depending on the decisions, is the action you can take. To start off with, simply tell him how you are feeling about his advice, to your parents. Try to talk to him, over the phone & come to a compromise. If you get no where, you could talk to a lawyer who will answer a question for no charge. Depending on the severity is how you should go. If you are both POA, you should both together make the decisions. Sounds like he's fazing you out, due to distance. They are your parents, as well as his, so join in & talk it out to do it together.
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Can you provide more details? For example, what do you mean by "everything is equally split" (property, decision-making power, both)? Is the POA activated? Does the POA say that you and your brother must act together or that either of you can act for your parents? Does your brother provide care for your parents in addition to any decision-making he might be doing?
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