Help, a care home won't alow me to see my dad and have told me I can only visit a few hours a week and a then stop them getting out, not allowing you to speak, doping them up, fighting for 3 and a half years to get my parent home and all they do is make me out bad, they lie in order to keep them there. Help me please, I am bullied and hate going there to see everyone neglected, there cloths taken and jewelery and nobody does anything? The police won't help, and our family did not sign an agreement. What can I do, they all lie and slowly poison them, I know what's going on but I am on my own against them all. They don't care about the person only money. They make up stories and confuse my dad, bully him and tell him lies, to find out they have had his mail and take everything from him, even his blanket, ear veterinarian, they don't show any respect but lie and agree and back each other up. 2 weeks rest and now it's a living hell, family in debt, dad Drugged up and told he to old to have anything done to help as they will die soon, and nobody gets out alive. My dad has escaped, broken doors to get out, then they say he likes it it's best interest they say, and then tell you not to talk to anyone about it or you will get jailed, my dad is petrified and they won't let me speak to him or visit. When I do everything we say is written down, lies are told. I am afraid and I wake up shaking knowing what's going on and I can not do anything about it, it's a conveyer belt with the elderly. I cannot even ring, I am told five times a day ring back, I do then I am up at court for annoying them when all I want is to make their life better. My dad is in a bloody nightmare and I can't do anything. Everyone says get a solicitor but they have made me out a bad character and no one will help, they do this with everyone that wants to get home, they OK for a week or two, then start the drugs on them and slowly they push them into dementia, steal there hearing aids, give them to another resident then charge for them, what can be done, just forget them that's what I'm told. Living Nightmare. God knows what else goes on that I don't know about, I have a good idea but no one would believe me.
Hopefully, someone from the UK will respond.
You can use the drop down menu to see if they cover your local authority.
What you must take on board and accept is that it is not you who has rights, it is your father. He has a right to contact with his family. He has a right to independent advocacy when he cannot speak for himself. He has a right to the same human rights as anyone else, regardless of his mental capacity. It's important to set your own wishes completely to one side.
The trouble is that once you have lost credibility with the key decision makers, such as the OPG, you can't do much to help. I don't even know why I'm telling you that, you know it better than I do.
Going back to the beginning - what happened three and a half years ago that led to your father being placed in residential care?
Get your facts together and take countrymouse's advice about the proper people to contact to help you.
Best of luck