My 90 year old mum is currently living with us while on a waiting list for a care unit. She's mid-stage dementia (and we'll have more specifics around that in the coming week now that she's had a full neurological workup).
I'm curious - for those of you that may have lived with a dementia loved one, did you reach a point where you had to manage their television viewing? Mum has always loved tv, but recently she's increasingly misunderstanding A LOT of the information she views. She gets very agitated and upset and, frankly, sometimes her explanations as to why she's angry about what she viewed fringe on inappropriate ranting.
Today my husband and I discussed setting up parental controls and outright blocking a number of television channels so she flat out can't view certain content (especially news shows).
I'm hoping she'll never notice.
Also, she has a station that plays oldies music all day and night with no talking in between. It's like being at the dentist all day :)
When I was still single— 30 and living on my own— she asked if I got my own gas. Well yeah, who else would? “Oh I thought your dad got it for you every week.” Why would I drive 20 minutes to his house for him to take my car to a gas station when I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself at the one by my house? She said “well I saw on the news how a girl got carjacked at an Exxon this week and it’s not safe for you to get gas alone!”
.... yes, and that carjacking happened at 2 a.m., the perp was her old boyfriend, and was a part of town I wouldn’t go to in the daytime, let alone 2 a.m!
She’s been dead a few years now and it makes me sad to think how she spent her life so afraid of nothing.
For example, I put on a DVD of 'West Side Story' and within a few minutes she wailed for me to come and "turn it off! I don't like it!" - but she took me to see that show, she'd loved it forever. 'Bugsy Malone' went down like a lead balloon, too; no idea why, but she was quite indignant about it.
And then on the other hand, she tuned into a show called "8 out of 10 Cats" - presumably attracted by the title - and seemed to be enjoying it, but it's actually a satirical panel show with what I would have described as a good deal of highly inappropriate content.
So my conclusion is that it's a mistake to suppose that there is a rationale to what is upsetting your mother. By all means switch off or away from anything that is, clearly, distressing her, but I don't think you can exactly predict what she'll be happy with. For us, wildlife documentaries and murder mysteries went on being safe enough; and then later on, after stroke had affected her vision, music instead of tv.
Even I get agitated when I see the news these days!
Commercials have become a big problem, I read recently that with dementia you can’t ignore or filter the way you used to.
Same idea as restricting food intake, don't do it unless it cause some other problem.
I had to do the same for my Mom. It’s to keep them calm so I went nostalgic and found old shows she used to like before Dementia and let them reminisce about a character or program. It worked and those shows kept her calm and less agitated .And yes I blocked all news stations and even the naughty channels bc she would surf and one time she was watching porn and not understanding what she was watching so I set up a favorite guide and she had access to the channels I chose n I blocked all the news stations and set up a pin for purchases bc she tried to buy movies she liked or remembered . I hope this helps you and it’s not taking control, It’s protecting them from unnecessary frustrations and to keep them calm and peaceful which is important for persons with Dementia.
Whereas the news clips of the same things are short enough, and told from the 3rd person enough, that he generally doesn't fall into the story.
Our solution, which has been working more often than not, is a channel on YouTube called Memory Lane TV. It plays hours of relaxing music and plays videos of beautiful scenery, farm animals, flowers, etc. No stress, pretty music, lovely scenes with no people. I put the channel on and leave it. It entertains her somewhat and definitely adds to a relaxing atmosphere. Good luck and I hope this helps. It has been a life saver for us.
I can tell you that as my mother progresses into this horrific disease she thinks what's happening on the television is really happening. She got up 3 times in 15 minutes to look out the window for the "girl with the dirty car" outside of our house. It is a commercial for Ford. She has told me that people are outside on our lawn having a carnival. What she sees is what she thinks is happening in or around our house.
With that said, I would never think to not have the tv on for her because she has always been a tv watcher. I am very vigilant on making sure no crime shows, true story shows and the news don't come on. Thank God for Hallmark and TVLand.
Definitely use the parental controls. Perhaps dwindle it down to one local station (if she was a news watcher in the pre-dementia days). Give free range to some moving channels, like Hallmark, that don't have all the violence. If she has a genre of music she likes, flip the channel over to one of those channels a couple of times a day. Music opens memories in the mind and she may reflect on better times.
The main TV, we have a lot more options. Youtube has been a bonanza for us. You can find almost anything on youtube. Yesterday Today channel is montages of historical photos and she likes watching them. Mom and my stepdad spent a lot of time in their motorhome after they retired, and I can usually find videos from places she has been. Her parents had a cottage on an island in Canada, and it remained in the family until a couple of years ago. We can search for the island on Youtube to see if anything new has been posted. One of the Islanders became an astronaut, and we can watch old video of him singing Space Oddity from the ISS.
I have mentioned before that I try to get out to hear music at small venues. One show she went to was to see western swing band, Asleep at the Wheel. She got to meet, and had her picture taken with Ray, the front man. We can watch old videos, music, interviews, etc. and it is someone she is familiar with. Youtube is great cause you can find videos these people at all different ages.
She can't remember how to change the channel on the main TV, so i have to control what is on, but she does have lots of choices. She has ALWAYS been overly scared of things- so I try not to let her watch things that will get her agitated or give nightmares. Youtube works for us- hard to search for something and not find it.
Lost my mother in January. I miss caring for her, and would love to have her back, and the little peculiariries of that horrible disease....
Hallmark was also our go to station.
Now that she is in memory care with other activities her hallucinations are less.