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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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A person with a TBI that is showing signs of cognitive changes should not be POA. Is there anyone else in the family that you can talk to about the changes you are seeing in the daughter? If not you need to discuss this with the attorney that had originally drawn up the paperwork to determine what the next steps should be. If the daughter is not paying expenses this could be a big problem.
Her daughter is poa that suffered a brain injury since being appointed poa we no longer live with her I helped my stepmom Kaye purchase a home that is approx 200 yards from her daughter that is poa so for two years I’ve been primary caretaker all expenses where paid by Kaye my step mom food transportation insurance for vehicle and so on. Several months ago the poa suffered the brain injury and now she didn’t want to pay any expenses for me being here 24 hrs a day Kaye my stepmom didn’t want to get the daughter upset because since her brain injury she gets very violent! I’m trying to just get back the money I had to spend I was told several times this would be fixed it’s just getting worse I am in the will and at the time like I said poa and I where living together the hose I’m living in with Kay was going to be where I’d be living with poa when Kay passes I know it very complicated it’s difficult for me to express to total situation in a text
You're not the one in charge. Your step-sister is. If you've put money into the house and there's no kind of written agreement that you'd be paid back, that money is gone and you're not getting it back.
If you have no written agreement from the POA (or your stepmother if she's still mentally competent) for you receiving payment for caregiving and how much, no one has to pay you anything or pay for any of your expenses like food, a car, insurance etc...).
This sounds pretty terrible and it is, but without receipts and written documentation of how much you're to be paid back for money spent and what you're supposed to be getting in compensation for caregiving, you don't have a leg to stand on if you went to court.
If I were you, I'd petition the court for conservatorship/guardianship of your step-mother. You don't need a lawyer or anything to do this. You will get a hearing and at that time you go and explain your situation to the judge that your step-sister the POA has brain damage and is now refusing to pay anything for your 24/7 caregiving service to her mother. Let them know she was perectly fine with paying you before.
The court may appoint an officer of the court to be your stepmom's conservator and that person will not be doing it for free. They will get paid from her funds. If your step-sister gets violent and angry at the mention of what she's supposed to pay you, wait until she sees the bill a court-appointed conservator sends her for their services.
Petition the court. Just go to a hearing and go from there. Good luck.
Filling out your profile might help as well as actually asking a question. Are you asking about getting paid as a caregiver? If so you should have a contract with the person you are providing care for OR if that person is not competent you need a contract with the POA. Room and Board is NOT compensation for caregiving. So if the POA is telling you that you are living there free in exchange for caregiving the easiest thing to do is tell the POA that you are leaving and pack your bags and move on. If the POA does not find suitable caregiver then you can report to APS the "vulnerable senior" that is living alone. If you are looking for compensation for the work that you have been doing don't count on getting anything if you do not have a contract.
Your question doesn't make sense; we would love to help but if you restate I think we will better understand. You tell us that you are caring for your MIL and that her daughter is her POA> Can you tell us what you mean by saying "she is jarring me".
We'd love to try to help; just give us a clear restatement of the problem and what you are asking us.
If Kaye, your step Mom, has been able to pay you (meaning she isn't incapacitated) this means the TBI (traumatic brain injury) daughter's PoA authority is not yet active and therefore she has no legal power -- it's just your SM is afraid of her.
If you cannot get your SM to secretely pay you then you really don't have any power except to leave so that she is pressured to pay you and continue to pay you. You have no other power than this.
You can try to convince your SM to assign you as her new PoA because it seems her daughter really isn't an appropriate person. Consider taking video of her during her rages so you have supporting evidence. Call 911 the next time she becomes violent verbally or physically. The police/EMTs may be able to "Baker Act" the daughter where they keep her for mental health reasons because she is a danger to herself and others. You will need to tell the discharge staff that she creates and "unsafe" environment back at home for her elderly Mom. Do not go get her and tell any other relative not to bring her back to the house. Her Mom won't like this but if she can't see the problem with then entire scenario of not paying you and allowing a mentally disabled daughter run her life then maybe your SM has cognitive decline.
Honestly this is a tricky situation and you should make an exit plan as well as.
Tilefish: I am so sorry to say that I feel still not informed enough to answer you. My fear here is that you are functioning to care for someone without a care contract, and that you are living with the person, and dependent upon that person's POA?
I know in your situation that you likely do not have the finances to plunk down between 400 and 750 for an hour of lawyer time with an elder law attorney but you BADLY NEED ONE with the POA for the person you care for being very injured by a TBI and unable to function.
Please call APS today. You need adult protective services to iron out who is in charge of the person you are caring for, who will provide you compensation, where you can live now, and etc. The state may need to take guardianship of your 99 year old stepmom.
I am so sorry. I think there's nothing this Forum can do. If APS cannot help you then they can guide you to the best help for your situation. I wish you the very best of luck, and I understand about being totally unable to fill us in by text.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is there anyone else in the family that you can talk to about the changes you are seeing in the daughter? If not you need to discuss this with the attorney that had originally drawn up the paperwork to determine what the next steps should be.
If the daughter is not paying expenses this could be a big problem.
You're not the one in charge. Your step-sister is. If you've put money into the house and there's no kind of written agreement that you'd be paid back, that money is gone and you're not getting it back.
If you have no written agreement from the POA (or your stepmother if she's still mentally competent) for you receiving payment for caregiving and how much, no one has to pay you anything or pay for any of your expenses like food, a car, insurance etc...).
This sounds pretty terrible and it is, but without receipts and written documentation of how much you're to be paid back for money spent and what you're supposed to be getting in compensation for caregiving, you don't have a leg to stand on if you went to court.
If I were you, I'd petition the court for conservatorship/guardianship of your step-mother. You don't need a lawyer or anything to do this. You will get a hearing and at that time you go and explain your situation to the judge that your step-sister the POA has brain damage and is now refusing to pay anything for your 24/7 caregiving service to her mother. Let them know she was perectly fine with paying you before.
The court may appoint an officer of the court to be your stepmom's conservator and that person will not be doing it for free. They will get paid from her funds.
If your step-sister gets violent and angry at the mention of what she's supposed to pay you, wait until she sees the bill a court-appointed conservator sends her for their services.
Petition the court. Just go to a hearing and go from there. Good luck.
Are you asking about getting paid as a caregiver?
If so you should have a contract with the person you are providing care for OR if that person is not competent you need a contract with the POA.
Room and Board is NOT compensation for caregiving. So if the POA is telling you that you are living there free in exchange for caregiving the easiest thing to do is tell the POA that you are leaving and pack your bags and move on. If the POA does not find suitable caregiver then you can report to APS the "vulnerable senior" that is living alone.
If you are looking for compensation for the work that you have been doing don't count on getting anything if you do not have a contract.
You tell us that you are caring for your MIL and that her daughter is her POA> Can you tell us what you mean by saying "she is jarring me".
We'd love to try to help; just give us a clear restatement of the problem and what you are asking us.
If you cannot get your SM to secretely pay you then you really don't have any power except to leave so that she is pressured to pay you and continue to pay you. You have no other power than this.
You can try to convince your SM to assign you as her new PoA because it seems her daughter really isn't an appropriate person. Consider taking video of her during her rages so you have supporting evidence. Call 911 the next time she becomes violent verbally or physically. The police/EMTs may be able to "Baker Act" the daughter where they keep her for mental health reasons because she is a danger to herself and others. You will need to tell the discharge staff that she creates and "unsafe" environment back at home for her elderly Mom. Do not go get her and tell any other relative not to bring her back to the house. Her Mom won't like this but if she can't see the problem with then entire scenario of not paying you and allowing a mentally disabled daughter run her life then maybe your SM has cognitive decline.
Honestly this is a tricky situation and you should make an exit plan as well as.
I am so sorry to say that I feel still not informed enough to answer you.
My fear here is that you are functioning to care for someone without a care contract, and that you are living with the person, and dependent upon that person's POA?
I know in your situation that you likely do not have the finances to plunk down between 400 and 750 for an hour of lawyer time with an elder law attorney but you BADLY NEED ONE with the POA for the person you care for being very injured by a TBI and unable to function.
Please call APS today. You need adult protective services to iron out who is in charge of the person you are caring for, who will provide you compensation, where you can live now, and etc. The state may need to take guardianship of your 99 year old stepmom.
I am so sorry. I think there's nothing this Forum can do. If APS cannot help you then they can guide you to the best help for your situation. I wish you the very best of luck, and I understand about being totally unable to fill us in by text.